Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Pictures of sick and injured children on FB

55 replies

flaneurieandme · 27/10/2014 15:53

I've noticed that a lot of people seem to feel the need to post pictures of their kids on Facebook, Twitter etc. when they're poorly or injured. I don't want to offend anyone who does this but I'm sorry, I just don't understand it.

In the last few days I have seen pictures of a 5 year olds badly bruised face after a fall, a toddler's black eye and an older child lying on the sofa looking miserable with a sick bucket next to her. Another Mum I know had posted a few times about how her 8 year old was suffering with Chicken Pox which is fair enough, I can see how you might want a bit of support or sympathy from your friends but did she really need to strip the kid down to her pants and take a photo so everyone on Facebook can see how bad her spots are?

I have even seen a Facebook picture of a toddler lying on a hospital stretcher in her nappy, hooked up to a drip in A&E (nothing hugely serious, just a nasty stomach bug) which I found a bit shocking to be honest. Obviously when I saw the picture I felt a lot of sympathy for the poor thing and her Mum but I also found it bizarre that she'd felt the need to put it on Facebook. I just can't imagine seeing my DC's in that state and thinking "ooh, I must get a photo of this for FB".

Does this baffle anyone else or is it just me? I only use social media very sporadically and have never been the type to put a lot of personal stuff on there so maybe this is completely normal behaviour and I'm just a bit behind the times! Obviously I know people have a right to post what they like on their own page and if you don't like it you can unfollow them etc. I just wondered if I'm the only one that finds it a bit much?

OP posts:
ArkhamOffett · 27/10/2014 16:10

It just has more impact than writing 'X not well' I suppose.

Each to their own, though.

Sallygoroundthemoon · 27/10/2014 16:10

YANBU. I hate this too and just don't get it. But then I don't get people who take photos in hospital full stop. Very odd.

motherofmonster · 27/10/2014 16:14

I don't like it either but i was once (hypercritically) very tempted to take a picture of ds then 4 when he managed to get a pumpkin shaped trick or treat bucket wedged on his head

Wowthishurtsalot · 27/10/2014 16:16

YANBU I hate this

WhoeverYouWantMeToBe · 27/10/2014 16:19

YANBU. And photos of adults in hospital with a drip in their hand, etc. can't bear it.

carlsonrichards · 27/10/2014 16:20

Hide the photos or unfriendly the people if you don't like it.

CoolCat2014 · 27/10/2014 16:22

YANBU. Poor kids.

Besta · 27/10/2014 16:23

Totally agree, a massive pet hate of mine! What kind of person takes pics of a sick child then puts them up in public for everyone to comment on?

Turn this round - imagine an adult relative was sick in hospital. You wouldn't dream of going round to Ward 21 to take a picture of sick relative looking like crap and putting it out there on Facebook for everyone to comment. So why a child? No respect.

And the parents who post a status saying "off to a&e with Little Johnny". Well, if you've got time to post on Facebook it's not exactly an emergency is it? And if Little Johnny has had an accident, wouldn't most parents want them to be out of pain and sorted ASAP? So why delay to tell all your equally dozy "friends" - who'll all post crap like "u ok hun?"

Boils my piss, this one does!

Original poster
flaneurieandme · 27/10/2014 16:24

Carlson I did say in my op I realise that I have that option and that people can post what they like etc. Just wanted to know if anyone else found it odd.

OP posts:
LokiBear · 27/10/2014 16:25

I don't like this either. When my DD is ill the last thing feel the need to do is to update Facebook. I understand people use Facebook as a way of raising awareness about a disability or illness that they are trying to raise money for. I just think it's a bit mean to take a picture of a puky toddler or young child in pain just for the sake of a status update.

Original poster
flaneurieandme · 27/10/2014 16:29

Besta, I have a friend who posted that they are at A&E with one of their little one with no further explanation. I found it quite upsetting to see all the worried friends and relatives commenting "oh my god, what's happened?" including her own sister who seemed very anxious about it. She replied a few hours later that DC had hurt their toe.

