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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find it odd to refer to someone as your "life partner"?

106 replies

HarlowEver · 17/10/2014 19:18

A new guy started at work today and he said something along the lines of he was glad to have got the job as he had recently moved in with his "life partner"

He is straight, as he later referred to his girlfriend.

Would you ever refer to your husband or boyfriend as a "life partner"

OP posts:
Vitalstatistix · 17/10/2014 19:20

No, but I wouldn't give a shit if someone else wanted to refer to theirs that way. Isn't life partner just the same thing as partner? which a lot of people use instead of girlfriend/boyfriend on the grounds that they think that gf/bf sound a bit teenage?

I wouldn't think anything of it, tbh.

SaucyJack · 17/10/2014 19:20

I think if you're in your 70s and you've been with the same person for the past 50 years of that, then life partner is a perfectly reasonable way to describe someone.

Some bird you've just moved in with? Cringe.

ithoughtofitfirst · 17/10/2014 19:21

I find just 'partner' bad enough.

firesidechat · 17/10/2014 19:22

Not a term I would use, but then again I'm married. Isn't it just saying that this is his partner and he can see them being in it for the long term, but they aren't married.

No idea if life partner is a thing because I'm older and seriously out of touch.

WerkSupp · 17/10/2014 19:23

Partner is cringeworthy, too.

Devora · 17/10/2014 19:23

Some people think 'partner' is naff because it sounds like a business arrangement. Some people think 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' is naff if you're over 25. 'Other half' is a bit twee. More complications if you're gay - if I talk about my 'girlfriend' people tend to assume it's a platonic friendship.

So not odd, no. More deprived of satisfactory choices.

Devora · 17/10/2014 19:24

So what terms should us unmarried-but-together-for-20-years couples use?

Original poster
HarlowEver · 17/10/2014 19:25

I should point out he's around 22/23

OP posts:
firesidechat · 17/10/2014 19:25

I don't see why partner is so frowned upon. What else do you call someone you have been with for a long time and live with? Not boyfriend/girlfriend surely?

RancidOldHag · 17/10/2014 19:26

Devora, I think the trad solution is to just refer to him/her by name and preserve a sense of mystery.

firesidechat · 17/10/2014 19:26

Ahh. In that case it's quite sweet. (I can be a bit of an old softy).

Original poster
HarlowEver · 17/10/2014 19:28

I don't find "partner" cringe.

If I was in my late thirties or older I doubt I'd want to call someone my boyfriend.

So what am I suppose to call them?

OP posts:
NuggetofPurestGreen · 17/10/2014 19:30

I used to hate 'partner' but now I am old I like it. Makes me think of how we are partners in life in every context. But would never say life partnerGrin

londonrach · 17/10/2014 19:32

I find partner strange. They either girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband not caring if same sex or different. Partner sounds strange but each to their own. Life partner...really strange....

PiperIsOrange · 17/10/2014 19:33

How About lover.

londonrach · 17/10/2014 19:34

Just asked dh if he call me a life partner and said that a funny thing to say you either a girlfriend or wife.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 17/10/2014 19:37

You can't say boyfriend when you're old and been together 15 years though. Well of course you can but sounds odd to me.

I usually get round it by saying 'my fella' Smile

whois · 17/10/2014 19:37

I don't think partner is cringe. Just sounds a bit formal. But boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't imply much seriousness.

Topaz25 · 17/10/2014 19:38

Maybe he wants to show that even though they are not married, they are committed to spending the rest of their lives together, maybe they don't believe in marriage for some reason. I still think it's a bit unnecessary because partner already implies that it is a serious, long term relationship without having to add anything extra.

Andrewofgg · 17/10/2014 19:40

I think some people use if to avoid confusion with business partner. And some say business partner to make clear that the person mentioned is just that and no more.

NuggetofPurestGreen · 17/10/2014 19:43

Reminds me of father ted

Eurovision man: 'hes my partner'
Ted: 'how long have you been working together?'
EM: no I mean my sexual partner
Ted: 'oh here's my partner Dougal. Not my sexual partner!!!' Grin

RiverTam · 17/10/2014 19:43

partner is ghastly. We all refer to FIL's DP as his girlfriend even though he's in his 70s and she's in her 60s!

Rebecca2014 · 17/10/2014 19:46

What is wrong with partner? I used it and I am 25.

Girlfriend/boyfriend seems so teenage.

windchime · 17/10/2014 19:47

I think it is quite sweet.

Thurlow · 17/10/2014 19:49

deprived of satisfactory choices

Exactly. It's a pain in the arse.

The only thing with partner is it seems to mean different things to different people and over the years I've had a few slightly confused reactions (a teeny minority) that you wouldn't have got if you'd said wife or husband.

I don't mind 'partner' though - you're together, it's a partnership, it's a very sensible word to use.

Hate 'other half' though. And boyfriend at 35 and 14 years in? Bluergh.

On a bad day amongst random people I've even gone straight for 'husband' as it seems easier Blush

I do wish someone would magically come up with a better word for it though...