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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was my DDs imaginary friend a ghost?

247 replies

MrsDylanThomas · 12/10/2014 11:12

The time of year for such a thread but anyway...!

My DD is now 6 but when she was just 2.5/under age 3 she had an imaginary friend called William. Very young to have an imaginary friend IMO. For a period of about 3 weeks she spoke to William, 'read' books to him and if we were in the park she would stop and say 'C'mon William! Hurry up' whereas she was talking to thin air.

All very normal imaginary friend behaviour.

But one evening around this time, I asked her where was William? I was kind of joking. I remember we were sitting together on the couch before bedtime and she said 'William has gone to college where he lives'.

Turns out my husband's grandfather was called William (they called him Billy) and he worked in the accounts department of a university.

I asked her about him the other day as was thinking about it and she said she often talks to him at bedtime of if she's worried about anything. She's a happy, sociable and clever child so don't think it's anything to worry about.

But I just think William is a name she didn't hear in crèche, or in stories and I didn't think she knew the word 'college' at that age.

Her other imaginary friend was called Alice. I thought it was from Alice in wonderland but (chillingly) my husband's granny was called Alice! Shock

Sorry to spoke you out mumsnetters. Am I filling in gaps or AIBU? Love to hear your thoughts!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 12/10/2014 20:16

Sleep paralysis hallucinations can also occur.

raltheraffe · 12/10/2014 20:17

Sleep paralysis hallucinations are terrifying. Had it twice in my life, horrible, left me freaked out for hours.

DiaDuit · 12/10/2014 20:18

I'll recap.

When i'm very tired or stressed i get visions and sound of animals in my room. It happens just as i'm falling to sleep but not quite awake or asleep. They are all black animals. A bat flying around my room. A spider crawling across the pillow to my face. A black cat entering the room and weaving it's way through my clothes on the rail- the clothes moved, and a black rat scuttling around the floor. I have also seen my ceiling covered in spider webs and my door opening . As i said, sound accompanies all these. It feels very real but i've caught on now that it is just my brain so i shake my head and wake myself up properly.

I have no illness or medication, no drugs etc.

DiaDuit · 12/10/2014 20:20

Xpost. So you acknowledge this is just a figment of my brain. Why so sure this isnt what is happening with all these other 'visions' of 'ghosts'?

Bowlersarm · 12/10/2014 20:20

Oh yuk, I'd rather see ghosts tbh.

raltheraffe · 12/10/2014 20:21

yes dia, my only explanation for that is they are hypnagogic hallucinations. Hypnagogic hallucinations occur when you are moving from wake to sleep, and hypnopompic when you are waking up.

raltheraffe · 12/10/2014 20:21

it is totally normal and not indicative of any illness

DiaDuit · 12/10/2014 20:24

I know its normal. I'm not worried i am ill or seeing ghosts. What i am asking is, if you can acknowledge the existence of this recognised state of consciousness why are you so sure that what other people have 'seen' isnt the same thing or a variation of it.

raltheraffe · 12/10/2014 20:26

Hang on, at what point did I say ghosts exist?

I never did.

I said I had experienced 2 ghostly phenomena and there was the creepy thing with my son and that grave.

All very creepy but none of the above is proof ghosts exist.

I am fascinated by psychology and parapsychology. However that is not because I believe in ghosts. It is because it fascinates me how people (including me) have perceived ghostly phenomena. It could just be that ghosts do exist, but it is far more likely to have some neuroscientific/psychological explanation.

DiaDuit · 12/10/2014 20:27

Today 20:20 Bowlersarm

Oh yuk, I'd rather see ghosts tbh.

Is that because you find the idea of a ghost comforting?

Why would a real ghost on your bed (if we are saying they are real) be better than an illusion of a spider?

raltheraffe · 12/10/2014 20:28

A real ghost could be nice, if it was a deceased loved one that you missed.

Littlehomebird · 12/10/2014 20:28

When my son was around 2 years old we went a walk to our local cemetery . He was at that stage- in the buggy, out the buggy, back in the buggy! I let him out to toddle just inside the cemetery gates. He looked to his left where there was a downwards grassy slope surrounded by a stone wall. He was awfully pleased to see someone (who I couldn't see!), big smiles and a wave, small skippy steps. His reactions were almost as if he were watching other little children at play & he wanted to join in. It only lasted a minute or so then he was happy to toddle along side me. There was nothing scary about it as he was smiling. He's 18 now and has no recollection of this atall.

DiaDuit · 12/10/2014 20:28

Ahh well i've completely misinterpreted your posts then raltheraffe because i thought you were saying that they do exist.

EBearhug · 12/10/2014 20:31

I quite like that altered consciousness when I'm really, really tired, but not quite asleep, and my mind just drifts about between reality and the imagination, and it's not quite possible to be sure what's real and what's not. (Though I also know if I get to that sort of state, I probably need to do something about my stress levels and insomnia.)

raltheraffe · 12/10/2014 20:34

No. I told the creepy story about my son as I thought this was a woo thread around Halloween.

I have seen 2 "ghosts". One was a WW2 pilot (well it had that type of uniform on) and one was my granddad (who scared me enough when he was alive).