OP posts:
carlsonrichards · 27/10/2014 16:30

No, I don't find it odd.

loopyarabella · 27/10/2014 16:35

My main concern is for the kids' privacy when they're older. Who knows what the internet will be like then? I don't mind putting normal pics of my kids online, but who wants their classmates finding chicken pox pics in ten years' time?

strawberrypenguin · 27/10/2014 16:36

Nope, not odd. I've done this myself when DS was in hospital for a planned but large operation. It wasn't a case of looking at him and thinking 'oh I must put this on FB' it was that I knew lots of people were waiting for news and worrying and FB was the quickest way to let them all know it had gone well (and see for themselves in a photo) so I could get back to DS

Original poster
flaneurieandme · 27/10/2014 16:38

I agree loopy, it wouldn't be considered acceptable to take a pic of your elderly Mum unconscious in hospital or covered in bruises after a fall because everyone would recognise their right to privacy and dignity. Why not the same for kids?

OP posts:
3LeetleKeettens · 27/10/2014 16:39

A girl I work with posted a picture of her 4 year old son in the back of their car covered in vomit.

She isn't getting the answers she wants from the doctors and the tag line was "he's been sick again, can't cope with this".

That's all well and good but I would like to think a mothers first instinct when their child is vomitting would be to comfort them? Not to take a picture and put it on Facebook

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/10/2014 16:42

I think it's fascinating. When you have a wide range of friends who aren't self conscious about what they post, your news feed can be a really interesting social documentry. I don't post that much, and the majority of my friends only post a few pics of their children in the park or the very dramatic sunset on their way home or the like. But I have a few people who are at the more extreme end and post all sorts of things about their lives that most people would gloss over. And I find it interesting to see it laid out there. A selfie of them after they've lost their dad integrated into their journal of life in the same way they post a selfie after their team won. The drama of life and the mundane, all sat together, posted with the same reach. There are ways in which I find the lack of guile, smoothing over all the badder bits of life, refreshing.

One of my friends documented his father's deterioration from cancer and, eventually, his death. It was kind of harrowing, but I know more about my friend and how I might support someone going through the same thing, or how I might draw strength if I have to go through it myself, because he wsa prepared to share that. Similarly with the traumatic and macarbe bits of parenting, glossing over those doesn't seem intrinsically good to me.

I think it's a form of biography and I don't think there's a general harm it being out there.

I'm against posting images I think my DCs might be concerned about when they're older. So there are no pictures of them in the bath or stripped down to their undies. But I don't think my limits on that are some sort of absolute and several of my friends live in other countries with different cultural standards, so how it works for them is different. But the general idea of posting about the sick or injured I don't disapprove of at all, even if sometimes I don't want to see it.

browneyedgirl86 · 27/10/2014 16:42

Yanbu.

I don't understand this either. I spend a lot of time in hospitals and clinics. It would be very boring and worrying for some if I updated Facebook every single time!

As for children? No way. I wouldn't want a pic of me in hospital being available online so wouldn't do that to a child!

Original poster
flaneurieandme · 27/10/2014 16:45

Strawberry, I think your situation is different as you were using FB as a way to let people know your DS was ok. To me that makes complete sense because there is clearly a point to it. I just can't see the point in posting a pic of your DC holding a sick bucket when they're off school with a tummy bug.

OP posts:
Mintyy · 27/10/2014 16:48

Yanbu. People seem to have lost sight of what is reasonable or not wrt facebook and their children.

MrsWolowitz · 27/10/2014 16:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElliotLovesGrub · 27/10/2014 16:52

I find it interesting that some people are that desperate for attention that they use their ill children that way. Anything that they think will get likes or comments is whacked up there. It's really bizarre to me now how much people are prepared to share online.

yellowdinosauragain · 27/10/2014 16:54

Well I think yabu because it's a personal thing and as you can see even from the short thread so far there are many reasons why people might do this that aren't all about living your life through social media.

I'm sitting next to my sons hospital bed at the moment while he waits to go in for a minor emergency operation. I've taken some photos, mostly of him having fun moving the bed up and down and playing. I might put them on fb later to show people he's fine. And if anyone complains about it quite frankly they can piss off because it's none of their business.

yellowdinosauragain · 27/10/2014 16:56

None of their business to analyse my motives in why I'm posting said photos I mean

loopyarabella · 27/10/2014 17:03

Yellowsinosaur I hope it goes well and he's feeling better soon.

Swipe left for the next trending thread