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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hope my boss catches this bug?

133 replies

catgirl1976 · 13/10/2014 19:59

I am not often ill and generally have a good sickness record at work.

However, 2 weeks ago I got proper, full on flu and had to have a week off. It was grim.

When I went back into work my boss glared at me and blanked me for a day, making it clear how annoyed he was that I was not in. No "how are you" or anything like that. I also heard he had been kicking off about it to other people.

He told me it was very inconvenient. It was pretty damn inconvenient to me too. I have a small child and it's not like I get to take to my bed like a Victorian heroine when ill or have anyone to mop my brow and feed me peeled grapes Hmm

This weekend DS (nearly 3) has D&V all weekend. DPs have had a stomach bug the previous weekend and it looks like they have passed it to him. So I've spent the weekend cleaning up projectile vomit and poo.

I wake up about 4am with terrible stomach cramps, vomiting and the rest. I feel terrible and spend the night on the bathroom floor.

Knowing how my manager feels I drag myself into work. I have a fever, am shaking, sweating and on 6 occassions have to run from a meeting with him to puke.

He then tells me "lets aim for lunchtime, then you can go home". Thanks.

At lunchtime, he lets me go home and says that he is pleased I dragged myself and he feels his attitude to me when I cam back from having the flu has helped me. Like he is making me be a better person or something and dragging yourself in when clearly ill and likely infectious is a good thing. Hmm

He keeps banging on the he hasn't been ill since 1985. Good for you. I have a son at nursery and a DH who has just started college and it's Winter. I've had flu, my immune system is low and now I have another bug. Sorry. Hmm If only I could be more like him.

Anyway, I left at lunchtime and have carried on shivering, puking and feeling like crap. He's made it very clear he expects to see me tomorrow.

AIBU to really hope I have given him this bug and he spends a week feeling like this? Not very kind of me I know, but......

OP posts:
Original poster
catgirl1976 · 13/10/2014 20:44

Biological warfare it is :)

It's actually making me feel a little more cheerful

OP posts:
TimeForAnotherNameChange · 13/10/2014 20:50

If you can get to work without using public transport then I'd seriously do it!

tarkawithaparka · 13/10/2014 20:57

What an absolute twonk. Seriously though, I hope you feel better soon op Thanks

LemonDrizzleTwunt · 13/10/2014 20:57

Perhaps attend the meeting with your own body weight in supplies of Lemsip, tissues, Vicks etc. wear a scarf and make sure your nose is a red as possible, and your eyes are streaming. Everyone else in the meeting will be horrified, especially at the thought of catching something, and when they start asking if you're ok you can go into generous and unabashed detail about your symptoms. Finish with "oh, but [twatboss] didn't think I was very ill and that I ought to suck it up and come to the meeting. Please excuse the coughing though, I hope you don't catch anything."

Wink
DanyStormborn · 13/10/2014 21:06

Seriously you have to give him the bug - for you and all people, who do and will in the future work for him. You can only spread D&V bugs by contact with the offending fluids, usually through improper hand washing. Plan accordingly.

antimatter · 13/10/2014 21:08

We in our office hate ppl who are sick and come to work to spread their germs.
he is an idiot (but some folks never catch any bugs!)

Inertia · 13/10/2014 21:14

Take your own sick bucket to the board meeting and explain that you've been warned not to have any more time off, but as you've had so much projectile vomit practice your aim is reasonably accurate, so the rest of the attendees are only really at risk from any of the virus travelling through the air as aerosol vomit. Isn't your bosses zero tolerance of illness policy making everyone feel a warm glow?

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 13/10/2014 21:19

Your boss sounds like a fuckwit.

Hope you're better soon, but not before Mr Fuckwit shits himself in his car on the way home.

Timeforabiscuit · 13/10/2014 21:19

Don't bother with the mug.

You need to target the mouse and the telephone, and bring in a box of very sugary sticky doughnuts (hide the hand sanitizer).

Whistles innocently ...

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 13/10/2014 21:19

Make him a cup of tea and go to work on it, lick the spoon, cough, sneeze and if you need to vomit, aim it in his direction, just to give the others a good laugh.

