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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was my DDs imaginary friend a ghost?

247 replies

MrsDylanThomas · 12/10/2014 11:12

The time of year for such a thread but anyway...!

My DD is now 6 but when she was just 2.5/under age 3 she had an imaginary friend called William. Very young to have an imaginary friend IMO. For a period of about 3 weeks she spoke to William, 'read' books to him and if we were in the park she would stop and say 'C'mon William! Hurry up' whereas she was talking to thin air.

All very normal imaginary friend behaviour.

But one evening around this time, I asked her where was William? I was kind of joking. I remember we were sitting together on the couch before bedtime and she said 'William has gone to college where he lives'.

Turns out my husband's grandfather was called William (they called him Billy) and he worked in the accounts department of a university.

I asked her about him the other day as was thinking about it and she said she often talks to him at bedtime of if she's worried about anything. She's a happy, sociable and clever child so don't think it's anything to worry about.

But I just think William is a name she didn't hear in crèche, or in stories and I didn't think she knew the word 'college' at that age.

Her other imaginary friend was called Alice. I thought it was from Alice in wonderland but (chillingly) my husband's granny was called Alice! Shock

Sorry to spoke you out mumsnetters. Am I filling in gaps or AIBU? Love to hear your thoughts!

OP posts:
getherelucy · 12/10/2014 14:14

FWIW I don't know whether ghosts exist or not. I'm neither a believer nor a non believer. I think I sit somewhere in the middle and like to listen to all possibilities and take them all on board.

However I am a bit Hmm at people who are so ready to jump to the conclusion that it must be something woo without considering other possible explanations.

noblegiraffe · 12/10/2014 14:17

No, I don't believe in a soul, if by 'soul' you mean some supernatural entity that attaches itself to a body and exists beyond the death of the body.

If by 'soul' you mean a personality that persists while the body is alive despite the complete renewal of the cells of the body over time, then no, I don't really believe in that either. A person can change personality an awful lot when damage is done to their brain. A person and what defines them is very dependent on their brain.

DiaDuit · 12/10/2014 14:18

I wish i was a dog. Dogs dont need to worry about whether there are ghosts. They just worry about whether there is food, and of course there always is so they dont need to worry.

WorraLiberty · 12/10/2014 14:18

I'd just like the tiniest smidgen of evidence.

Also, why do people always describe seeing ghosts in very old buildings, dressed in old fashioned clothes?

Why is it never some guy called Wayne, wearing a Nike tracksuit and baseball cap, haunting a new build?

Oh and just how do you die and take your clothes with you?

If anyone can answer that, I'll start planning my death wardrobe.

fellowes · 12/10/2014 14:19

i wonder if any non believers of woo believe in god .

DiaDuit · 12/10/2014 14:21

i wonder if any non believers of woo believe in god

god/s is/are woo.

WorraLiberty · 12/10/2014 14:23

What DiaDuit said.

You can't not believe in woo and still believe in god because they're both the same thing.

Nice for people to believe in if it makes them feel happy (I believed in Santa once and that made me happy), but it doesn't make it real.

TheSpottedZebra · 12/10/2014 14:24

My son had an imaginary friend who was a jaguar. Mostly he lived in the garden, but sometimes he was known to mess up my DS' s bedroom. His name was Joseph, which was the name of 2 of my great grandfathers

Oakmaiden · 12/10/2014 14:25

Personally (and I know I am answering my own question, but wondered what others think) I would like to believe in souls. I would like to believe there is more to life than chance and happen stance. But I find it hard.

IF I was convinced we had souls then it wouldn't be too great a leap to believe that ghosts might exist. Which is probably why in my heart I wish something would convince me of the existence of ghosts. But nothing has yet. There are thing that might be "woo", but I have seen nothing that could not be explained in terms of coincidence, or imagination.

On the other hand completely - science is convinced that there is a large proportion of "existence" which we are unaware of - something to do with the total mass of the universe being about 10 times greater than the physical objects in it would account for. So who is to say there is not a huge "other world" going on just out of our sight?

I just don't know. Wish I did, though.

getherelucy · 12/10/2014 14:26

Worra I've always wondered where ghosts buy their clothes from...

