Pictures of sick and injured children on FB

[flaneurieandme]

I've noticed that a lot of people seem to feel the need to post pictures of their kids on Facebook, Twitter etc. when they're poorly or injured. I don't want to offend anyone who does this but I'm sorry, I just don't understand it.

In the last few days I have seen pictures of a 5 year olds badly bruised face after a fall, a toddler's black eye and an older child lying on the sofa looking miserable with a sick bucket next to her. Another Mum I know had posted a few times about how her 8 year old was suffering with Chicken Pox which is fair enough, I can see how you might want a bit of support or sympathy from your friends but did she really need to strip the kid down to her pants and take a photo so everyone on Facebook can see how bad her spots are?

I have even seen a Facebook picture of a toddler lying on a hospital stretcher in her nappy, hooked up to a drip in A&E (nothing hugely serious, just a nasty stomach bug) which I found a bit shocking to be honest. Obviously when I saw the picture I felt a lot of sympathy for the poor thing and her Mum but I also found it bizarre that she'd felt the need to put it on Facebook. I just can't imagine seeing my DC's in that state and thinking "ooh, I must get a photo of this for FB".

Does this baffle anyone else or is it just me? I only use social media very sporadically and have never been the type to put a lot of personal stuff on there so maybe this is completely normal behaviour and I'm just a bit behind the times! Obviously I know people have a right to post what they like on their own page and if you don't like it you can unfollow them etc. I just wondered if I'm the only one that finds it a bit much?

Yellow. Hope it's sucessful and you're all home quickly.

I have posted pictures of DS is hospital, he spends a lot of time there, it is a large part of his life unfortunatly. I am lucky that people I am friends with on facebook care about him and a photo can be a quick way of showing them he is on the mend. If anyone doesn't like it they are free to defriend me!

Actually the first photo I got of him smiling he was on oxygen at the time in hospital. Given a week before it was touch and go if he would survive I was very happy to be posting that photo.

Thanks loopy and boom. He's totally fine, with a nasty cut in his finger that needs stitching, just fed up because it's 12 hours since he's had any food. Hence the pictures being of him playing!

Sirzy I can totally get why that picture was so precious and you wanted to share. Hope your ds is doing well now

As I've said elsewhere I really think there is a world of difference between posting a picture of a child after an operation to let people know they're on the mend and posting a pic of a child holding a sick bucket when they've got a tummy bug. I understand the former but not the latter. I'm not saying that because I don't understand it then it's wrong, just that I personally don't get it. Of course, if a child spends a significant portion of their life in hospital due to a serious illness then that's entirely different because you're simply documenting their life and the majority of it is spent in those environments. Apologies, I should have been clearer in my op that it's really photos of minor injuries/ailments that I was referring to.

From the headline I thought this was going to be about 'please reshare' chain letters, which definitely are irritating! If it's their children, it seems a bit odd but they're probably the sort of people who Facebook everything. And if the child has something long term are they meant to not post photos of him/her for months or years?

YANBU. I hate this too and just don't get it. But then I don't get people who take photos in hospital full stop. Very odd

My daughter spent most of 3 years in hospital and we have loads of pictures of her. Not quite sure why that's odd.

What would be odd would be ignoring it and not taking the same amount of photos we would normally

Ir1na, as I've said elsewhere in the thread I was referring to minor ailments or injuries (black eyes, rashes, child holding sick bucket etc). If a child has a long term condition then that's something completely different. I think you're right, some people do seem to post a lot of deeply personal stuff on FB and because I'm not one of them maybe it seems strange to me but not to others.

Thanks yellow, he is nearly 5 now so it's a long time since he was that ill thankfully but still not 'well' but he doesn't care in the slightest most of the time!

Hope the op goes well.

I totally agree with you. A friend of mine posted pictures of their child in hospital with an oxygen mask on and then loads of selfies of him with a sad face next to his child asleep in the hospital bed. I just thought "WTAF you complete moron" a) if he's that poorly, concentrate on your child, not Facebook or b) if he is that poorly, stop using it to beg for sympathy likes

Mini, when a child is ill and you are sat by their hospital bed (often while they sleep for a long time) it can be very lonely and isolating. Have you ever considered that what you class as "begging for sympathy likes" is actually a cry for help/company and yes maybe some attention to help them keep going through a tough time

No matter what you do on FB, someone will find it odd, weird, not something they would do or even offensive. But instead of hiding it, walking away, PMing the person in question about it or leave a comment, they go and grouse about it elsewhere on the Internet. Now that I find odd.

Yanbu

Its attention seeking behaviour, they should spend more time comforting their DC not sharing photos of them feeling like crap!