I find it fascinating. I think the one about my granddad was something in my emotional memory of fear. As a child he terrified me and somewhere deep seated in my brain is a remnant of that which got reactivated when I was out walking my dogs alone. Perhaps on some level I was on "red alert" as on that occasion I had unwisely gone off the main street and was on a dark field by myself.

notagainffffffffs · 12/10/2014 20:34

I didnt realise anyone else saw black spiders!!!! Its only happened to me once- had a miscarriage and found out exdh was having an affair in the same week. Anyway, one minute I was crying on the sofa, the next hundreds of black money spiders were running over me and up the wall.
I phoned my mum to fetch me and she somehow got to my 90 mile away house in an hour. Probs not safe but I was genuinely terrified.

raltheraffe · 12/10/2014 20:38

Perhaps spiders are indicative of fear. As children we are programmed to be afraid of certain things eg spiders, snakes. Perhaps you were very afraid at that point as you were going through 2 dreadful life events and your emotions manifested in this way.

DiaDuit · 12/10/2014 20:43

I think i was getting confused between posters ral. Ive looked back and see you werent saying anything about what other people had seen. (I didnt sleep last night- maybe i'm imagining things whilst awake now too? Grin)

notagain you poor thing. That must have been really scary! The time i saw my door open i genuinely thought someone was coming into my room and i froze. Time seemed to slow down but i couldnt move so i kept blinking to try and see clearly and started moving my face muscles to convince myself i wasnt frozen. Then when i was able to lift my head i could see the door was closed. It wasnt pleasant but when it started happening more i realised it was stress/tiredness and told myself to expect it if i knew i was tired. It still happens now but i know what it is so just shake my head and its gone. Except for the time the spider ran up the bed and i shook my head and it just kept coming! It was fucking real! Bastard. Had to wake up properly and deliver that one to his maker with my slipper.

I also have a black puma that visits my dreams when i'm stressed, she's very shiny Grin

neiljames77 · 12/10/2014 20:46

I bet all you sceptics wouldn't spend the night in a haunted house alone. And don't go giving me any bobbins excuses like, "I would but I've got the kids to see to " or "I've never spent a night away from dp"

temporaryusername · 12/10/2014 20:46

I think you're filling in gaps OP. Those are common names and having a narrative to explain to yourself and others where your imaginary friend has gone when you've outgrown him is understandable. Going to college/living there in term time is something even a small child could hear spoken about by anyone around her talking about a friend or relative, or on the tv.

Thruaglassdarkly · 12/10/2014 20:48

You are not going to get a definitive answer on here OP, just a lot of opinions about what people do or don't believe. Bit like posting a thread AIBU to believe in God? Those who believe in God will argue no, he's real. Those who don't will say yes, he isn't.
It's interesting though. I'm inclined to wonder whether there's something in it and say that it's likely or at least possible his friends were ghosts. But that's just my opinion.

temporaryusername · 12/10/2014 20:50

What kind of haunted house? I probably would. Who would be up for a night in the attic -

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/50_Berkeley_Square

One of the dead 'tripped while running away from the house'. Says it all really.

jezzapaxmanslovechild · 12/10/2014 20:53

For me, there has been various stuff that has happened. When I was 6, I was round at my grandma's with my mum. They were talking about a neighbour called Mr Clarke. I I suddenly turned to them and said "Mr Clarke is really poorly and is going to die " 2 weeks later he dropped down dead from a sudden heart attack. I don't think I was being prophetic - I think I obviously heard them discussing him and probably his health and had a sudden thought.

When I was 15 I used to babysit for a family where odd things happened - the babys room was always icy cold despite heating and the dog refused to enter the threshold and growled. The clock used to go backwards and odd items appear. I just rolled my eyes Hmm

When I was 18 before I started my nurse training I worked in a care home - the taps used to turn themselves on and fill sinks and the bath up (I did nights) whilst we sat doing paperwork /ironing in the dayroom whilst the residents slept. On a few occasions as I went upstairs to check on residents the stannah stairlift used to follow me up and nudge my bottom.

Interestingly my mum was admitted to that same nursing home a month ago - she died 2 weeks ago Sad I was asking the manager about the taps - and they are still at it - they need to get the waterboard in.

When my dad died 20 years ago, I was at the hospital with him, then I came home to my mum. I saw the neighbour outside hanging up her washing so I went out to tell her dad had died - she pre-empted me by saying "I see your dads home " turns out she saw my dad entering the front door a few hours ago. I found it really comforting then a few years later I realised that she'd seen his brother going in to see mum prior to picking me up from the hospital... it was very comforting though at the time - the thought of my dad coming home Sad

I'd say that all of this mad stuff has a rational explanation somewhere...

notagainffffffffs · 12/10/2014 20:53

I agree raltheraffe I think tbh I was on the cusp of a full mental breakdown and obviously my body had had enough too!
Very interesting that others have seen them too in times of streas- I made my mum promise not to tell anyone ever.

neiljames77 · 12/10/2014 20:56

I mean one like in, "The woman in black " where there's no bugger around for miles.
And stop trying to rope other people in to keep you company!!! I said ON YOUR OWN!!
Grin