Wadingthroughsoup · 12/10/2014 14:27

I think I know people who believe in God but not in woo. Am not sure but will have to ask them.

As a child, I had an imaginary friend called 'Sandra' which I used to say in northern accent. (Yorkshire perhaps?) We didn't know anyone called Sandra, and we didn't have any friends or family with northern accents. I used to get my mum to lay a place at the table for Sandra and she sat next to me in the car etc.

Anyway, I don't believe for one minute that Sandra was a ghost. I expect I'd heard someone speaking with a Yorkshire accent- on TV or in passing in the street, and had got it from there.

getherelucy · 12/10/2014 14:27

i wonder if any non believers of woo believe in god.

Um, no.

Stampysladygarden · 12/10/2014 14:28

I did see my gp out of desperation but he wasn't too worried. But I wasn't the only person to see it all happening. It's incredibly hard to believe it's not bullshit unless it happens to you personally.

squoosh · 12/10/2014 14:28

A friend of mine swore there was a ghost in his flat of a 20-something guy dressed in late 1970's style. Not a Tudor ruff in sight.

Fullpleatherjacket · 12/10/2014 14:35

OP, has your dh got photos of his grandparents?

I'm not one for woo but I now need to know if she recognises them

Stampysladygarden · 12/10/2014 14:36

Oh and I had everyone from electricians to the local council looking for anything normal that could explain what was going on.

I'm sure there is a scientific reason behind it that perhaps we don't know yet. Some kind of energy thing coupled with our fear is the unknown.

TheysayIamparanoid · 12/10/2014 14:40

Personally, I'm Buddhist so I Do believe in past lives and reincarnation.

But my DD told me about something she read that makes perfect sense for a lot of imaginary friends-
Inherited memories. It makes sense that if we can inherit looks, body shape or anything else genetic, why not memories?

NotMNRoyalty · 12/10/2014 14:43

There is no such thing as ghosts so it is impossible that William was a ghost.

Totally 100% impossible.

nomorecrumbs · 12/10/2014 14:46

Unless she starts coming out with local history stories there are no way she could have known about, take it all with a pinch of salt OP.

Haffdonga · 12/10/2014 14:53

TheysayIm paranoid No it doesn't. It just doesn't.

Inertia · 12/10/2014 15:01

Was my DDs imaginary friend a ghost?

No.

HTH.

tothesea · 12/10/2014 15:05

My DS had an imaginary friend called Oontie. One day the 7 o'clock show was on and DS pointed excitedly at Adrian Chiles 'Look look Oontie's on the telly!'
Nothing to do with ghosts but twas very funny.

JellyDiamonds · 12/10/2014 15:05

Why can't we inherit memories? Sometimes certain things from modern history seem eerily familiar to me like I've experienced them before, but obviously I couldn't have done because I wasn't born until the 80's.

It's hard to explain but I'm not against the idea that maybe I've somehow absorbed my mothers memories somehow. Remember when are in our mothers wombs for nine months and we take everything we need to grow from them, why not memories as well?

peacoat · 12/10/2014 15:06

I'm not woo at all but on holidays in Thailand this summer, we noticed stuff had moved in the bathroom in our house. There were no windows or open areas for animals to get through, or for wind to blow. We had the door to the bathroom shut. We had hired the room so no-one else could wander in, and no staff had entered it (we checked).

Two plastic cups were on the floor, next to each other. They had been behind a toiletries bag which was untouched.
A roll of toilet paper was in the middle of the floor, sitting up. No marks on it. It had been next to the toilet.
The next day a bag of cotton buds had been emptied all over the floor from the top shelf and the plastic bag missing.

We tried for ages to think of a way this could have happened but I can't think of a rational one. Still don't know what caused it, but it was weird.

QueenChrysalis · 12/10/2014 15:06

Paranoid - was that the jungian archetype stuff or real memories of events and how many generations would they be passed down from? It makes sense that we'd have some archetype forms in our psychology, much like animals having instinct as to which animals are to be avoided, like snakes.

I'm on the fence really, I don't know but it does scare me. The kids haven't said any creepy stuff besides nonsense to delay going to bed.