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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just want to cry / give her away!!!

52 replies

curiousgeorgie · 14/10/2014 22:34

When DD2 was born it was hard. She was the worst eater, sleeper, constantly cried and made our lives a misery.

It lasted until about a month ago.

We have just got back from Florida (Sunday) and its actual hell. She has been up from around now until 6am each day and I can't cope.

DD1 (4) is jet lagged too, but has to be in school nursery every morning. DH is amazing but is starting a new job this week and really can't go in knackered.

I feel like I might die.

OP posts:
HumblePieMonster · 14/10/2014 22:36

I don't have the experience to offer advice. Sending lots of positive thoughts.

Could you get someone in to look after the baby so you can have a night's sleep?

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/10/2014 22:37

I know my title sounds melodramatic but I'm so bloody tired. I had 24 months of this before we went away and now I feel like I've ruined her routine for a holiday and I'm gutted...

OP posts:
Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/10/2014 22:37

14, not 24...

OP posts:
Isabeller · 14/10/2014 22:39

Something like night nannies to help for a couple of nights?

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/10/2014 22:39

Humble pie - I usually ask my mum but sadly my grandfather is in the end stages of COPD and I can't bother her.. I'd like to visit him myself if it wasn't for this child!!!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 14/10/2014 22:40

Everything seems so much worse when you're exhausted Sad

But I'm sure you haven't ruined her routine and this will pass Thanks

AuditAngel · 14/10/2014 22:41

DS was a rubbish sleeper. 10 months of un diagnosed silent reflux.

Apart from a dummy, the only thing that got me through his first year was a take along swing. When we got to a stage like this I would put him in it, music on the lowest setting, lights on and go to bed.

If he was upset he could cry for me, but it gave me a short break.

Don't beat yourself up.

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/10/2014 22:41

Thanks, I'll have a look.

She's just writhing around and trying to fall off the sofa and sobbing. Nothing makes her happy.

I'm so sick of this.

OP posts:
AuditAngel · 14/10/2014 22:42

Actually, we used it until he was about 2 as he was diddly. DD1 used it too, replaced it when it died, 2nd one lasted for DD2.

LegoLady95 · 14/10/2014 22:43

it took my kids and me 2 weeks to get over the jet lag on returning from mexico. sorry that probably doesn't make you feel much better now but I mean it will end!

PiperIsOrange · 14/10/2014 22:43

Could you DH have the DC when he gets in from work and you sleep until 11ish.

Failing that give dd2 red bull and coffee to stay awake in the day< joke>

puntasticusername · 14/10/2014 22:47

This is a really really shit time, and I'm sorry. It will pass. It will pass.

If I can stick my oar in a moment...will you try and arrange things such that you can visit your Grandad soon? It sounds as if there may not be many more opportunities and hard as it is, it may be worth you making a bit of a superhuman effort, if you possibly can, to get there at this time?

Sorry if this isn't welcome, and very best wishes Thanks

cheerupandhaveaglassofwine · 14/10/2014 22:51

Stick with it, things will get better, may not seem like it now but they will

Awks · 14/10/2014 22:53

Oh heck you poor knackered thing. Florida is bad enough without small kids. It will pass and it absolutely does get better but all we can do is say poor you.

Hopingforpeace · 14/10/2014 22:59

I feel your pain. Dd1 just didn't seem to need sleep. She would sleep from 5am-8am and a couple of hour long naps in the day. Until she was 16 months. She only started properly sleeping through in July. She is 3.6yo now.
I completely understand why sleep deprivation is a recognised torture technique. It is a killer .
I hope she gets over it in time for you to see your grandad.
We have a swing too . It is back in use with dd2 but not quite so needed. Dd1 still has her dummy at night, I can't face taking it from her now that she is sleeping better.

agoodbook · 14/10/2014 23:01

could you try a baby wrap/sling ( improvise with large pashmina ?) and lay back in a reclining chair and footstool -you could doze then with a dvd on- drastic I know....

ChippingInLatteLover · 14/10/2014 23:06

Can you afford a night nanny who will sleep train?

MrsCakesPrecognition · 14/10/2014 23:19

DS didn't sleep until he was nearly three. We eventually compromised on my going to sleep on a blow up mattress on the floor by his bed. I got just enough sleep to function and he did his thing in a silent, dark, boring room.

Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/10/2014 23:24

I bought swings. The graco sweet peace and the mamaroo, borrowed a sea sounds one from a friend but they're all just 5 minute wonders..

She hates slings.

She has a milk allergy as a baby which made her worse but now she's having purées and solid foods with just a small amount of formula. (Nutrimigen)

I thought we'd cracked it as she started to sleep through before we went away... But this is worse than ever..

DH is up and with her now because I just tried putting her down and she retaliated by throwing herself back and hitting her head on the cot bars.

The screaming is ridiculous.

I can't take it. I might have to go outside. I feel like it is attacking my nervous system.

She's woken up DD1 and now she's crying too. Amazing.

OP posts:
Original poster
curiousgeorgie · 14/10/2014 23:26

MrsCakes - that must've been awful. Last night I put DD1's big stuffed dog (the pink toys r us one) across the floor by the cot and tried to doze on that. But it doesn't matter if I'm in there or not. She cries just the same.

My neighbours hate us.

OP posts:
Missdread · 14/10/2014 23:37

Oh OP you have my sympathies! I had two like this and it is hell. Whenever they were awake they were crying. They wouldn't go off and the tiniest creak of a floorboard would wake them. I hated it. I hated them at times, it's just so miserable. In the end we left them both to scream it out, put earplugs in and left a white noise (on a mobile phone) in the cot to get them to sleep through. It was horrible but it DOES work after 2-3 nights and once they realise you're not coming in til morning they just settle themselves. Might be worth a shot? This doesn't help through the day when they're fussing and crying though..... for that you need lots of cake and keep telling yourself it will pass. I promise you it will. My horrors are now 4 and 6 but those days still give me the shudders to think about them. Big hugs and be good to YOURSELF first. Don't feel guilty about leaving her in a cot where she's safe and taking yourself away for 10 minutes. There is also a super phone line called CrySis that I used to ring a lot. Good luck x

enriquetheringbearinglizard · 14/10/2014 23:38

Please Georgie, breathe.
You're in a horrible situation and it sounds like you feel everyone and everything's conspiring against you all Sad

First up, DDs are struggling too. The whole family is at sixes and sevens with jetlag and changes in routine.
This now feels like your life, but it won't last. Really it wont.

Writhing, throwing herself around and sobbing sounds likes DD2 isn't comfortable at all? could it be a wind or stomach problem do you think?
Really don't mean to oversimplify but one of mine had recurrent ear infection problems and it took me a while to work that out.
Perhaps run some ideas by the HV? My screamer was soothed lying face down across my lap.

However desperate you feel now, you will come through it, I promise.

Missdread · 14/10/2014 23:40

www.cry-sis.org.uk

TheannamoLeelu · 14/10/2014 23:46

Has her diet changed much on holiday? Are you sure she doesn't have an intolerance to something else? Maybe take her to docs to get checked out. Worth eliminating that possibility.

Kaza1 · 14/10/2014 23:48

Curious l totally feel ur pain my second was the exact same & nearly drive me to the brink. It will pass....sounds like reflux have u tried an amby baby amazing invention? U need to try & get someone to watch her & get some shut eye.....so much harder asking people to watch a difficult baby l know. Just remember it will pass......sleep deprivation is used as a tortue method so don't beat yourself up too much. sending loads isn't sleepy vibes your way xx