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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To book family holiday over gcse results day in August

93 replies

Claybury · 20/10/2014 17:32

AIBU to deprive DD of going in to school to get them that morning with friends? Presumably she can get them my text the same day via a friend.

OP posts:
PiperIsOrange · 20/10/2014 19:01

Could she stay with a relative/friend if she is really not up to going.

jacks365 · 20/10/2014 19:05

BettyMoody I know exactly what you mean about carnage, I had one do A levels and one doing gcse 2 years ago which was when there was all that fuss about the english results, pretty much all results were down across the board, there were some pretty big shocks that year. I wouldn't trust next years results to not drop again.

BettyMoody · 20/10/2014 19:06

its all at the whim of government.

Original poster
Claybury · 20/10/2014 19:07

Woowoo- she wants to come on the holiday in principle. She's v close to her little brother and we will all have a nice time. so long as DS ( oldest) finds himself an alternative holiday
If the worst should happen and her results are a disaster maybe she'll be glad to be away !

OP posts:
Nomama · 20/10/2014 19:07

Oh dear! As I am one of the staff who has to scrabble through GCSE results I would not recommend being on holiday - just in case. Poor results, exam board errors, school errors, grade boundary changes... and many more possibilities.

Remember, staff who come in for the results do so during their holidays and there is always a Bank Holiday in the mix. So the staff just love a mum or dad phoning and saying "they will be late as we are sunning ourselves in Alicante, OK?". Parents get stressed, and therefore pissy, when their kids results are not processed a whole week after results - like it is my fault!

As an aside, you'd be highly amused at the number of kids and parents who arrive at our FE college without having sent or brought results - "Well you could ask the school for them" or "Why don't you know them, the school/LA has them" etc.

We have kids from all over the UK, this year a parent from the highlands was very terse when explaining that popping home to get the paperwork would take a couple of days. And yes, they had been on holiday and had not read the joining instructions.

BettyMoody · 20/10/2014 19:09

yes - you can really USE the staff at your school to help you out if it goes wrong.

Or enjoy the moment with your mates, if it is ok

HappyAgainOneDay · 20/10/2014 19:10

I submitted a SAE to the school for mine so they were waiting for my return home.

frazmum · 20/10/2014 19:11

YABU. Predicted grades do not mean the same actual results sadly. With DD1 we had to negotiate in person with the school as one result was not high enough (contrary to the school's predicted grade).

We've had 3 years in a row with having to work around August results, have a break this year, but then younger DC's start their exams.

homebythesea · 20/10/2014 19:14

We were away this year and I wish we were not - the results were not as expected and there were unnecessary long distance phone calls at odd hours due to time difference to sort things out for 6th form which added to the upset and disappointment. Whilst you have other DC's to consider this is a one shot thing for your GCSE student so do not belittle the experience and/or the repercussiuons if you are not there to pick up the pieces

WooWooOwl · 20/10/2014 19:16

If she wants to do the holiday and there really is no other choice whatsoever, then I'd let her decide and respect her decision.

If she's close to her younger brother then she will want him to have a holiday too, and won't prevent it from happening unless it's really important to her. But if it is so important to her that she chooses to stay and get her results with her friends, then she will be pleased that her feelings are considered important enough in your family that other will make sacrifices for her as well.

SwedishEdith · 20/10/2014 19:23

I do wonder why schools and colleges don't know the results, tbh? Universities do don't they so there's clearly the IT already available. Anyway, that's an aside.

BettyMoody · 20/10/2014 19:26

they get them the day before -

SlowlorisIncognito · 20/10/2014 19:28

SwedishEdith I would guess it's because there's not really a further education equivalent of UCAS set up at the moment to make sure all the right people get the right results. Due to UCAS, the uni application system is a lot more formalised.

I also think the state vs private divide would cause issues with anyone trying to set up a system to do this.

northernlurker · 20/10/2014 19:31

After my experience this year I wouldn't do this. We booked our fortnight for similar reasons to the OP and dd said she was fine with that. It then got complicated though because she wanted the results the same day. Her school were lovely and scanned them in and e-mailed them to us which was brill but it would have been easier to be here.

needyoumorethanwantyou · 20/10/2014 19:32

It's not an enormous deal for everyone. I couldn't be arsed getting two buses to my School on GCSE result day - I had a summer job which involved a lot of under-age drinking and socialising with an older crowd. I was shagging an older man who I worked with and he was opening my eyes to a lot about life and GCSE results seemed very unimportant really (I knew I'd do well anyway so no major stress about it).

