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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be absolutely gutted that there is no ticket for me to attend my step DD's graduation?

102 replies

JessePinkmansHoody · 21/10/2014 20:39

There were only two allocated tickets and you could apply for more. One more has been allocated, not two, and that's gone to DP's ex wife's DH as of course it should because he's been on the scene much longer than me and helped bring her up.

Step DD has told DP that I should come and they will try to get me one on the day. But I think that would be a bad idea. It'll only make everyone feel bad (especially step DD on her special day) and me feel stooopid sat in the car in my new frock!!

I've looked on the uni website and there seems to be no mention of "tickets in the day" anyway.

But I'm gutted Blush Step DD is lovely altho I've never got to know her as well as I would have liked in the 5 years I've been with her dad as she's been away at uni for most of that. Reading on the site about the celebrations for graduates and their guests has made me feel very... shamefully.. rubbish (yes I'm a spoilt child) but I want to share in her special day... And I've never been to a graduation (although it's my own next year.. Touchwood... So I'm gagging to see what happens!)

I know it can't be helped but needed to vent here as have to put brave face on it EXCEPT on here Sad Don't I! Hmm

OP posts:
Picturesinthefirelight · 22/10/2014 11:35

YANBU to be gutted but it is standard practice. For my own graduation I was only allocated two tickets so my fiancé (now dh) was not able to go.

He waited outside (went fir a drink with my friends boyfriend) & then we all went for a family meal afterwards.

Picturesinthefirelight · 22/10/2014 11:38

I'd better tell my dad to stop going to the pub on Friday afternoons then before he picks ds up from school for me (he often takes ds with him afterwards )

Picturesinthefirelight · 22/10/2014 11:38

How did that happen? Wrong thread.

happygirl87 · 22/10/2014 13:43

Definitely go and join everything else. It's tough with ticket allocation, but little you can do- at least you might have an hour or two to see the town?

3bunnies · 22/10/2014 13:57

The best bits are after with the meal andphotos so definitely go. The ceremony itself is somewhat repetitive.

I only went to 2/4 of mine and have only just realised due to this thread that I might have to sit through three more if I keep encouraging my dc to go to Uni - perhaps I should be shoving retail applications under their noses insread!! (Realises on AIBU and sneaks out before anyone flames me for my view on the future careers of my dc)

Enjoy the day!

Original poster
JessePinkmansHoody · 22/10/2014 14:41

Molio I admit I WAS feeling "absolutely gutted" at time I posted. An over dramatic reaction perhaps but I wasn't sharing it anywhere but here so no harm done. And I felt better with the first few replies onwards so I'm glad I DID post.

A graduation IS a big deal in our family (and DP's).. So we reserve the right to treat this one as such but, as I've already stated, having been reassured that it won't be a faux pas to go along without a ticket to the ceremony I'm feeling fine about it now. (And if I WASNT I wouldn't be sharing it with DSD or even DP)

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 22/10/2014 14:43

I think it's standard to have two tickets and then more available if people don't want them. I suppose there is a chance you would get one on the day if people don't come because of illness and so on. I agree asking round student friends if anyone has spares.

NapoleonsNose · 22/10/2014 14:52

Another one agreeing that graduations are hardly scintillating and I say that from the point of view of someone who has attended two of my own. My last one was held in the hottest marquee in the world and by the time I went up to get my scroll I looked like a damp rag! It went on for ages and the speeches were incredibly boring. Once your, or your loved one's moment of glory is over, the rest is pretty uninteresting and the complimentary wine is usually sweet and warm!

LittleMissGreen · 22/10/2014 16:08

The uni I work out give out 2 free tickets and if any are left over they are put up for sale in advance. I don't think there are any left this year, but they definitely have a 'big screen' on a first come first served basis.

merlehaggard · 22/10/2014 16:18

Yeah def turn up. I'm going to have the same thing when my daughter graduates next year. I would really like my dad to see it as she is the first in the family to go to uni and know he will be so proud. There's more celebrating to be done before and after than the actual graduation.

Triooooooooooo · 22/10/2014 16:38

Oh this has set me off blubbing, your step dd is such a lucky girl to have so many people who care about her.

