to tell this child to stop?

[AnonymousBird]

Children in a playground, mine included. Girl, unknown to me, attempting to kick my child, makes some contact, not too severe, but clear intent to kick to hurt if she can. No obvious supervising adult. I tell kid not to do it again. She lies, says it wasn't her, but I know what I saw! We are talking children of 8-9 years old I suspect.

Was I wrong to tell her to stop? I didn't touch the child, stayed about 8 feet away. She had a friend with her who admitted the girl had done it.

I then walked away, no further involvement. Over in a matter of seconds. Withdrew my children to a different area at same venue.

Much later on, an adult who is now present with her tells me the child is traumatised. I tell him that she shouldn't be kicking and trying to hit my child with a ball.

OP - I didn't mean you were being wishy-washy - on the contrary, I think you acted in an assertive manner which had the desired result of getting the child to stop. Job done - and she knows her nasty little game has been sussed.

What I think is wishy-washy is the suggestion you should have asked the child to stop rather than telling her!

A child that will argue and tell bare faced lies to an adult has clearly not been traumatised. Yes, she was humiliated - because you caught her out in her nasty kicking and then exposed her as a liar. And whose fault was that?

Sorry Katie. Wires slightly crossed. I did no asking. Only telling and yes, it wd have bn wishy washy to ask! No humiliation by me. The only people who heard the very brief dressing down were her, her friend, me, my DD and my adult friend who was nearby because her children had also been with my DD and saw what went on too.

I find the least said the better in these situations - a very loud "oi" along with look of death at particular child / children is enough to stop them in their tracks especially if they know what they are doing is wrong !

As a parent I would appreciate anyone telling my dd off if they found her doing something totally wrong like this. --And if they traumatised her so much the better (Oh poor me, I can't kick random strangers anymore because I get these horrible flashbacks)

:o Mexican

Yep, people who don't like other people telling their children off should teach their children not to hit/kick/ take property from other children... Not a radical concept.

Whether the kicker was older or younger is irrelevant - I hate the idea older kids are expected to take and accept violence from younger or smaller ones, esp. when the "little" one is well past the baby stage - how ridiculous (my kids ages range from 9 down to 3 - how unfair would it be to tell the older 2 they have to let the not so little 3 year old kick them )

I once shouted "Hey, I can SEE what you are doing. STOP it" at a child that was purposely hitting younger kids with a plastic sword.

His mum came over to me and said "why are you watching my son?" and I told her that he was hitting the younger kids (incl my DD) and he needed to stop. She said "FFS, it's just a bit of plastic, he's only playing" so I replied "it still hurts." She wasnt impressed and said something about 'wet' kids.

She spent the next half an hour or so giving me evil looks and obvs talking about me to her DP. Right up until her son went over to her and hit her right in the face with the sword

It must have hurt - she went mad at him and they left straight away. I couldn't help but grin as they passed my table.

YANBU. I told two little boys (3 and 4ish) to stop trying to push ds3 (2) off a toy in the playground. They denied it and said they were there first and wanted a turn. I told them no, ds3 was there first and they could either wait, or go on another toy. Their mother was oblivious. I was impressed with myself for being assertive as I'm usually a bit crap!

Also, ds1 has ADHD & ASC and can act badly at times, and I would have no issue with another parent telling him "no, don't do that, it's dangerous/hurts someone". He's more likely to listen to another parent anyway. Of course I do my best to be aware of what he's up to but sometimes I'm busy with my other kids and miss something.

It must have hurt - she went mad at him and they left straight away. I couldn't help but grin as they passed my table.

God I hope you reminded her that it was just a bit of plastic!