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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report her and risk wrecking her career without 100% proof?

93 replies

FoamingAtOnesMouth · 23/10/2014 12:42

Don't want to give too many details away so bits of info have been changed but the story remains the same. Basically I am a mentor for a student who is currently on placement with me. She's 34 years old, married with kids. All normal.
First couple of weeks were fine, no probs but then odd stuff started happening in our place if work that had never happened before. Starting with a sign appearing in the female toilets saying "please flush the bog after use". Everyone was questioning it because the wording was obviously not normal but the sign had been printed and laminated so looked as official as pos really. Nobody owned up to it. A week later the sign was taken down and a new one appeared reading something along the lines of "flush the big and get rid of any shit stains. Thank you". Again nobody admitted to it and the person in charge made a big deal of it saying whoever was doing it was risking disciplinary action. At this point my student kept asking questions about it and seemed to find it hilarious and was trying to figure out if anyone else found it funny. Other odd 'happenings' include a full loaf of bread being ripped apart and left stuffed in its bag and what we assumed to be food colouring in a bottle of milk in staff room. None of this shit happened before she got here but I felt bad blaming her because she actually seems as normal and nice as possible!
Latest incident was yesterday and was basically her laughing her head off quite hysterically because someone slipped. Obviously I've spoken to her but she remains as calm and collected as ever and shows the same confusion as everyone else but I just know it's her but can't explain why. All our magazines in the staff room get defaced with daft drawings etc too and in a conversion with another colleague she told then that people eating marmalade on toast makes her so angry she feels like shoving it down their throat. She laughed it off but it's still an odd thing to say no??

OP posts:
KatieKaye · 24/10/2014 22:43

agree that there is no actual evidence it is this person. And random members of staff putting up cameras sounds a very bad idea - I bet HR would love that!

It could definitely be a cleaner, if you are in a large workplace - I worked in a 7 storey building and there was a cleaner on duty throughout the working day, cleaning the toilets floor by floor and then starting all over again. it could also definitely be a disgruntled member of staff or just someone who enjoys winding other people up (there wasn't actually mention that the toilets were left in a less than pristine condition in OPs post)

Purplepoodle · 24/10/2014 22:50

Get manager to get you all together and give a quick talk on how this behaviour is not acceptable and whoever is doing it is to stop immediately. Your not discriminating or blaming but hopefully it will stop the person who is doing this.

CromerSutra · 24/10/2014 22:58

Very surprised at the way some people are playing this down! This is an adult in a workplace not a 6 year old at school. Whether it is your student or not op I think that behaviour is extremely alarming and if you do work with vulnerable people it is even more concerning.

If I were your managers I would be seeking advice as to how I could track down the culprit because I think they need help and I think this person needs not to be working in that setting until they are well.

KneeQuestion · 24/10/2014 23:03

Report her?

You have nothing to report though, other than your suspiscions?

patronisingbitchinthewardrobe · 24/10/2014 23:09

Sounds like a teaching situation. If you have any doubts at all about a trainee, you need to discuss them with the mentor from the university. They might have doubts too. Start keeping detailed records of all incidents. But maybe you are a nurse...

KatieKaye · 24/10/2014 23:26

It is not up to OP to "track" the culprit down! And it is probably well outside her job remit. This sort if thing has to be dealt with by management and HR not by random members of staff. That's how witchhunts start.

There is also no evidence this is the work of a single person. If this is even a medium sized workplace there are all sorts of folk around, some of whom find it amusing to deface magazines or who are overly obsessed with toilet cleanliness. The staff with the bread was very strange, but I once worked with a perfectly nice chap who had a bad habit of leaving loaves of bread in his desk drawer and letting them grow mouldy.

Maybe the person putting up the notices is extra sensitive to using public loos or has OCD?

Although using "shit" in a poster is a bit strange I wouldnt call that or anything else in the OP extremely alarming". Peculiar, yes. Even quite annoying. But not alarming.

hedwig2001 · 25/10/2014 00:49

If you are a healthcare professional you have a duty report or at least make clear in your written assessment that you have concerns. You can only go with what you know for sure. The poor attitude regarding someone falling can definatley be flagged up.
You have my sympathies. I was mentor to a student I had grave concerns about. Failing someone is really hard, but you have a duty to future patients not to ignore concerns.

saintlyjimjams · 25/10/2014 10:21

You should only stick to work related incidents though. I had SALT students working for be for years. I got to know them all well. One had a nightmare placement (can't remember whether she was failed or just very bad feedback) but that placement had previous for giving students low scores & it sounded as if the mentor just didn't like students! All her other placements had excellent feedback & she worked for me for over a year (with exactly the type of 'client' she would have been dealing with in her placement) & I though she was excellent.