Hope he gets D & V and shits so much that his arse burns.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 13/10/2014 21:20

Oh and sneeze in your hand and touch everything on his desk, especially the phone, thats a hotspot for germs.

wantstolickwilliamgraham · 13/10/2014 21:20

Send him this from the NHS page:

If you have norovirus (most likely cause of severe D&V), avoid direct contact with other people and preparing food for others until at least 48 hours after your symptoms have disappeared. You may still be contagious, even though you no longer have sickness or diarrhoea.

After spitting in his coffee.

Do not go into work, send this email to him and copy it to the higher ups after you've called in tomorrow.

Dear X,

I'm just following up the telephone call from today to confirm that I'm still unwell with Norovirus.

I attempted to work yesterday due to the appalling treatment I received after a week of sickness in flu whereby I was ignored, glared at and told that I was 'inconveniencing'. I did not appreciate being patronised and told yesterday that this attitude had given me a better work ethic in regards to sickness, I especially didn't appreciate it when I was still so ill.

I will not be in until my symptoms have gone, I expect not to be subjected to such treatment on my return and expect a professional return to work interview instead.

I refer you to the NHS guidelines which state: "If you have norovirus, avoid direct contact with other people and preparing food for others until at least 48 hours after your symptoms have disappeared. You may still be contagious, even though you no longer have sickness or diarrhoea."

Regards

Pissed off employee

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 13/10/2014 21:24

Reminds me of when my ex worked as a Baker for Tesco, he had to go in with the flu, D & V, kinda gross considering he was handling fresh food.

FishRabbit · 13/10/2014 21:24

Please vomit all over the board meeting! Like over the table, onto everyone's laptops/notes. PLease keep us updated on his activities, with any luck he'll poo himself at work.

ChippingInLatteLover · 13/10/2014 21:27

I wouldn't go in.

I'd email all the others, but I would happily go to the expense of sending him a handwritten sneezed on, coughed on, hands wiped on note apologising.

What an absolute wanker.

Time for a new job I think!!

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 13/10/2014 21:27

I'm now picturing a Little Britain style vom-fest in the board room

I love that e-mail, but I am too chicken to send it Blush

OP posts:
ChippingInLatteLover · 13/10/2014 21:28

But if you do go in, do as others have suggested and tell everyone why you are there and all the better if you can only make it as far as his lap when you throw up.

ProudAS · 13/10/2014 21:35

I can't believe the suggestion to stir bosses' coffee with a contaminated spoon!!!

The temperature of the drink will kill the virus FGS! Wipe it on his sandwiches OP.

DrCoconut · 13/10/2014 21:39

I hate this presenteeism that goes on. I had a fortnight off with flu and a secondary infection last winter. I had soldiered on for a bit not feeling great but then it got the better of me. My manager wanted to know why I hadn't gone in to collect some work to do at home or at least sent a relative to get some. I was literally barely able to get out of bed for half that time and ordered not to work by the doctor for the second week to give myself time to recover. No relatives other than DH and the DC would go anywhere near me in case they caught it! Ultimately nothing could really happen as I had a sick note but I was given a warning for absenteeism. So, I hope your boss does get the D&V. Please keep us updated.

ProudAS · 13/10/2014 21:42

Let us have the gory details of how you gave it to him as well.

CornChips · 13/10/2014 21:45

I am posting just to mark my place, because I want an absolutely delicious update in - what - 3 days time? (That is the right sort of incubation period, I think).

hiccupgirl · 13/10/2014 21:45

Please, please make sure you breathe on his sandwiches or lick his mouse.

I'm just getting over a delightful D&V big that my DS brought home from school last week. I wouldn't normally wish it on anyone cos it was grim but in his case he deserves every single bout of sickness.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 13/10/2014 21:47

I promise to update you all :)

OP posts:
Minikievs · 13/10/2014 21:53

Ha ha ha MaryBerry wins with a teaspoon up the bum! Genius!

Ir1na · 13/10/2014 22:46

As you've already had a week off, tell the twat manager that you've just got back from a trip to West Africa. (Too far?)

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