Really annoyed at Someone parking in a Disabled Bay who is definitely not disabled!

[daisychain01]

I'm normally quite a placid person, who goes about her business and doesn't interfere with other people, but Im absolutely fuming.

Im staying at the Travelodge for two nights, last night was my first night, tonight is my second. When I arrived in the carpark yesterday evening, I was walking towards the entrance with my bags when I was nearly run over in the carpark by a woman in a BMW, texting on her phone while driving, trying to find a space.

It stopped me dead in my tracks! Anyway she then proceeds to drive straight into a disabled bay next to the entrance, obviously there to make it more accessible to a blue badge holder.

She got out of her car and I walked up to her. She was still on her phone, yabbering away, but looked at me. I said very politely, "um excuse me, but do you realise you are parked in a disabled bay .." To which she said as bold as brass "yes I know". So I just thought maybe I will cut her some slack, maybe she will check in then move her car.

I mentioned it to the receptionist and she didnt really want to know, because the parking belongs to the Toby Carvery next door. Out of curiosity I nipped out before going to bed and her car was still there, and still there this morning when I left...

...and there when I have just turned up tonight!

If she had said to me last night "yes thanks for letting me know, Im just unloading my heavy bags but I will move my car shortly" I wouldnt be frothing, but the Toby is really full tonight and whats the betting there is some poor person inside who has had to struggle all the way over from the furthest corner of the carpark because of that selfish cow.

The thing is, should I report her now? I just dont know if Its just me being pissed off at her attitude, and a bit up my own arse...im just feeling vengeful, like I want to teach her a lesson. The Toby is open and full of people.

Ok. Well, her point seems mad to me and I would assume to you too but you seem to agree with her?

I can see her point morris- after all the only reason we use it on a public road is to avoid being ticketed- not to prove entitlement to the general public.

How does your mother feel about showing courtesy to other people with disabilities over the use of limited disabled bays?

As I say, this is all academic to me now, as my darling dad has passed on, but it would be a cold day in hell before I would park in any disabled bay, anywhere, in a car that did not display a badge with the authorised badge holder on board.

But my mother has a disablility so I don't really understand what you are asking.

Add message | Report | Message poster SistersOfPercy Wed 08-Oct-14 17:31:57
I saw something on a TV program the other week where they were investigating BB fraud and it was saying that the new badges will have the date of birth of the person they are issued to as part of the long number on the badge.

In theory this would mean if you saw a strapping 20 year old lad hop out of a car alone and then looked at the badge you could work out whether he was the person it was issued to and report it based on that."

When you say "YOU could work out" do you mean general nosy members of the public? I can assure you this would severely piss me off, it's bad enough looking relatively young and fending off judgey glances without strangers thinking they have the right to "police" my own, deserved, blue badge.

I think none BB holders generally don't appreciate (and I include my own pre-disabled self here!) that BB holders often don't just see them as parking permits to make life easier. It took me a long time to apply for mine and although it does make things easier, I have mixed feelings about it. It's very hard to admit that I am so disabled and if even more people start feeling it's their business to enquire into this, I would be even more reluctant to use it.

It's awful when you struggle to get out of the car and some nosy fucker stands there watching you, waiting to see if you have a badge or not. Awful.

I am asking if your mother does not consider the feelings of other people with disabilities when she uses a disabled space and chooses not to display her badge. It seems a bit disregarding of other feelings, who have a tough enough hand dealt not to need unnecessary annoyance.

And's it just as awful if you can't get a space because some fucker who has no right to park there has decided they can't be bothered parking elsewhere. Fact is, there is abuse of the system and it needs to be stamped on. Unless you can think of another way?

I can't see how it is disregarding other's feelings. Who is she disregarding?

I thought I had explained - the person with a disability who cannot get a space and it appears a non badge holder has taken the disabled bay. As they have no way of knowing that your mother is as entitled to the space, they will rightly feel pretty peeved at what looks, on the surface, to be selfish behaviour. Why would you want to make someone else with a disability feel that unnecessary annoyance?

If the only space is taken by a badge holder, it is damned inconvenient but at least seems fair.

Why is she making such a big deal about not displaying the bit of paper which enables her to park somewhere legally?

I thought I had explained - the person with a disability who cannot get a space and it appears a non badge holder has taken the disabled bay. As they have no way of knowing that your mother is as entitled to the space, they will rightly feel pretty peeved at what looks, on the surface, to be selfish behaviour. Why would you want to make someone else with a disability feel that unnecessary annoyance?

Why would someone else want to over ride her wish not to display it.

If the only space is taken by a badge holder, it is damned inconvenient but at least seems fair

She is a badge holder she's just chosen not to display it,perhaps if people didn't like to act like detectives the whole bad feeling issue would be fixed.

I'm another BB holder who chooses not to display it on private land. I activity choose to park in a private car park and pay to park to avoid having to display any of the 6 badges issued to my household members, at the moment as the law stands I have the legal right to do this. (The 2 car parks I use management have seen the badges). It's bugger all to do with wanting to wind people up its because I got seriously fucked off with other people interrogating me about the badges one going so far as to pull my DD's dress up to look at her leg,or demanding my sons explain the nature of their disability and why strapping lads like them need one.outright accusing me of using someone else's and since I stopped displaying them I only get tutted at,tutts are preferable

Because they don't know that she's making a big deal about not displaying a piece of paper which shows she has a legal right to park in a particular space. A bit like a staff parking permit which many of us display without too much trouble.

