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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset over lack of birthday card...

55 replies

CheeseAndBeans · 15/10/2014 07:32

So, today it's my birthday, not a special one but the first as a mummy - my DD is 10 months old. My DP forgot to get me a card from her! Feel really upset, I know it's only a card but it was my first chance to get a "happy birthday mummy" card. Have told him I am upset- I was actually in tears, couldn't help it, now he feels really bad. AIBU to be in a mood with him? We have a lovely family day planned, but now am just in a bad mood that I can't shift!!

OP posts:
ithoughtofitfirst · 15/10/2014 07:35

Did you drop loads of hints that that would make your day?

Just asking cause IME people can't read minds.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 15/10/2014 07:36

Did he get you a card?

bedraggledmumoftwo · 15/10/2014 07:36

From himself i mean

Original poster
CheeseAndBeans · 15/10/2014 07:37

No, I didn't. But on his birthday I got him one from her, complete with cute paint handprint. Just thought it would go without saying really...

OP posts:
LadyLuck10 · 15/10/2014 07:37

How do you both usually celebrate birthdays?

londonrach · 15/10/2014 07:37

Happy birthday op. I understand how you feel but men dont think like that and hes not a mindreader. Just think in a few years your dd will be making you birthday cards. Enjoy your special day and dont let this upset you anymore xxx

Original poster
CheeseAndBeans · 15/10/2014 07:37

Yes. Card from him, and lovely presents.

OP posts:
Artandco · 15/10/2014 07:39

You do realise it's 7.30am? Maybe he was planning to get her to do something today whilst you were out?

Optimist1 · 15/10/2014 07:39

He didn't know it was expected of him! With a bit of luck he won't make the same mistake again. Give him a hug and don't spoil the day ahead with tears or sulking. Happy Birthday to you.

ithoughtofitfirst · 15/10/2014 07:42

What optimist said. Try and have a nice day. Tell him there's still time for him to get you one and how much it would mean to you to have as a keepsake.

Original poster
CheeseAndBeans · 15/10/2014 07:46

Thanks. I know it's not the end of the world, just can't help but feel disappointed and a bit upset! He wasn't planning anything - told me he totally forgot.

OP posts:
Wailywaily · 15/10/2014 07:49

Not unreasonable to be upset, but you have made your point now. I think it would be unreasonable to stay in a mood and let it ruin your day.
Happy birthday Flowers

beepbeep · 15/10/2014 07:50

I have 3 DCs, my DH used to make that mistake. Now I send him & the kids to my favourite shop (not expensive!!) the weekend before my birthday so they get chance to help choose something. I've had some interesting things (??!) but I know my DCs have helped choose!

Itsfab · 15/10/2014 07:50

Bollocks to men don't think like that. SOME men do.

YANBU, firsts are so special when you have a baby and it is lovely to get your first Mummy card. You shouldn't have to remind him but hopefully he won't forget again. I expect the shops are open today so I would be making it clear there is time to rectify his memory loss.

KERALA1 · 15/10/2014 07:51

Make sure you "forget" his too. I get so fed up of women facilitating all the nice things in life (birthdays, Christmas, PTA stuff) yet it's not done for us. Fuck that.

JustAShopGirl · 15/10/2014 07:57

Happy Birthday!

never even thought it was a "thing" to get a card from a 10 month old baby.... I got cards when they were old enough to choose or make one... same for DH.

dexter73 · 15/10/2014 08:00

Yanbu to be upset about it but ywbu to let it ruin your whole day. You have told him now so he knows for the future. I wouldn't make him go to the shop and buy you one either as it wouldn't mean much. Enjoy your day with your lovely dh who has bought you presents and a card and your lovely dd who will soon be making you all sorts of interesting cards and pictures!

ftmsoon · 15/10/2014 08:05

This happened to me on Monday, my first as a mummy and DD is 5 months. I said to DH that I had been looking forward to a Happy Birthday Mummy card and he said he thought it was a bit ridiculous. He's not normally rubbish so I see his point of when she can add her scribble name, he will make sure she does.
(Of course for Father's Day, he got a card and present from her at 8weeks!)

GnomeDePlume · 15/10/2014 08:06

never even thought it was a "thing" to get a card from a 10 month old baby.... I got cards when they were old enough to choose or make one... same for DH.

I agree. DH and I make sure that DCs (now teenage) dont forget birthdays but never did cards from babies (would have thought it a bit cringeworthy really)

Delphiniumsblue · 15/10/2014 08:06

I can see you were disappointed but since the baby hasn't a clue it really doesn't matter. Just wait until the baby can really share it.

JustSpeakSense · 15/10/2014 08:09

Happy birthday! Flowers

If this was so important (that it has actually made you cry) you should have reminded him before hand.

Please don't let this spoil you day, in a few years your house will be overflowing with kids arts and crafts, homemade presents, cards & pictures (more than you'll be able to store!) Wink

Original poster
CheeseAndBeans · 15/10/2014 08:32

Thanks all, I know she doesn't have a clue, and it's not the end of the world. He did Mother's Day, and Christmas. Just thought he would today too. He feels bad, we have a day out planned - so will use this to my advantage when it comes to shopping!
Won't let it ruin my day.

OP posts:
Fudgeface123 · 15/10/2014 08:46

DP and I buy each other birthday cards from the dog Blush and I'd be upset if he forgot, so yes I see why you're upset.

we don't have kids

answerthebloodyphone · 15/10/2014 08:49

YANBU to be upset but YABU to expect him to know you wanted a card from her.

Did you tell him? Drop him any hints?

pictish · 15/10/2014 08:54

He bought you a card and lovely presents, yet here you are focusing on the one little thing he didn't do?

I'm so glad you're not going to let it ruin your day. Be brave now.