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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to believe kesha 100% about being sexualy abused

79 replies

yoofoftoday · 15/10/2014 13:12

Kesha is now taking legal action against the guy that signed her stating sexual abuse.

This is the guy that made wreaking ball, califonia girls and tick tock.

I think this is something that is commonplace by older guys in power abusing 15 y/o girls. Hope the guy gets locked away

OP posts:
ithoughtofitfirst · 15/10/2014 17:44

Hahahahahaha i love sentences that start 'seriously' followed by something fucking comical

PiperIsOrange · 15/10/2014 17:51

Well Michael Jackson was found not guilty, so was the actor from corrie ( don't know his name I think he plays Steve McDonald

PiperIsOrange · 15/10/2014 17:56

So I don't think trail by media is appropriate.

I would rather wait before making judgement.

moaningminnie2 · 15/10/2014 19:30

Are you thinking of Bill Roache .who was accused by 5 women , and it turned out that none oif them had even met him
Or are you thinking of Michael LeVell who was accused of raping a 6 yr old , which also tuned out to be rubbish, despite the tearful testimony given by the woman?

livingzuid · 15/10/2014 19:32

Always found it odd that pharrell wrote and produced that, but didn't get any backlash...

I wondered that too. He got away with no smear to his reputation.

As to the OP, I'd like to try and be open minded but I find it hard to not thing that there wasn't something rather unpleasant going on with those videos and over sexualisation of young women - but we have to wait and see. What is often sad is that these cases seem to fail because of lack of evidence rather than lack of something having actually happened.

As to claiming sexual abuse where there was none I am going to contradict a bit what I said above as DH's aunt did this to his grandad. Horrendous. Fortunately proven to be nothing but you can imagine the schism in the family and the impact it had on him. All because the wife wanted a divorce to run off with her lover and take all the money and manipulated her SN daughter to lie. It does happen but I sincerely hope that is an isolated case!

Either way I hope that both sides get a fair hearing. It can't be easy when there is celeb involved.

Original poster
yoofoftoday · 16/10/2014 08:38

I wondered that too. He got away with no smear to his reputation

I guess that's down to peoples perceptions, I think he did distance himself from it once it started to smell. In a way I think shames him more.

I'd like to keep an open mind, but something was very wrong and this does explain it. Its different as she is the famous one acusing a lesser known person.

OP posts:
mummytime · 16/10/2014 08:53

Actually I think most women (and quite possibly most men) have been sexually abused. But most haven't been abuse to such an extent they would take it to court.
Sexual abuse can be as little as inappropriate touching - a quick grope on a train, in a lift etc.
I would start from the position that anyone saying they had been abused is truthful, and then see if there was anything to undermine that assumption.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 16/10/2014 08:54

Can't belive how anyone here can have any opinion really as none of us have any idea of the evidence.

As said above I really hope, if ever called for jury duty, such ridiculous statements that people never lie about abuseand he looks sleezy
Don't play a part in your thinking.

CundtBake · 16/10/2014 09:01

So does the 'I believe you' campaign only count for cases that aren't going to court?

PiperIsOrange · 16/10/2014 09:06

The 'I believe you' campaign has split me in both directions.

The thing is it believing a women on her so say which if not true then a man life is ruined. Mud sticks and if the sexual abuse is found out not to be true then there will still be people thinking he is a sexual abuser.

Of course I also want to support a women who has be brave enough to open up about her experience regardless if she goes to the police or not.

PiperIsOrange · 16/10/2014 09:12

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2149462/Brian-Banks-One-time-football-star-rape-charge-dismissed-years-prison-accuser-contacts-Facebook-say-happened.html

Like this story of a man who spent 6 years in prison for a rape he never committed.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 16/10/2014 11:25

Think the i believe youcampaign usually refers to children's disclosures.

Of course all allegations need to be vigorously and properly investigated but of course people make false allegations, even children, and of course there are abusers and racists of both sexes.

I am very dubious about prejudice in any form.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 16/10/2014 11:29

Rapists not racists!

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 16/10/2014 11:44

I had to google Kesha.

PurpleSwift · 16/10/2014 14:09

Funnily enough while you assume people are jumping to conclusions with the "sleezy" comment, which was made by me, I have actually met him on two occasions. One with work and once during networking/social events and it's my personal opinion of him. He came across as sleezy.

OwlCapone · 16/10/2014 14:30

The problem I have with "I believe you" is that is works on a "guilty until proven innocent" basis.

I do agree that all accusations should be treated seriously though.

OwlCapone · 16/10/2014 14:33

PurpleSwift the OP said Well the guy is known to be very sleazy and there are plenty of rumors about him. It just all seems to make sense. and does not appear to be basing their opinion on anything other than rumour.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 16/10/2014 14:38

Yes he nat appear sleazy but that fiedbt mean he is or ever had broken the law.

Opinion or even instinct is not fact.

A huge huge miscarriage of justice csn occur when people base their decisions on anything other than facts.

PurpleSwift · 16/10/2014 14:41

I'm aware of that OC.
I was just stating that I was my opinion, also.
I think it's silly to assume that someone's opinion off the top of their head is also the same way they'd approach jury duty.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 16/10/2014 14:44

The Orkney child abuse cases were a point where false allegations of ritual abuse led to 9 children being taken by social workers with no evidence, proof or facts simply they felt the children had been abused.

You have to deal in facts in all cases and not come to the investigation believing one party or the other.

A much better head line would be we will listen to you not we will believe you

Original poster
yoofoftoday · 16/10/2014 14:46

I've never met him, but I know a 2 people in the industry that have. I'm saying I trust them and find what kesha is saying very plausible.

Rolf Harris was know about by many people in the industry also.

OP posts:
Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 16/10/2014 14:46

Not really sure it's something you should be saying on the internet really either. Not sure on the law here but a tad suprised the thread is still running.

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 16/10/2014 14:47

Granted but Rolf has been found guilty by a trial. This guy has not.

Original poster
yoofoftoday · 16/10/2014 15:29

We are fine to talk about it, its not a UK case and those (outdated) laws don't exist.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 16/10/2014 15:55

I believe her. Most people don't lie about this sort of thing, she's had an eating disorder, which is something that is sometimes co-morbid, the music industry is repulsive and I see no reason for her to make it up.

I could be on a jury because the fact that he probably did it doesn't mean he does not have the right to a fair trial and I would need him to be guilty BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT, which is not the same as 'probably'. Our system is designed to set guilty people free rather than jail innocent ones. Believing her doesn't preclude that.