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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was my DDs imaginary friend a ghost?

247 replies

MrsDylanThomas · 12/10/2014 11:12

The time of year for such a thread but anyway...!

My DD is now 6 but when she was just 2.5/under age 3 she had an imaginary friend called William. Very young to have an imaginary friend IMO. For a period of about 3 weeks she spoke to William, 'read' books to him and if we were in the park she would stop and say 'C'mon William! Hurry up' whereas she was talking to thin air.

All very normal imaginary friend behaviour.

But one evening around this time, I asked her where was William? I was kind of joking. I remember we were sitting together on the couch before bedtime and she said 'William has gone to college where he lives'.

Turns out my husband's grandfather was called William (they called him Billy) and he worked in the accounts department of a university.

I asked her about him the other day as was thinking about it and she said she often talks to him at bedtime of if she's worried about anything. She's a happy, sociable and clever child so don't think it's anything to worry about.

But I just think William is a name she didn't hear in crèche, or in stories and I didn't think she knew the word 'college' at that age.

Her other imaginary friend was called Alice. I thought it was from Alice in wonderland but (chillingly) my husband's granny was called Alice! Shock

Sorry to spoke you out mumsnetters. Am I filling in gaps or AIBU? Love to hear your thoughts!

OP posts:
VermillionPorcupine · 12/10/2014 12:01

I think it's mainly just their imaginations.

Ds2 is 4 and recently we went through a phase where he was scared to go to bed and kept waking and coming in to us in the middle of the night.

When I asked him why he said it was because the strange man that kept coming into his room scared him (freaked the hell out of me anyway). He said it was a tall man dressed in orange, who always carried a load of orange balloons on string and a saw. And he wanted to squash ds, and used to use the saw to cut the bedposts (ds2 sleeps on the bottom bunk) so that the top bunk would fall on him.

It really creeped me out because after a while he got quite casual about it. He'd appear downstairs yawning and looking quite irritated at 10pm and say 'the orange man is there sawing my bed again. I hope he's not long, I want to go back to sleep' Confused

I hope it's just their imagination anyway (I admit I did google the description of the orange man just in case!)

WorraLiberty · 12/10/2014 12:02

I think the explanation (or at least part of it), might be the way in which the adults interpret it.

If someone believes in woo, or at least likes the idea of it, it's not difficult to convince them.

When kids tell us things, they're normally lead by our reactions and can tell instantly whether we want them to continue with the story - thus fuelling their imagination even further.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/10/2014 12:02

Don't underestimate your dd, she could well have have been talking to her grandfather and grandmother. Children tend to be more in tune than adults. I would ask her to describe him more, what he looks like, more details about him.

13Stitches · 12/10/2014 12:17

In tune with their imaginations

JellyDiamonds · 12/10/2014 12:40

Why are some people so dismissive of things like this? There is still so much we don't know about the Universe and how it works. Personally I prefer to keep an open mind.

WorraLiberty · 12/10/2014 12:48

Yes but when it comes to woo, some peoples minds are so open, their brains are falling out.

All common sense seems to go out the window because they fall over themselves to want to believe.

Aeroflotgirl · 12/10/2014 12:56

I agree Jelly totally.

niceupthedance · 12/10/2014 13:02

My DS talks a lot of woo - told me when he was two that I had been his mummy before with some Confused details, and also that he had looked after me when I was old before. He also talks about 'waiting up there' to be born...

At the moment he has an imaginary friend called Kaiya, he has said he has no legs because he's a ghost. But the appearance of Kaiya coincided with a house move and new nursery so I think he was just feeling lonely.

I think it's great to have such a vivid imagination...

Haffdonga · 12/10/2014 13:17

According to my DM I had a lot of imaginary friends by the age of 3. The ones I remember (because family pets were named after them) were Mindin, Gitky, Afris and Dooie. I hadn't heard these names before but that doesn't make them ghosts. Confused .

The chances of your dd not having heard the name William somewhere by the age of 3 is ten thousand to one. It's a popular name. So is Alice.

You're looking for woo when you have an imaginative, creative and normal 3 year old. Enjoy the reality. Smile

Aeroflotgirl · 12/10/2014 13:26

Just because you don't believe does not mean it's not true. How can you prove it isent!

Aeroflotgirl · 12/10/2014 13:27

Science can explain a lot of things but not everything.

DiaDuit · 12/10/2014 13:30
AlpacaYourThings · 12/10/2014 13:32

Ooh yes, ask her to describe them!

Could she have found photos/heard your DH/MIL/FIL talking about them?

noblegiraffe · 12/10/2014 13:42

There is still so much we don't know about the Universe and how it works.

But when we have plenty of children with imaginary friends that are clearly made up and are not ghosts (like my DS's Martian friend) and we know that there is a clear developmental stage for inventing imaginary friends, then why go believing that for a small subset of children with imaginary friends that these imaginary friends are different to all the others, that these are special imaginary friends that inexplicably break the laws of physics? Why go believing that over the more likely possibility that it's a coincidence and that the child actually heard the name William from some other source at some point in their lives?

Stampysladygarden · 12/10/2014 13:43

I don't believe in ghosts, but when my child's 'imaginary' friend started throwing things around and chasing me around the house, I grabbed my my child and ran.

I consider myself to be a sensible rational person but sometimes bizarre shit does happen.

WorraLiberty · 12/10/2014 13:47

Stampy??

Stampysladygarden · 12/10/2014 13:52

It's absolutely true I promise. I very rarely tell people because I expect them to think I'm bonkers.

I kept trying to find rational explanations for stuff which most of the time you can. But having this thing in your face. It was run away time.

WorraLiberty · 12/10/2014 13:54

You actually saw someone else's imaginary friend, and witness objects flying through the air?

What did your Doctor say?

Gruntfuttock · 12/10/2014 13:55

Please tell us more, Stampy

squoosh · 12/10/2014 14:02

Poltergeists seem like the least satisfying type of spook to me. Don't mess my stuff up thank you very much, just waft across the room gently looking a bit ethereal.

getherelucy · 12/10/2014 14:05

Yes but when it comes to woo, some peoples minds are so open, their brains are falling out.

This!

All common sense seems to go out the window because they fall over themselves to want to believe.

And again, this!

I think I love you Worra.

getherelucy · 12/10/2014 14:10

How can you prove it isent!

That doesn't even make sense.

Of course you can't prove something doesn't exist because you cannot have evidence for non existence. Something has to exist before it can provide evidence of anything.

To suggest otherwise is like saying you believe in the tooth fairy because she hasn't come to visit you to tell you she doesn't exist.

And you know...you can't prove the tooth fairy doesn't exist...so I guess the tooth fairy must be real too Smile.

WorraLiberty · 12/10/2014 14:10
noblegiraffe · 12/10/2014 14:11

It's a bit PFB isn't it? Your DS has an imaginary friend, mine talks to his long dead grandfather.

Of course he does, dear.

Oakmaiden · 12/10/2014 14:12

Interesting question for people who don't believe in ghosts... do you believe in souls? Or are we all just bundles of chemicals that have just happened to work out interestingly?