I was going to the same school for 6th form though so I just picked them up on the first day of term. Looking back, I can't believe I was so casual about it but I really didn't care.

I did go and pick up my A-level results when they came out but that seemed much more significant because it was the last day me and the friends I'd had since aged 11 would ever go to the school.

Abra1d · 20/10/2014 19:32

We always go away and the school emails results to us. The only ones we hang around for are A2s, where you might need to see teachers if university plans go awry.

oneearedrabbit · 20/10/2014 19:32

Sounds like you are planning a cottage holiday in the uk; I would say book it then if dd decides she really wants to be there for results day she could take a train or whatever on the Wed to stay with a friend and go in for the results? I have had two who have had results and I think it is a big rite of passage, let alone the drama post results if something is not as predicted. Go for booking the hol for the sake of the rest of the family (and you) but be prepared for multi arrangements mid week, would be my advice.

Nomama · 20/10/2014 19:33

Swedish, that's because a BIG thing called UCAS exists solely to process all applications for University applications. The process, with all its legal implications is abso-bleedin-lutely enormous and expensive. The application process starts more than a year before they want to start Uni - as in most good schools and colleges use the summer term to start the process and set summer homework - go to 2 Open Days, do some research into the egress available in your subject, etc tec.

Colleges don't have a UCAS. Kids don't have to apply prior to turning up (no really, they don't) and don't have to accept a place they have been offered. They can just rock up on enrollment day and ask - or not rock up as they have chosen to go elsewhere.

We don't know, and cannot ask for results as they are data protected. Universities only get results via UCAS as the applicant has completed their application and given permission.

Nomama · 20/10/2014 19:33

egress? degrees...

Weird!

northernlurker · 20/10/2014 19:36

I also don't think there is any need to apologise for being child-orientated in this regard. The kids work astonishingly hard for the good grades. They deserve the world revolving around them that day.

ProudAS · 20/10/2014 19:37

Sounds like her older brother is going to be home. Could DD go with you on the Saturday and get the train home Wednesday?

googoodolly · 20/10/2014 19:39

I was away for my GCSE results and luckily I was fine. I got all my predicated grades and was staying at my school for sixth form so there was no accepting places or rush to find a new school to deal with.

BUT if I hadn't got my grades, I would have been screwed. I couldn't have contacted the school and I probably wouldn't have gotten into sixth form because by the time I returned home, all the local sixth forms were full.

If your DD wants to be at home, I think you need to accomodate that. It's her future on the line and if she needs the reassurance of school/her friends if something goes wrong, it's important she has that. There isn't a big gap between getting results and securing your place - the same day in some places, so be very careful.

MaryWestmacott · 20/10/2014 19:47

As others have said, for most, going getting your results is a rite of passage (yes, some people don't care, but then some people don't care about a lot of things, doesn't mean those who do are wrong, and the ops dd has said she'd prefer to be there, so does care). But more importantly, she needs to be able to access staff help if things have gone wrong.

I would be reluctant to leave her home alone because if her grades go badly wrong, she'll need someone to help her navigate colleges/school 6th form requirements, appeals etc, having you, or another adult there could be crucial, and she'll need emotional support- failed exams seem like the end of the world at the time.

On the other hand, if it all goes right, an empty house on results night? Party at yours for the whole year then!

If you can't find another week you can go away with these other friends then this year it's a no. Do something else for your family holiday. Even a wednesday-Wednesday so you get back the night before.

SwedishEdith · 20/10/2014 19:48

Ah, yes, hadn't really thought about the data protection issue. I hate opening results in front of other people so I'd be glad to get away but agree that if you're in the UK, she could get a train back. It didn't occur to me to have to be at home for my eldest 's results Blush

SadOldGit · 20/10/2014 19:48

we did - DD1 wasn't fussed about her results - til friends started texting their results - we then spent about ages hanging off a balcony in Tenerife to get signal to ring her school!

DS was on an outward bound trip to Scotland for his - we picked up his results and then had to wait til he had enough signal (somewhere up Ben Nevis I believe) so he could get his results

who knows what DD2 will do (7 years off!)