to tell this child to stop?

[AnonymousBird]

Children in a playground, mine included. Girl, unknown to me, attempting to kick my child, makes some contact, not too severe, but clear intent to kick to hurt if she can. No obvious supervising adult. I tell kid not to do it again. She lies, says it wasn't her, but I know what I saw! We are talking children of 8-9 years old I suspect.

Was I wrong to tell her to stop? I didn't touch the child, stayed about 8 feet away. She had a friend with her who admitted the girl had done it.

I then walked away, no further involvement. Over in a matter of seconds. Withdrew my children to a different area at same venue.

Much later on, an adult who is now present with her tells me the child is traumatised. I tell him that she shouldn't be kicking and trying to hit my child with a ball.

YANBU.

Of course YANBU, the parent's attitude speaks volumes as to why the child behaves in that way.

Of course yanbu
I would have been less restrained and would have told child off

Well I suppose it did amount to a telling off of sorts, because I approached her and said, you've been trying to hurt my child, she said no i haven't (her friend then said actually it was her). I then said "I know who I believe and don't do it again". Those were my exact words. And I walked away right then.

He may have taken issue with the child about her behaviour, I do not know, but to tell me she is traumatised by a few words about something she clearly did is bonkers!

Yanbu. She is clearly not used to being told anything, explaining why she behaved in that way.

Traumatised my foot.

Of course Yanbu, the parents attitude just says it all. Little Octavian can do no wrong of course, never mind they are kicking and hurting other children.

Yanbu, if he didn't want other parents telling your child not to kick then he should supervise them better

Telling his child not to kick!

Yanbu....

Why on earth wouldn't you tell a child to stop kicking yours

YANBU. I once very gently told a small boy "no...leave her alone" in a kind voice as he was about 4 years old to my reckoning and he was wrrestling my DDs scooter off her as she stood on it.

His Mother came storming over with a face like thunder and said "HE'S TWO YEARS OLD!!!"

He looked about 4...and he was trying to pull my DD off her scooter....she didn't retaliate as she's just not that type...all I said was "no...leave her alone...you might hurt her in a kind voice with a smile.

I said "Oh I'm sorry but he looks older" though I'd have said the same thing if I knew he was two to be frank.

Of course you are not being unreasonable.

I grabbed the arm of a boy of about 10 the other week because he legged it across the park and ran up the small toddler slide that my toddler was climbing the steps to.

I was stood at the side to help ds if he needed it so couldn't have grabbed ds out of the way. The boy was obviously going to run up and jump from the top - he'd have knocked ds out!

I grabbed his arm and said 'NO!' Because I knew that he was going too fast for just yelling to stop him.

His mother shouted at me from over the fence never to touch her fucking child again. Nice.

Geez a remember an incidence like this after school - this child who was traumatised, it was because I overheard her suggesting to my dd about how they would leave x child out and I picked her up on it and said "no" they wouldn't be doing that. One of those "my dd does know wrong" mothers!!!

YANBU. I've had a family of women screaming at me in a park before because I asked a woman's daughter to stop kicking sand at my DS. They were on the phone asking boyfriends/husbands to come down.

Best bit was them screeching into the phone, "What do you mean, you're still in bed??? It's 4pm!!"

YANBU, and I'd go further - I'd want another parent to tell ds to stop kicking if I wasn't there.

I think what you did is perfectly reasonable.
I have a two year old who looks four- and I've just had to accept that I need to hover a bit more as people expect a certain level of behaviour that he isn't yet capable of. It was funny in the park the other day when he was the same size or bigger than quite a few kids in school uniform.
Anyhow - back to the original post. Kids lying when you've seen them do something is annoying. Particularly when they are old enough to know better, so you were right to hand out a small 'telling off'. She probably greatly exaggerated the story to her parent...

I have a ds 2.7 years who looks about 4, I would have been following him and on his case like a shot if he had tried to wrestle a scooter off a child or hurt them. He has to learn.

"I know who I believe and don't do it again"

I thought you said you saw it? If so say 'I know what I saw' or 'I just saw you kicking, don't do it again'.

The young boot happy kid was "traumatized"? My councelling suggestion is not to kick people! You were not unreasonable.

Traumatized my arse! If her father had been supervising his little angel. He would have seen her behavior and reprimanded her himself (and she wouldn't have had to have been "Traumatized" by an adult telling her to stop) or then again would he! I hate parents who don't disaplin their kids. Almost as though they don't care how they behave. I don't care what anyone says. They know when they're doing wrong at 8 at 9.
Oh and in answer to your question. Y.N.B.U.

You are asking if YWBU to ask someone to desist from booting your DD? of course not.

Yep had a mum scream at me in school playground cos my husband told her son off the day before in the park as he was trying to smash my sons bike up 2 other mums were there and backed up my dh the boy wasnt even with his mum but another parent who she was was friends with had a go at my dh at the time.I remained calm as playground full of kids inc toodlers etc walked in to school to report her what did the head do? Told me that dh shouldnt be telling kids off! Wtaf! So its ok for a 10 yr old to smash up someone elses property?

YANBU
I once had a family member tell me, at the school gate, I shouldn't have shouted at her DNephew the previous day.

Her 'D'N (9) had walked straight up to DD1, in the village shop, and kicked her hard in the shin.

No words were exchanged, no provocation, just kick!

On holiday I was once harangued by a woman for nicely suggesting to her 6 year old child that it wasn't nice to throw hard plastic-covered foam cushions at or keep jumping off the softplay squishy shapes onto my 2yr old DD and another small toddler - I know he was 6 because she stormed over to me (from the bar) and hissed

"Did you just speak to my child? Did you? Did you?"

• yes, I asked him to stop throwing things and jumping on the little ones.

"He's only six!!"

• Then he's too old to be in the toddler area.

She glared at me, but I am capable of a good 'don't fuck with me' look myself, and after a few seconds so she contented herself with scooping up her small thug and retreating. Gave me evils for the entire 2 weeks we were there... some people are ridiculously precious about their children while being oblivious to the harm/distress they are causing other kids. YANBU.

ddubs yes it does appear to be fine for some DCs to be have appallingly.

The upshot of the above conversation with said child's aunt was that it was perfectly OK that DD1 got bullied.

Why because DD1 is a bit quirky and different

In the end I felt really sad, because the boy in question is actually very sweet, but he spent a large chunk of Y5/6 getting in more and more trouble and being the child all the mums moaned about. All he needed was some parenting!

YANBU.

I had a similar incident during the Summer where I gave out to a group of children who ignored three requests from me to play on the green and not right beneath my window (shouting at 10pm and swinging out of lamp post) and asked them where they lived as, if they continued to ignore me, I would speak to their parents.. Father of one of them was all upset about his child coming home 'in tears'. When I explained what had happened, (my version, not hers) he backed off and apologised for her behaviour.

Some parents just immediately jump to their kids' defence and never bother to check what actually happened and was said.