I feel DH is being quite dictatorial...AIBU?

[TattyDevine]

DH wants us to visit his sister during half term. She has 3 children, we have 2, they get along really well.

SIL lives about a 3 and a half hour drive away. We will also be seeing them all at Christmas at parent in laws house which is only now a couple of months away.

I would personally rather go for 2 nights, whereas he wants to go for 3.

That's not the only issue though.

He wants to play golf with BIL, also fair enough. However he wants to play "at least twice". In my experience, even if they get up and out by 8am, they are still seldom home much before early afternoon. In addition to this, there is something at work that has clashed with the annual leave he is taking during half term, and he is now saying he is thinking of getting the train to London one morning to attend this meeting before making his way back and presumably then playing golf.

My issue is this - I really don't want to go for 3 whole nights, particularly if in doing so he is not there all that much - leaving me at home with both sets of children and SIL making polite small talk and just supervising I guess! I wouldn't take him to see my family only to disappear for half of it doing various leisure activities of my own, leaving him with my family - it wouldn't be fair.

My preferred situation would be to drive there early one morning, stay that night, have the full day there the next day, stay that night and drive back the following day. During this time he could play golf once and take his time and really enjoy it, and spend the rest of the time with the rest of us. And now with this London meeting clash its even more of a reason, in my opinion, to make it a 2 night stay, and he can do the London meeting thing from here.

However, when I pitched this idea to him, he just said "well, you don't have to come then". I know I don't have to come - but its very "my way or the highway". I don't actually want to stay here for 3 nights without husband or children and no car! I suppose I could hire a car but its all so unnecessary when we could just compromise.

AIBU?

well that's that, then-for the moment!

i was thinking though how odd that he wants to see his sister, but would spend most of the time golfing with his BIL & then at a meeting!

Hardly great for his sister either!

True Diddl they are not terribly close.

Sorry to disappoint with an anti-climax...it could have been a major argy bargy with me vowing to LTB followed by a major custody battle and me shoving a rusty golf club up his arse

Give it time, give it time...

Don't apologise - this isn't a soap opera. I hope today's looking a more peaceful day than yesterday.

Did you like my name? it's from a song.

I feel very strongly about the default childcare thing. I think it's one of the supports for the glass ceiling, as well as ensuring that women often get far less time to be a person in their own right as well as a mother. I understand deciding between a couple which career takes precedence and that the other will step in on work related absences. That conversation happened, right? The problems develop when that is carried over into non-work life.

And, yes, it's not a soap opera. I'm just chipping in under no illusions that I make any sense to you or with any need for updates beyond general nosiness.

However, when I pitched this idea to him, he just said "well, you don't have to come then".

Tell him that's great then, since he doesn't mind, you won't ... you've got a lot to do yourself anyway.

Ask him if he would like you to help him pack for the children.

I should have read the whole thread, before posting.