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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take a sickie / lie about childcare issues?

73 replies

Mammanat222 · 14/10/2014 14:14

Will keep it as brief as possible.

Although I have annual leave left (and a week in November booked off) I really need to take a few days off asap. We're moving house and there is a lot of work that needs to be done, OH needs a few solid days in there. [OH is currently looking after DS as our childcare is away]

I loathe to take a sickie but we've all been told no more annual leave at present.

So I could take a few days off and blame "childcare" and then offer to use my leave? Or I could actually say I am ill and save my leave?

I am not keen on doing either to be honest - worried I'll be tempting fate - but something has to give.

We are paying two rents until we move to new place, have no-one else to have DS in daytime for next few weeks? AIBU to take a sickie or pull the childcare excuse?

Just to add I have been with my company for 13 years, have an exemplary attendance / punctuality record which I pride myself on.

Also I am 6 months pregnant and worry about actually getting ill and needing to take time off?? Or DS being ill as we're getting to that time of year?

OP posts:

MyFairyKing · 14/10/2014 14:17

YABU, lies always come back to haunt you.

Bowlersarm · 14/10/2014 14:18

I'm sorry OP but I hate lies like that.

whitechocolatestars · 14/10/2014 14:22

I couldn't live with myself and if you get found out, the 13 years hard work you've put into your exemplary record will all have gone to waste.

I would tell them the childcare issue and ask if I could work from home for a few days. Can you do that if they're flexible to you working in the evening etc or perhaps there's another arrangement you could come to?

Asking is better than lying.

DaisyFlowerChain · 14/10/2014 14:22

Don't lie, it's never good and if caught out you'll have damaged the relationship with your employer.

Can you not just pay a sitter to free up your OH? Does your usual CM not recommend a replacement whilst she's away?

PrivateJourney · 14/10/2014 14:22

Hmm. I think, if you do it, no-one would believe you anyway, knowing that you're moving house.

Is it possible to have a quiet word? Might they treat your house move as special circumstances and allow the leave after all?

NamesNick · 14/10/2014 14:23

liar liar pants on fire

dont see a few white lies causing much harm. just try go make sure you are contactable in case work need you.

no biggie imo

Original poster

Mammanat222 · 14/10/2014 14:24

Yep I feel the same way, hate telling lies!

But surely a ban on annual leave isn't fair? I am talking about 2 days?

Back to the drawing board. OH is currently looking after DS all day then working 6pm - Midnight on our new place but he can't do anything noisy?

Nothing is ever simple is it?

OP posts:

googoodolly · 14/10/2014 14:26

YABVU. No matter how good your attendance record, you would possibly get disciplined if you were caught pulling a sickie or lying about childcare. It's not worth it, and if you're moving house, your bosses will put two and two together and you could get in a LOT of trouble.

Can't you hire a babysitter for DS, or can a relative or neighbour have him for a while?

Original poster

Mammanat222 · 14/10/2014 14:26

CM is a family member, absence was scheduled - hence my OH being off work. It's the house move that has been sudden and unexpected.

We are already paying 2 rents, cannot afford a sitter as well (and don't want to go through the hassle of settling LO with someone new)

OP posts:

redskybynight · 14/10/2014 14:27

Why is there a ban on annual leave? Busy time of year? If it's only 2 days, why not ask to see if you can have it? IF they say no, see if there is a way you can work round it (depending on your job, can you work in the evenings)

googoodolly · 14/10/2014 14:28

Xpost. Lots of companies ban or restrict annual leave - retail aren't allowed any over Christmas, for example.

It sucks, I know. If your bosses are reasonable, could you ask to work from home or to work the weekend/overtime instead?

bearleftmonkeyright · 14/10/2014 14:28

Op, you really are the only one who can make the choice. Can you offer to work extra hours over a fortnight to cover the time. If you feel comprised I would just try and find a solution rather than lying.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 14/10/2014 14:28

Have you actually spoken to your boss and asked if you can take leave? They may waive the ban if you explain your circumstances.

Original poster

Mammanat222 · 14/10/2014 14:28

Family and friends all work, only ones that don't have a few kids of their own so are doing the school runs / don't have the ability to take on a toddler.

Sorry I am not being difficult, I have explored the other avenues! The sickie was a last resort.

OP posts:

mrsminiverscharlady · 14/10/2014 14:29

I think it would be OK to say you're got childcare problems and take a couple of days that way, because actually you have got childcare problems- your dh can't look after him because he had to go and sorry out the house (although can't he to this at the weekend?)

justkeeponsmiling · 14/10/2014 14:29

I sympathise with your problem but I think YABVVU.
I have 3 DCs and DH and I work ft with very little family support but we would never pull a sickie for childcare reasons, it's just not on. You could do what you suggested and tell work you are struggling and need to take time off as I think you have valid reasons but you really shouldn't lie to your employer and colleagues.
Fwiw a colleague of mine moved house a couple of months ago and phoned in sick with a cold a few days before the move. Conveniently she had booked leave for after the move but was due to work in the days leading up to it. A cold - yeah right! We were not impressed.
People are not stupid!

momb · 14/10/2014 14:29

I'd go in to work, explain and come to some arrangement: do 3 hours each morning, freeing your DH to do work on the house every afternoon/evening, and you do more work in the evening from home to make up the hours? As long as you can get your work done remotely something must be possible.

NamesNick · 14/10/2014 14:30

don't understand why you need permission.

take the sickie if its your only option

PrivateJourney · 14/10/2014 14:37

Would they allow you to move the November leave and take it now? Then you could take Parental leave in November.

CedricBloomer · 14/10/2014 14:49

Just do it.

Who can prove that you're not ill?!

Of course none of the saints on Mumsnet have never rang in sick unless it has been a life or death matter. No point in asking on here. I would just do it.

redskybynight · 14/10/2014 14:59

There is nothing saintlike about

not wanting to lie
treating your job/employer in a professional way
not wanting to dump on colleagues (who will have to pick up the slack)
not wanting to get a bad reputation as the one who is unreliable

minipie · 14/10/2014 15:02

Tricky, I wouldn't pull a sickie, but I also think it's unfair for them to say no annual leave at present.

Why have they put a ban on annual leave? Is there a good reason?

Either way I think it's a much better idea to be up front and say "I really need to take annual leave next week, sorry bad timing but I really can't avoid it due to childcare/house move" than to take a sickie

in other words it's better to take annual leave despite the leave ban rather than to pull a sickie.

museumum · 14/10/2014 15:06

I wouldn't lie. I'd go and say you really really need to take some leave for family reasons and I'd offer to take unpaid leave to get round the AL ban.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 14/10/2014 15:08

Op do you have any genuine pregnancy related illness? Then it wouldn't affect your leave record...

Original poster

Mammanat222 · 14/10/2014 15:24

I have had to have a few extra scans due to potential problems (thankfully all pretty much ruled out now, although I will be having regular growth scans) I have had to take 2 and 3 hours off respectively for my last 2 appointments so really don't want to use any "pregnancy related" excuses.

Annual leave is "banned" due to a final push to reach our monthly targets.

My manager - who I have worked with since day dot - has barely taken any leave this year due to our workload.

Colleague however had 2 week leave, was back for a week and has been off sick for 2 days. This has been the catalyst as it makes me feel a little bit peeved that I am slogging away trying to juggle so many things at once and maybe I just need to do what I need to do for a change?

OP posts:

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