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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to shout at stranger

90 replies

littlejolee · 26/10/2014 18:16

Sorry this is a long one and a bit of a rant. In the que in lidl today and lo is one and already having some major toddler tantrums. He was having one at the checkout because I wouldn't let him play with the plastic bags. I tried distracting him with a toy and dummy and funny faces etc, no avail, so said tantrum continued with lo making a fair bit of noise but with no tears. The next minute the woman in front of me in the que turned around and put her face about an inch away from his nose, with her head right under the pram hood and started blowing really hard in his face! He starts screaming blue murder and the tears were streaming down his face, he never has tears unless he's hurt or frightened. He was crying so much he was holding his breath and going purple, he looked terrified. I flipped my lid at this point and said to her 'what the f* do you think you are doing get out of my child's face and stop blowing on him!' She said 'he's not breathing ' and she was right he wasn't but only when she started blowing on him! I was furious. I had to take him out of the pram and carry him home before he calmed down no mean feat im only 4ft9" and he's a little heffalump. Poor oh got a right earful when we got in!

OP posts:
NaiceNickname · 26/10/2014 18:21

Blowing in his face?! What the fuck is wrong with some people. I feel iffy about even giving another mum a sympathetic glance in these situations in case she thinks I'm being a patronising cow, never mind shoving my face into a pram and blowing on a child Shock

AimlesslyPurposeful · 26/10/2014 18:23

She blew on him? How odd.

What did she say when you shouted at her?

NorrisCole · 26/10/2014 18:24

Yadnbu I would have went nuclear Angry

Nativity3 · 26/10/2014 18:25

Yanbu

slightlyworriednc · 26/10/2014 18:25

Are you sure he wasn't already holding his breath? That might explain the blowing.

2minsofyourtime · 26/10/2014 18:30

I'm first aid classes they teach you to blow in a child's face if they are holding their breath.

Was your child holding their breath before you realised, if they are in a forward facing buggy you wouldn't necessarily know

BookABooSue · 26/10/2014 18:33

It sounds as though he was already holding his breath so she blew on him to get him to breathe. As a PP said, it's normal to do that.

Original poster
littlejolee · 26/10/2014 18:35

He's in a forward facing buggy but I was standing right next to him so I could see he was still breathing fine, like I said there weren't even any tears, just a big lip and lots of shouting. She put her face in his and he was hysterical and DID stop breathing properly. Ladies furious doesn't even cover it I could have smacked her...

OP posts:
Whichusername · 26/10/2014 18:38

YWBU to swear like that in front of your child.

Stripylikeatiger · 26/10/2014 18:38

I don't think you screaming and swearing is going to help the situation really, small children really pick up on their mother's emotions do the best thing you could have done for your child was calmly say please don't do that and leave as soon as possible.

I don't understand why your dp got an earful.

NatJon · 26/10/2014 18:41

Did she continue to blow in his face when he started to cry?

Topseyt · 26/10/2014 18:43

He was shouting and making lots of noise, so I can't see why she decided he wasn't breathing.

I would have flipped my lid too. She sounds weird.

Original poster
littlejolee · 26/10/2014 18:45

I didn't swear exactly (damn well wanted to though!) I didn't say f word just f. Oh got me having a rant about rude people being gross and breathing all over our baby is what I meant by an earful! He didn't get shouted at he just got a moody me! He was a treasure and made me a brew to calm me down I was shaking I was that angry and I'm normally pretty laid back

OP posts:
LittleMissFuckOff · 26/10/2014 18:46

I blow in DS's face when he's getting in a state as it surprises him and stops the tantrum and makes him laugh at the same time. Saying that, I didn't go to Lidl today.

Floggingmolly · 26/10/2014 18:47

She said 'he's not breathing' and she was right he wasn't. Confused
There was only one ignorant loon in this scenario, and it wasn't her.

Original poster
littlejolee · 26/10/2014 18:47

Yes she blew harder! Aimlessly purposeful she claimed he wasn't breathing when I shouted at her, but he quite clearly was

OP posts:
ScarlettlovesRhett · 26/10/2014 18:47

I wonder if he was already going blue too tbh, otherwise stranger lady was really odd.

My eldest when shocked or major tantrum (as a baby) used to let out all his breath and not take a new one iyswim - we were told to blow hard in his face to shock him out of it.

That's the only rational explanation I can think of!

skylark2 · 26/10/2014 18:51

Another one saying "it's a standard first aid technique for a kid who isn't breathing."

OP, you were clearly shocked especially as your kiddie then started screaming. I'd suspect you're not quite remembering everything in the order it happened in. It makes no sense at all for someone to say "he's not breathing" as a reason to blow in the face of a child who was yelling.

Topseyt · 26/10/2014 18:52

I understood what you meant when you said that your OH got an earful. I didn't think you were angry at him, just offloading what had happened. Sure we all do that sometimes. I do, as does my husband. That is the way it works.

"Getting an earful" is a phrase that could also be misinterpreted as "being angry with him" though. You weren't. You just needed to vent and he understood that.

Original poster
littlejolee · 26/10/2014 18:54

I see what you are saying but I was standing right next to him, he hadn't changed colour and wasn't having a major tantrum just a little one. And floggingmolly if you read my post properly you would see he only stopped breathing AFTER she started blowing in his face. Bear in mind he's a nightmare for stranger anxiety and she, a complete stranger, put her face an inch from his nose and started blowing in his face. That would freak me out never mind a child.

OP posts:
WhenWillISeeYouAgain · 26/10/2014 18:56

What Floggingmolly said.

You sound charming... Hmm

InaPuckle · 26/10/2014 18:56

Watch out for breath holding spells. My DS used to have these, he never had proper toddler tantrums and would go blue in the face and pass out. A really difficult one. Blowing never actually stopped him. I saw childcare workers doing the blowing when he would give a sort of silent yell which was a precussor to the full blown breath holding spells. Triggered by things like shock with a jammed finger or in a tantrum like way with teeth brushing and nappy changes.

NatJon · 26/10/2014 19:01

Hmmm. I work in a nursery and we are told to blow gently in a child's face if they home their breath. However, if she still blew when he was crying/screaming, clearly he was breathing, so strikes me as quite odd.

Thehedgehogsong · 26/10/2014 19:04

I'm shocked so many posters have said YWBU! You definitely weren't! I would expect someone concerned about my child's breathing to say 'he's not breathing!' Not puff their icky breath over my small child.

Clearly she thought she knew better than you what was right for your child.

If it makes you feel any better, I once slapped a hand away of a woman trying to touch my child's face, when she was about a month old. I'm sure she wasn't actually a risk, but my instincts told me to do it before my brain engaged! I probably would have done similar to someone puffing in her face too, but the slap would have been even less appropriate, considering her face would have been the recipient Confused

hollie84 · 26/10/2014 19:11

The loon started blowing in his face while he was shouting, causing him to freak out and hold his breath. She wasn't performing first aid!