There is somebody on my FB who I hid a while back, every week she was taking her kids to the doctors for the slightest things and updating her status with all the details and photos. Annoying and pointless!

I am of the opinion that certain photos of children should be handled sensitively. Doing embarrassing things, naked/bath time photos etc etc. They are not able to decide what to share with the world, so some parents should be more responsible!

Children are the most precious things in the world to parents and shouldn't be plastering them allover social media in this way! I certainly wouldn't want a photo of me half naked covered in chickenpox sharing!

I would like to add im not referring to long term conditions.

But The chickenpox... Sickbuckets... Rashes etc etc etc

Yes Sirzy, I have considered this. And I do agree it can be a tough time. But in this case I know the person very well and knew exactly what they were posting for. The same as "checking in" to the local ooh service etc every time their child is ill. Even the childs GM thinks that it's over the top and attention seeking.
If it is the odd post, I have no issue with it, but when it's the same people all the time, it makes me

Btw the child doesn't have a long term/serious illness.

YANBU.

It's crap like this that makes me want to run to some technologically moribund paradise.

I do remember a blissful time pre social networking and smartphones when the world didn't feel it necessary to chronicle every single fucking second of their lives on line.

Photos of sick children posted online without their approval is a major infringement of their right to privacy.
But privacy appears to be something that nobody has any respect for anymore.
Who in the pre-digital days would have taken a camera into hospital, photographed their sick child, whipped down Snappy Snaps and then sent pictures of said sick child to all and sundry?

I recall a story from a couple of years ago when a young child was dangerously ill and was being given CPR by paramedics. And what was the mother doing whilst this was happening? She was on fucking Twitter asking everyone to "pray 4 my little girl".
How far have people lost the plot in order to behave that way?

I post oictures of my sick kids, i am not desperate for attention as i only post when i gave something to say, maybe twice one day then nothing for a month.

But my kids chicken pox was really impressive, sooo many spots just had to share.

I treat facebook like a family conversation.

It's attention seeking - pure and simple.

x-post saucyMare

My DS has a long term illness/disability and spends 75% of his life in hospital, I take a lot of photos and upload them. 1, to raise awareness of his illness to people who don't know about it and the way it affects our lives 2, because I know the people I have on my FB genuinely care about him and like the updates (good or bad) I'm to wrapped up to text or call lots of people so FB is the easiest option and 3, because it's my outlet and like a diary for me and if people don't like it they can either hide me or defriend me. He is tube fed and I uploaded a video showing the process etc, it really opened people's eyes that just because someone looks 'normal' that isn't always the case.

I agree in the main but I did post a photo of my toddler's "boxing glove" bandage after I jammed her finger in the door (once she was home and ok) because it looked so comical: this massive bandage for such a small wound.

I agree with you OP, though I do think that FB can be, as someone above said, a kind of biography, especially for those living with illness. I'd want to say that children with an ongoing illness are very different in that people are updating others about a big part of their lives. But the kind of thing you mention above seems just like drama and attention seeking, not to mention unfair on the child.

I've also got FB friends who post dramatically about their child being in A&E and it turns out it's a bumped arm or sprained ankle or whatever - the few times I've been with one of my small DC in A&E, I was simultaneously far too upset and worried to post on FB, and also bloody glad that the reasons I was there were not more serious than they already were.

On my FB feed I see quite a few "liked" updates from the parents of children fighting terrible illnesses, and taking pictures of kids off school with stomach bugs, unpleasant as they are for the children, seems awful in the context of what many children go through or live with :(

I dont like seeing these pictures either not a day goes by when there isnt a poorly child or a child covered in cuts and bruises on my news feed, I just cant help think that that child is going to be mortified when they are a teenager . Seriously though I dont think its appropriate or in good taste, I wasnt to see happy/lighthearted things on my news feeds.

I have also noticed the main culprits on mine are the regular attention seekers, where have a douzen "omg what happened?" and then a "ill pm you message" . Not saying all.

I do think there are exeptions eg new born babies who are poorly (I myself have posted a pic just because so many people had been asking of her) and children who have terminal and life effecting illnesses.

So its ok for parents of poorly newborns to post pictures but not parents of poorly older children? at what age does it stop being acceptable then? At what age does it stop being less distressing for the parents having an ill child?

I posted pics of the dcs with chickenpox (just faces) We were in quarantine for two weeks in a house that was all packed up for a move. There was precious little entertainment so eeking sympathetic comments out of their grandparents, cousins and aunts on fbook gave us something to do. It is surely part of the aunt etc job role to send sympathy, right?

But I'm kinda meh about the ethics or not of it. Will they be embarrassed when they're older? Probably not but I think they'll be embarrassing themselves on fbook by then. ..