dp and I have separate rooms

[calculatorsatdawn]

Dp is moving in in a few weeks time. This isn't a massive leap as he currently lives a couple of streets away and the norm for us for a while has been, weekdays at mine and weekends at his. When he stays at mine he sleeps in the spare room and when he moves in this is how we plan to continue, he will have a bedroom and so will I. We both have quitedemanding jobs and value a good nights kip and the best way of achieving that is separate beds. I told my friend about this and she thinks it's weird (this doesn't bother me, she's been my best friend for 20+years she can express any opinion she likes to me). I know so many people who live together who moan about having having a crappy nights sleep because their partner was snoring or couldn't sleep yet insist on sleeping next to each other. Aibu in not really seeing the point? You've got your eyes shut, the only time you're aware they're there is if they are disturbing you. I also wonder if having sseparate beds is way more common than people think

[Idontseeanysontarans]

Oh yes, 2 houses connected by a (lockable) door...
I love DH dearly but could definitely do this!!

[DraaaamaghAlpacaaaagh]

We have our own bedrooms with visiting rights

It works well for us as we both snore & wake each other up, and we have different body clocks - he is an lark & I'm a night owl.

We've been together for 26 years.

[Hatespiders]

We've always had separate rooms (not 'spare room' as both bedrooms are equally large, with kingsize bed in each) for years and years, very happily.
We each need a good night's sleep, I snore and he's restless, and much prefer this way. Also, my husband likes his 'territory' and so do I.
If I'm ill in the night, see a spider or have a nightmare, he comes flying in to help me. And we have a lovely cup of tea together in the early morning.
Nobody should say' "It's weird'. It's really none of their business is it?
We know a devoted couple who live in adjacent cottages! Been together for years and each prefers their own space. You do whatever suits you.

[ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties]

Dh and I would LOVE our own rooms. We will have it one day! And an office/studio!

[NeedaDiscoNap]

DH and I are currently in separate rooms as I am sharing with 5 month old DD. When he does the night feeds we swap rooms. I'm quite liking it and wouldn't mind keeping it!

He's a snorer and a duvet hogger and at the moment I get a better night's sleep with the baby waking me than when he's there!

[eddielizzard]

i would love to have my own room. sadly no space, but i don't see anything wrong with it.

[Mintyy]

Dh and I don't have separate bedrooms but we often end up sleeping apart. I am a chronic insomniac and most nights I need to put the light on and read fr an hour around 4am-ish. He couldn't sleep through that, so often sleeps in spare room.

I would like to have a large enough house to have a proper fully furnished bedroom each plus 1 spare.

[Coffeeinthepark]

One kingside bed, two single mattresses. Perfect!

[GingerCuddleMonster]

Each to their own I say.

me and DP love sharing a bed and cuddle all night long, we literally sleep in a weird human knot, but I completely see why others would hate it.

[RiverRocks]

Think it depends on the couple. DH had lived by himself for years before we got together. I started staying over and every night I'd wake up shivering in the early hours to find he'd cocooned himself in all the covers. Solution- we have our own duvets.

I'm a wriggler when I'm trying to get to sleep, and DH is quite a light sleeper. Solution- when we moved we bought a super-king sized bed.

We now have the equivalent of two individual beds in terms of space and duvets, but share a mattress. If being in the same room affected our sleep, it may be a different story- for example, if one of us is ill with cold/cough and it disturbs the other, then we'll sleep in the spare room.

For me, we have the best of both worlds-we get our own space but DH is close enough to kick when he's been drinking and starts to snore cuddle up to in the morning

[Solaia]

I couldn't bear this! We love just spending time in bed together, reading and talking. I love that it's a joint private place for just the two of us to share. It's ours, and it's lovely.

And I love being able to reach out and touch him in the middle of the night and know he's there, he's alive and all is well with the world...

Couldn't bear separate bedrooms! Bathrooms, yes...

[Happy36]

I think it´s fine. Sleep well and enjoy your waking hours together!

