To take DS (3) out of pre-school?

[Jefferson]

DS just turned 3 2 weeks ago. He immediately began pre-school. He is going because the nursery has a speech and language facility and he was referred due to a speech delay. He has to do 5 days a week,the afternoon session.
It's not going well.
He loved his naps and slept 2 hrs every day (!) which have had to be dropped. He's now ratty and miserable most days/evenings. The most he can do is conk out in front of the tv for ages after preschool which I hate.

He is just a baby to me and the youngest there. He's not great at going to the toilet by himself but he's sort of just left to it. He can't wipe himself properly or even tear off the toilet roll without getting it everywhere. And I've noticed his underwear is a little damp which makes me think he's goingby himself and not wiping.
They treat them quite grown up like children and he's just not like that. His speech is that of a small toddler really and I'm really worried about him.

He is also going to be there for 2 while yrs before he starts school due to his age. It seems like forever and like we have entered the school years already well before his time. He has a uniform and everything!

We can now never do anything or go anywhere or meet up for lunch before or after school as there's no time. It'll be dark by 4 soon!

Should I take him out?
My main issue is the speech and language therapy. He was given a place especially and I don't want them to be angry. I was hoping to 'defer' it until next yr but not sure if they will let me.

What do other people think?

Don't panic about the toileting plan. They're a school, toileting tinies often throws schools a bit, they're not used to it, they work with systems designed for school aged children as those make up the massive majority of their children on site and they're teachers rather than early years people. It just is a short written plan that schools often make for any child who needs support with toileting, that they get parents to help them write and which lists exactly what the child needs an adult to do and how to help, and is then shared with all the staff who might be involved. The idea is to get the support consistent and organised for ds.

That's a positive start!

No clap there won't be a toiletting plan in place. First she will do the strange standing outside the door 'prompting' and if he needs extra help to clean, then there will be a toiletting plan. It was kind of a rushed conversation so I have no idea what that would entail.

I know a few people have suggested nap before and thank you but I can't see it working. He would fight it for sure. I even thought maybe a nap after school at 4 for an hour and later bedtime but I tried it a couple of times and he just wasn't having it!. But tonight he went down quite happily at 6.45.

x-post just read rumble's response. No plan in place as yet. Should I go back in and ask for one? I feel like I'm being a nuisance

Not a nuisance at all, this is a step in the right direction! The plan would be a great idea, it's just about making sure all the staff support him the same way and know what to do for him.

But rumble the op's ds is in preschool, surely they should be geared up for a range of toileting, including those toilet training and still in nappies?

Absolutely they should. In practice, some schools are a lot more confident at it than others and some haven't yet fully got that preschool children are a different ball game to the school aged children and get tired/have care needs! Most are not resistant to it, they just need information on what to do/how to do it if its not something they're used to managing.

Preschools and nurseries specialise entirely in preschool children and most of them don't get for a moment why this would be a problem!