Nobody needs to know that other than the driver of the car and the company who own the car park

Nope, still don't understand why you would display your BB on a public road, but choose not to do it in a private car park. It just seems an unnecessary way of upsetting people, from where I sit. But as I have learned that there is no way of enforcing disabled bays in private places in any case, it is all a bit academic, I guess.

I'm not convinced the OP is a do-gooder to be honest. It strikes me that a woman pissed her off by driving inconsiderately in a nicer car than hers and she got her knickers in a bunch.

That's how it reads, anyway.

I disagree. If I needed the space (when we used to take very disabled DFiL out) I would have no hesitation in challenging someone who was parking in a disabled s pace and not displaying the correct paperwork - it absolutely was my business if we were unable to get the space we needed for him. Anyone who chooses to make some kind of point by not displaying the kind of paperwork that thousands of drivers do on a daily basis for private car parks of whatever type is making life difficult for other people with disabilities (and themselves, although I would be less concerned with that)

I used to have a blue badge as I have ulcerative colitis and when I have a flare up I need to get to a toilet (I also have a radar key) NOW. If I am parked too far away, I won't make it in time. Now our council has changed the criteria for BB to the walking 100m thing so I've had my blue badge taken away and have resigned myself to staying at home for the days/weeks/months my flare up might last, or plan my journeys out with military precision. I don't look disabled and have had many a person tut at me, confront me or be very rude, despite the blue badge that I used to have. Obviously I don't park in disabled spots any more but there are many occasions that I wish I could.

Mumsnet: you shouldn't park in disabled bays without a blue badge
OP: I questioned someone who I suspected didn't hold a blue badge because I thought it was the right thing to do
Mumsnet: how dare you! Did she have a blue badge??
OP: sorry, I will check!.... no!
Mumsnet: how dare you! well maybe she forgot to display it! You are a busybody! Butt out!

Ever feel you can't win OP?

yesidid
From what i understood of the program, you could work out the age of the holder yes. Say you were born today I think the long number would be xxx081062 or sine variant of that. It was aimed at traffic wardens I think who could recognise the age of the holder and compare it with that of the driver.

This was centered on new issue badges in London though so whether this will be country wide I don't know. It was on BBC1 I think, one of the crap morning shows about 2 weeks ago.

Apologies, just found apdf on Sussex council which suggests it will be birth year and something which identifies if holder it's male or female. Can't link to it as it's a pdf and my phone isn't liking the link.

Either way, it should cut down on fraud.

Actually I have been that fit 20 year old pulling into a disabled parking space, displaying a bb and then skipping off into a nearby building, I've done it many times (although, sadly not 20 anymore), I've always been there to collect my blind and infirm grandmother who until she died at the age of 96 went to her hairdressers every 2 weeks for her hair to be set. Dropping off and picking up the bb holder is a valid reason for use, even though they wouldn't make every trip to the car.

There's simply too many "what ifs" for a blanket approach to be used.

I disagree. If I needed the space (when we used to take very disabled DFiL out) I would have no hesitation in challenging someone who was parking in a disabled s pace and not displaying the correct paperwork - it absolutely was my business if we were unable to get the space we needed for him. Anyone who chooses to make some kind of point by not displaying the kind of paperwork that thousands of drivers do on a daily basis for private car parks of whatever type is making life difficult for other people with disabilities (and themselves, although I would be less concerned with that)

How is a disabled person using a disabled parking space making anything difficult for you and why would it be less difficult dependant on a badge being displayed? The result is the same you don't get the space because a disabled person is already in it.

Or would you attempt to shame a disabled person into moving their car so you could have the space?

combust So would you be fine with it if you were unable to get a disabled space for your mum because the spaces were full of people parking there without a blue badge?

My sole experience of this was long ago sitting in a services car park for a bloody hour breastfeeding newborn dd watching the blue badge spaces. Being bored out of my brain (dh had buggered off inside in search of coffee) I decided to design a Poisson process for the cars parking in the spaces. So I counted them, noted their arrival times and whether they had a blue badge or not. Of the 22 cars I counted, 4 definitely had blue badges, 9 I couldn't see properly, 9 definitely didn't. There was also car no 23, which had a blue badge, drive up and down past the (full) spaces several times before giving up.

Dh was overjoyed when he finally returned to be given the lambdas for people parking in the spaces, blue badged people parking in the spaces and no blue badge people parking in the spaces.

needasock Presumably the aim is to challenge and shame a non disabled person into moving their car.

Mumoftwoyoungkids, it's funny you mention that, I had a thread a while ago about motorway service stations and blue badge spaces, prompted by the fact people seemed to abuse these and I couldn't park on my last stop on a journey on the M6 as the extremely limited spaces were full with none blue badges. Prompting very grumpy children and me being very uncomfortable!

I wonder why, is it because people tend to think of their parking as more transient, oh I'm having a pee, I'll be two mins? The majority of the blockers were vans, presumably after the larger spaces, but the result was I couldn't park as I couldn't get my wheelchair out in the smaller space.

I think the mother on this thread who doesn't display a badge is misguided, of course she is entitled to the space but other disabled people like myself would assume she was abusing the system. No one likes having to have a badge as I said earlier, but whats the point of system if it's not utilised? If everyone thought like that, it really would be even more of a free for all.

I stand by my opinion that would be vigilantes should report to people responsible for the land and not "challenge" themselves though. Even the word "challenge" is loaded isn't it, to me to its confrontational, adversarial.