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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to find it odd to refer to someone as your "life partner"?

106 replies

HarlowEver · 17/10/2014 19:18

A new guy started at work today and he said something along the lines of he was glad to have got the job as he had recently moved in with his "life partner"

He is straight, as he later referred to his girlfriend.

Would you ever refer to your husband or boyfriend as a "life partner"

OP posts:

skylark2 · 17/10/2014 20:35

I think it's just a way of saying "we choose not to be married, but that's the sort of relationship we have."

Girlfriend/boyfriend doesn't sound teenage to me, but it does sound rather temporary.

londonrach · 17/10/2014 20:39

Agree sky..i have patients in their 80s calling someone boyfriend or girlfriend. Does sound temporary. Never ever heard these patients use the word partner. The word lover has never been used by anyone i ever spoken to. Sounds like a miles and boom.

squoosh · 17/10/2014 20:41

'Life partner' is very po-faced. I bet he 'makes love' to his life partner too, definitely nothing as vulgar as a shag.

wooooosualsuspect · 17/10/2014 20:41

I'm not going to call my DP my husband because he's not my husband.

squoosh · 17/10/2014 20:41

I have a 'gentleman caller'.

wooooosualsuspect · 17/10/2014 20:48

I might start calling him my beau.

MammaTJ · 17/10/2014 20:53

I have recently decided since this thread started to call DP, fiance, father of my children well the two youngest anyway partner for now!

That's not too insulting is it? He won't mind, in the same way the 'Current Mrs Wogan' doesn't mind!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/10/2014 20:55

I like boyfriend/girlfriend or lover. I'm married and don't refer to my relationship at all, it's nobody's business. If I'm asked I'll say that I'm married and that's it. I don't much like 'husband', reminds me of animal husbandry...

I've seen posters jumped on for daring to call a boyfriend a 'dp' when they've been together for not long. There's no league table is there? Or set of rules? People seem to take this labelling and naming thing so seriously.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/10/2014 20:56

I like 'Mistress'... sounds less staid.

Back2Two · 17/10/2014 20:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Sylviet · 17/10/2014 21:01

She's more than a girlfriend but she isn't his wife. They aren't engaged.

He wants you to know it isn't a business arrangement.

So he says life partner, so you know he's committed to his current squeeze.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/10/2014 21:03

'Wife' isn't the female apex of a relationship though. There are many people who choose not to marry. It does sound as if there's a bit of a league table somehow.

CundtBake · 17/10/2014 21:03

I also found this to be a problem. I'm young enough to get away with 'boyfriend' I guess but I feel about 15 if I say it out loud. 'Partner' sounds really platonic to me. I also go with 'my fella' but I am common as muck

I had an old aunt who once asked me how my lover was when I was 17. I was mortified! Everyone else thought it was hilarious.

museumum · 17/10/2014 21:04

I would use partner (except i'm married so i don't use it for me) except where it could be misconstrued as business partner in which case I guess life partner would work... but at work, when saying you've moved in with somebody you don't need to specify that you're not talking about a business partner so i'd just use partner.

I probably know as many people with 'partners' than 'spouses' and these range from relationships of a couple of years up to some of a few decades with grown up children. Partner is quite a common word to use among people I know.

Thurlow · 17/10/2014 21:06

What do those people who don't like partner think that people in long-term but unmarried relationships call each other?

squoosh · 17/10/2014 21:12

'Partner' is a good word to use when you're speaking to someone you don't know particularly well and aren't sure if they're gay or straight.

LL12 · 17/10/2014 21:33

The word "Partner" is awful, I had a boyfriend that became a Fiance and then a Husband.

squoosh · 17/10/2014 21:41

Fiancé/fiancée makes my toes curl.

wooooosualsuspect · 17/10/2014 21:42

But my boyfriend never became my husband, what shall I call him?

NuggetofPurestGreen · 17/10/2014 21:45

Well fair enough LL but some of us aren't engaged and have no plans to get married so can't use those terms. I'm sticking with partner. Although I do just use his name if people know what I'm on about!

NuggetofPurestGreen · 17/10/2014 21:45

Or 'me fella'

SeattleGraceMercyDeath · 17/10/2014 21:47

DH used to call me 'she who must be obeyed' before I was his DW

Bartlebee · 17/10/2014 21:49

No, 'life partner' is even worse than the ghastly 'partner'.

I heard someone refer to being in a 'long term marriage' the other day.

wooooosualsuspect · 17/10/2014 21:52

I'm still waiting for the 'partner' haters to tell me what I should call the person I have been in a relationship with for over 30 years.

thatstoast · 17/10/2014 21:54

I know someone who calls her long-term fiance/boyfriend her 'lover'. It's disturbing.

For unmarried people who like partner, how do you decide when you change from boyfriend to partner?

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