To be annoyed when you ask someone to do something and they say 'Can you remind me?'

[Canshopwillshop]

I feel like saying 'no, I've just asked you - it's now your responsibility to remember!'. Example, my DD's friend accidentally took home my DD's school jumper so I texted her mum (a friend of mine) asking her if she could get her DD to bring the jumper into school tomorrow to give back to my DD. Got a txt back saying 'yes, but can you remind me tonight as I'm not at home.' Why should I have to remember to txt again later?? What if I forget - whose fault will it be if she then doesn't remember!

Sorry, I am over-playing it a little but it just got my goat (and I'm a bit hormonal).

YABU. I have a busy and hectic life looking after three people with disabilities, (four in the holidays). I need that reminder, my responsibility doesn't include your family, and she's agreed to do it, just asked you, quite reasonably to remind her, and yes, if you forget later, that's your fault.
Sorry.

With so many people having smartphones these days, there's no excuse for asking someone else to remind them, just put a reminder in your calendar for goodness sake!

Dawndonna - I too have a very busy life. As far as I see it it is her family's responsibility as it was her DD who accidentally took my DD's jumper and needs to return it. They are only 9 so I see that it as the mum's responsibility to ask her DD.

YABU. If something is important to you it should be important enough to remember to remind some one about it (and forgetting to do so will be our fault). I don't think other people should be expected to place the same level of importance on it, especially when they could have a lot going on in their own lives. Plus some people are just forgetful.

YABU. It's in your mind, not in theirs, so give a helpful nudge. No biggie.

You are being massively unreasonable.

Why should I have to remember to txt again later??
Because you want the jumper back.

On second thoughts, if it's ou (her) who's created the issue it should be you (her) who resolves ir. Flip flop!

YABU.

She has nothing to gain from remembering (other than joy of reuniting you with the jumper) so it won't stay at the front of her thoughts.

In this case YANBU - your dd's friend took your dd's cardigan home, therefore it is her responsibility to be bringing it back.

If however you are asking someone a favour, it's not unreasonable to requests you remind them if it's important.

But the op isn't looking for a favour She just wants her purloined jumper back; it's the friend's problem to sort out.

Yanbu.
I hate it.

You should have sent back 'yeah I will do, but can you remind me'

In general terms YABU as if you're asking a favour of someone (ie can you drop my suits into the dry cleaners) then it's your responsibility to remind them (this is basically me never remembering to drop DHs suits off!)

But in the specific example you give, then YANBU, because it was the other family's mistake, so they should resolve the problem.

YANBU.

It is her responsibility to get the jumper back to you. You've asked her and she should set herself a reminder, whether it is a note on her phone or the back of her hand.

So those of you who are saying IABU - if you borrowed something from someone, you are saying you would consider it the other person's responsibility to make sure they got the borrowed item back? Nice outlook!

i hate the "oh will you remind me of that" thing when it's in the other persons best interests, but you want the jumper back, she is admitting to be a scatter-brain, so remind her

or don't

then post another AIBU asking if you're BU to be mad that the mum forget to return the jumper

Sometimes I say this at work...I mean.."feel free to nag me about this I won't be offended" especially if I know it's something that might fall by the wayside. But in the OP' s context it's a bit rude as the friend should,return the jumper ASAP without reminding.

Yanbu, on this occasion, she's got your jumper, it's her responsibilty to return it.

It's like she's absolving herself of responsibilty, if you don't remind her, it will be your fault if she forgets - not fair.

If she was doing you a favour, it would not be so unreasonable to ask you for a quick reminder.

Daddypigs - that's exactly the response I should have given .

Oh, and I agree if I was asking a favour, I would certainly not mind sending a reminder. This mum has done this kind of thing before - its not a one off but it doesn't normally wind me up. Just feeling tetchy today!

yanbu shes taken something of yours and its her responsibility to get it back to you. why should it be your responsibility to chase it

I can't believe more than half so far think You are being unreasonable OP! If you were asking a favour then fair enough but it was her daughter who took sweater so her responsibility to ensure its returned! Agree with pp above - smart phone reminder is the answer; I have a memory like a sieve and have used this function many a time.

YANBU, can't believe anyone thinks otherwise! Obviously if you're asking a favour of someone, it's okay for them to ask you to remind them. But if that thing is clearly their responsibility, then you shouldn't need to remind them (unless they are under 10 and you are their mum).

DH is guilty of this, a lot.

Yanbu. Her DD took the jumper and it is the adult's responsibility to ensure its return. Why should you have to remind her?!

YANBU to want the jumper back.

YAB a bit U not to recognise that your friend is only human, and returning your dd's jumper is unfortunately not at the top of her 'to do' list, and will inevitably get forgotten, as she is now in the happy position of having a spare school jumper, rather than having to use the one that's too small and has ink stains and a mangled sleeve. (I speak from experience!)