IrianofWay · 22/10/2014 16:41

Go along anyway to enjoy the day, the champagne and the excitement! IME graduation ceremonies themselves are arse-achingly dull and looong.

Greengrow · 22/10/2014 16:44

I managed to get 5 of us into all 3 graduations by applying for extra tickets very early at my older 3 children's universities. Actually I think one said they always had lots of spare tickets on the day so just arrive and pick them up from a table. I remember that. I think we did that at the last one and there were indeed lots of spares - we were one of the first there to make sure.

Even if you don't have enough tickets I expect you can get in at the last minute or stand at the back (they are dull as ditchwater these events by the way so if you sat outside on the grass for an hour and just had the drinks after and bought the CD you would not have missed much).

Original poster
JessePinkmansHoody · 22/10/2014 17:32

Thanks everyone and aw thanks Trioooooo, that's nice given that I was actually feeling a bit silly moaning about having no ticket. I honestly didn't realise how "gold dust-like" they can be.. I've been thoroughly educated Smile

OP posts:
SylvaniansKeepGettingHoovered · 22/10/2014 20:02

You're really not missing anything, grad ceremonies are extremely boring!

HappyAgainOneDay · 22/10/2014 20:25

I attended my DS's graduation as did his father, my X. Unfortunately, his former mistress of many years wife had a ticket. My lovely DH is late so she wouldn't have been able to have one if he'd still been with us. Better that they both could not attend the ceremony. Trouble is, she pushed herself into the official photo so I can't put it on my sitting room wall.

ijustwanttobeme · 22/10/2014 20:29

Wow, we must have been lucky when DSS graduated, in that there were no restrictions (as far as I know)

DSS asked for and received three tickets. 1 each for his mum (DP's ex), DP and myself.

Off topic I know, and this was a huge deal for me- as well as the photos taken with DP and exW, he also had photos that included me. Even had some with the three of us standing beside him.

At my brother's graduation, it was two tickets only. My parents went into the cathedral while I mooched about a bit. Then had photos etc with all of us.

Hope you do get to go, but if not enjoy the parts you can.

Original poster
JessePinkmansHoody · 22/10/2014 20:40

Can't you photoshop her out HappyAgain? God.. I wouldn't dream of inviting myself into the photos (ticket or not) unless invited

OP posts:
Original poster
JessePinkmansHoody · 22/10/2014 20:42

Wasn't aimed at you JustWantToBe me..(hadn't read your comment in time) . Different situation obviously and clearly you WERE invited to be in the photos

OP posts:
PicaK · 22/10/2014 22:10

BTW - if your step dc's tutor is going to be at the ceremony (at the front gowned up) then they'll probably be able to get tickets. Worth asking.

JoyceDivision · 22/10/2014 22:19

Go! Join in, goto the mea eve before, go with them up until everyone is going into thevenue then give your DSD a big hug, tell her your super proud, not to worry that you can't get in as in a couple of hours you'll all be celebrating together, and you can mooch round and grab a nice drink some where, or if poss maybe buy her a little gift to show you're thinking of her, even something daft like a 'worlds best student / or a nicebottle of vino or absolut vodka cherries ahem BlushGrin fpr when she is off to party with her mates

Original poster
JessePinkmansHoody · 03/11/2014 19:52

Not worth starting a whole new thread for not least because it's probably a silly question but can I just check what a dad would wear to his DD's graduation... It would be a suit, right? (We're really not used to this stuff and don't want to get it wrong. Well, I'm worrying on behalf of DP who would cheerfully get it wrong if left to own devices!)

Many thanks for this and all the other advice ...

OP posts:
BestIsWest · 03/11/2014 19:56

There were all sorts at DD's including jeans and hoodies but most were in suits or at least jackets, collar and tie. DH wore a linen blazer, light coloured trousers and shirt and tie combo.

PS really don't worry and have a good time. It's a lovely day.

MrsJossNaylor · 03/11/2014 21:33

Just to add to the chorus of people saying you should go anyway.

DH and I have a sea of step parents between us, but could only get two tickets for his graduation. The whole gang came for a fabulous day of drinks and photos and a lovely meal,though only the two of us who drew the short straw sat through the bit where hundreds of names were read out. For hours.

Alisvolatpropiis · 03/11/2014 21:36

My dads wore suits op