I think if you start straying into things you have no proof of, her conversation topics, or reported conversations from others you're on dodgy ground really. Stick to how she is with patients.

Tinkerball · 25/10/2014 10:26

How odd!!

raltheraffe · 25/10/2014 11:13

90% of the contracts I hold have cleaners working short shifts out of hours. It is only in very big workplaces, like hospitals, supermarkets and shopping centres when cleaners tend to be on duty throughout the day doing longer shifts. Unfortunately small independent companies like mine never bag these larger contracts-they go to Mitie, Initial or Sodexo the giant facilities management businesses. Even then I doubt it is a cleaner. I am not denigrating my staff but they do not tend to be very technical people. Many of my staff cannot email a time sheet in because they do not have a computer due to low income and some have a computer but cannot work out how to use email. When accident sheets run out I normally have to supply more myself as they cannot fathom the office photocopier.
This sounds far more like a member of office staff who is bored and has time on their hands. All my staff are given a job list to adhere to in their shift (eg mop floors, clean out fridge etc) and they get on and do it.

fabricfreeshiner · 25/10/2014 11:36

She's a student and I'm guessing you are probably stereotyping her. However, you have no proof, and you would be wrong to accuse someone, without that evidence.

Why not have a stern chat with the whole team about behaviour, and explain there will be consequences if these things keep happening?

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 25/10/2014 11:47

Yes it's odd that this "shit" has just started happening when she has came on her w/p to you. However that is still not concrete proof that it is her who is responsible. The fact that she remained so calm when confronted gives me doubts that it may not have been her. Yes some people are good at manipulating others.
You need hard evidence that she is doing these things because if you throw accusations around that turn out to be unfounded your company could end up in deep water.
Agree with Fabric. Get everyone together as a group (meeting) and explain about what is happening and what the consequences will be.

raltheraffe · 25/10/2014 11:52

I do not think the OP is stereotyping the student. It is more a case that all the weird goings-on started when this student arrived. It will be interesting to see what happens when the placement ends-will all the strange things then stop as she leaves?
OP I can understand you are intrigued as to who is doing this, but it is really not your job to play Miss Marple and track down the offender. Just leave it. Hopefully the perpetrator (who does not sound particularly bright) will slip up and their identity will be revealed.

Pipbin · 25/10/2014 12:05

I'm surprised at the differences in opinion here. I don't think that leaving a note reminding people to keep the toilets clean is a problem, however the wording is. Something like 'just a reminder that these are shared facilities, please leave them as you would like to find them' is more appropriate. The fact that someone has taken the time to print and laminate them makes me wonder about a waste of work hours. And as a work placement person it is hardly her place to put up a sign.
The whole thing with the bread and milk is very odd.

saintlyjimjams · 25/10/2014 12:34

But there's no proof she made the sign!

KatieKaye · 25/10/2014 15:41

I worked for nearly 30 years in large offices where there a cleaner was on all day for the toilets and then a different set of cleaners came in at night to clean the office rooms.

I currently work in a much smaller office where the cleaner has an MBA and would be more than capable of typing out a few words on a piece of paper and then printing it out.

It sound as if OP might work in a fairly large place, one where they probably have a facilities management team who would be responsible for maintaining the premises. Putting up signs would be their responsibility.

Nowhere did OP say she was the manager of the area, in which case it is not up to her to call the staff together and talk to them - that is up to management.

Report the issue. Let it be investigated properly.

Pandora37 · 25/10/2014 17:16

I agree that you can't report her as you haven't got any proof. If you're concerned about her work as a student have a look through the reports of her last placements (if she's done any before) and see what they say. Or maybe ask your work colleagues what they think of her? But as for all these strange goings on, well all you can do is report them and let the managers focus on finding out who it is.

MrsWedgeAntilles · 26/10/2014 08:36

You sound very unsettled by this whole carry on and I imagine your student is more so. I would contact your student's personal teacher and discuss what's happening with a view to better supporting her through what must be a bit of nightmare placement.
If your student isn't a suitable candidate then there will be other reports and yours will just add to the overall picture and if she's not you will have supported her.

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