[HappyYoni]

When I moved in with my partner I brought all my furniture and put it in the spare room which became my bedroom. 8 years later we are still v happy with this arrangement. I don't understand the desire to share a bed other than for cuddles and whatnot at the beginning of the night or in the morning, the bit in the middle is for sleeping!

[cookiemonster100]

OMG I didn't not know this. So, I can chuck DH in the spare bedroom FOREVER & never again will he wake me with his late coming & goings. Why did I not think of this earlier!!
But who gets custody of the baby monitor?

[Bulbasaur]

11 years on and we still sleep tangled up together. I miss him if he's away.

Same.

I can't sleep without DH.

[HappyYoni]

Take it in turns with the baby monitor!

[thursday]

I'd love my own room, he'd be hurt at the idea. But that's because he can sleep through an earthquake, and it have to try and sleep through the earthquake that is his snoring. It's a serious issue to me, and isn't at all to him, which makes me murderous. I definitely cannot last 10 years til a child moves out and we can't move. I have considered sharing a room with my daughter and sticking him in the box room, but it's a temporary solution. It makes me so miserable I think it will be the end of us. All For some idiots idea that sharing a tiny double bed was a standard requirement of a relationship.

My parents had separate rooms as soon as one became available and were happier for it. I think it's pretty normal but people don't say in case they get judged as not having enough sex.

[TheBooMonster]

I would love love love to have my own bed. No poisonous morning breathe, no being groped awake at all hours of the night, no fights because he thinks it's ok to grope me awake for a shag int he morning and is then horrified that I'd much rather kick him in the jewels than have yucky poisonous morning breathe sex if you insist on waking me up to try your luck at least do it with a good coffee and brushed teeth! . I'm desperately trying to get the spare room cleared with a bed in it so that I can sneak away and sleep in there, I sometimes manage to sneak a few hours of sleep on the (infinitely more comfortable) sofa but I generally have to set an alarm and sneak back up before he wakes up because he'd he horrified that I wanted to sleep somewhere other than in the bed with him.

But he also barely held it together when I was in hospital waiting for an induction and then shock horror in the hospital for a night after the birth because I wasn't in his bed with him where I as his wife belonged >.> So this isn't a fight I'm going to win ever. Unless I get so fat I take up an entire king sized bed.... and because he doesn't have space he has to sleep elsewhere reaches for the cookies

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

Haven't RTFT so nuke me :D but DH and I have slept in separate rooms for years now.
It makes sense for us, we both snore, we're both too large to fit comfortably in a double bed together, so I sleep in "our" room and he sleeps in the lounge on a sofa bed.
It works for us and we both get the sleep we need.

[TalkinPeace]

If one of a couple snores such that they wake themselves up, let alone anybody else within ten feet, separate beds are the only way to stay happily married.
I am that snorer

[MummyBeerest]

I want my own room so effing bad.

Dh is a horrible snorer and steals blankets.

He refuses to entertain the idea.

We have no extra "bed" room so it's a moot point. But I'm jealous.

Yanbu.

[Booboostoo]

DH and I have had separate rooms for about 4 years now. He snores and frankly I would kill him if I had to sleep with him so I used to get up and move to the spare room in the night. Then I got pregnant and was just too tired of the nightly disruption to my sleep so moved into the spare room permanently. I now sleep with newborn DS and DH sleeps with DD - everyone's happy.

Do what works for you.

[LoveBeingGetAGrip]

The important thing is if it works for you both.

My Dh took to sleeping on the sofa after ds was born, it bothered me for the first year now it doesn't. But that in a bad way .

[TeacupDrama]

We both have double room, I'm a lark he is an owl and snores, it works just fine, I need my sleep and just can't sleep properly together nightmare on holidays and when visiting but we cope

[luby03]

I love sharing a bed with DP, we chat and co sleep....when I get up in the night....when I get back into bed he snuggles me back to sleep, I couldn't imagine not having this! We do have a super king bed though so there's room for us all. For a while we had separate duvets as it was really cold and DD kicks them off so it worked well to have two but neither of us liked it and now we're back to sharing....
Each to their own and I can see why it would work for you but I just love the intimacy of sharing too much
Good luck x