Big family lunch at in-laws, have very good-natured toddler who generally eats lunch at 12, naps about 1.30.No major drama if it's bit late, but DH asked his mother if lunch could be served 12ish so toddler wouldn't get too hungry and tired. This was agreed. Because of our hours, not many of our meals are eaten together, so make a point of trying to eat together.
Day of lunch, as we get there at 11.30, lunch is being put into oven. It's a roast so will take 2 hrs. I had brought snacks but not a proper meal because I thought we'd be eating early enough not to need one. Didn't eat till 2, toddler went beyond point of being able to eat, cried a lot, I wasn't able to eat my dinner and we had to leave.
At the time, I just thought, meals can take longer to get on table, especially when hosting, but DH's mother has probably cooked more roasts than I've eaten and use to cook professionally. She knew we'd be eating late. I don't know if it was just thoughtless or, more likely, she didn't like us requesting an early lunch and decided to do it her way. If I'd known, I could have prepared for it. AIBU to be really cross about this. It ruined an important occasion.