Really annoyed at Someone parking in a Disabled Bay who is definitely not disabled!

[daisychain01]

I'm normally quite a placid person, who goes about her business and doesn't interfere with other people, but Im absolutely fuming.

Im staying at the Travelodge for two nights, last night was my first night, tonight is my second. When I arrived in the carpark yesterday evening, I was walking towards the entrance with my bags when I was nearly run over in the carpark by a woman in a BMW, texting on her phone while driving, trying to find a space.

It stopped me dead in my tracks! Anyway she then proceeds to drive straight into a disabled bay next to the entrance, obviously there to make it more accessible to a blue badge holder.

She got out of her car and I walked up to her. She was still on her phone, yabbering away, but looked at me. I said very politely, "um excuse me, but do you realise you are parked in a disabled bay .." To which she said as bold as brass "yes I know". So I just thought maybe I will cut her some slack, maybe she will check in then move her car.

I mentioned it to the receptionist and she didnt really want to know, because the parking belongs to the Toby Carvery next door. Out of curiosity I nipped out before going to bed and her car was still there, and still there this morning when I left...

...and there when I have just turned up tonight!

If she had said to me last night "yes thanks for letting me know, Im just unloading my heavy bags but I will move my car shortly" I wouldnt be frothing, but the Toby is really full tonight and whats the betting there is some poor person inside who has had to struggle all the way over from the furthest corner of the carpark because of that selfish cow.

The thing is, should I report her now? I just dont know if Its just me being pissed off at her attitude, and a bit up my own arse...im just feeling vengeful, like I want to teach her a lesson. The Toby is open and full of people.

I would challenge the person not displaying the correct paperwork as I said. If they felt shame then I would hope that in future they would either display the BB as they are supposed to in order to save confusion, or not use a space they were not entitled to.

I think it's called "being wilfully obtuse".

Wilfully obtuse on whose part?

The person who has a badge but won't display it.

Agree.

In fact. If you look in the dictionary this story is given as an actual example of the term

Hmmm, just been reading another thread about how people without children, should not make any comments about parenting and it reminded me of this thread!

I think the thing with none disabled people or none blue badge holders, challenging people parked in disabled spaces if they are disabled, is that, it doesn't impact on the challenger if that makes sense???it's not affecting THEIR ability to park, it causes THEM no issues whatsoever, so what have they to gain by asking? A sense of righteousness maybe . Yes, they may think, well I've made a disabled persons life easier, but it feels to me as if it's almost patronising...

No doubt people will say, well my father in law is disabled, I take my disabled brother to the shops...but they can speak up for themselves, they don't need you to do it! To me it's like the "does he take sugar" thing.

Does this make ANY sense to anyone else? I feel as though I'm not wording it correctly, but I'm tired.

It's illegal to clamp cars on private land. Which this was. If no BB is displayed I believe you are entitled to politely mention it. A disabled person would then have displayed their badge over the next 2 days. I doubt very much this person was entitled to use this space. My daughter had a BB but didn't look disabled until towards the end of her life. If people challenged us when her BB wss displayed I did not usually respond politely.

I think, that of you have not been in the position of being repeatedly 'challenged' to prove the validity of your disability you will never understand the upset that this causes.

When life is tough, and your struggling with the day-to-day activities of life having to face off with a self-righteous member of the public is the last thing you need.

I posted earlier about my DH. He coped with heart failure, being assessed and placed on the transplant and at the time, being given 18mths to live. One of the few times I saw him really cry was after being 'challenged' about his blue badge by another, older driver who wanted to use he space he was in.

Parking abuse is everybody's problem. If I've had to park two streets away and lug my kids/ shopping etc because there's no available spaces, and some entitled twat has decided the rules don't apply and just parked at the door, then I have every right to be pissed off.

But MorrisZapp, that analogy only works if entitled twat has parked in a space available for you to use. If you couldn't have parked there anyway, why would you feel pissed off?

Before I had children, I didn't go round checking to see if people in p and c spaces had a child with them, it wouldn't have occurred to me that parents might need me to enforce their rights for them.

I think it depends on the person, Mme, rather than anything else. My mum had a disabled badge for her arthritis when she was in her 20s and was repeatedly challenged. It used to piss her off a bit, but she also used to get a bit of a kick from showing her BB, her knee surgery scars and her sticks to the challengers and watching them retreat in confusion and embarrassment.

I would feel pissed off because I abide by the rules and some arsehole doesn't. If I was just popping in somewhere and there are four empty disabled bays, logic might say well what harm can it do.

But those bays aren't for the non disabled to use, not even for five minutes. So while I, along with the rest of the world, have to park wherever it is courteous and legal to do so, regardless of the inconvenience, the selfish pricks just help themselves.

Surely you can think of instances where people can annoy you for breaking rules even when you aren't directly affected. The rules depend on everybody following them, not on idiots thinking they're exempt.

Re P&C spaces, I used one of these for the first time this weekend. I am 33 weeks pregnant, with severe SPD... We have a big 4 wheel drive brand new flash car too (DP's company car). So we pulled up, and he leaped out and came round to my side if the car. A women with two kids in the back of her car pulled up behind us and sat there giving him evils. He got my crutches out of the back, and helped me out... She only drove off when she saw my massive bump. I assume she was planning to give us an earful if I hadn't been pregnant, and to be honest, we'd have deserved it if we were just nipping into the shops.

I've learned a lot about disability from MN, and I'm glad of it. But this thread is just circles within circles of logic and it bends my brain. Disabled people defending parking abusers doesn't and never will make any sense to me.

Im regretting the casual introduction of the p and c beast now! Sorry

MorrisZapp I see what you're saying, and I see the "it takes a village" sort of view, but after having been challenged by people seeing themselves as well meaning, (but in reality, fucking me right off and making me think they were just nosy fuckers) , I think people should be very careful and ask what their true motivation is, in getting involved in something that doesn't impact them directly.

I don't think anyone is defending parking abusers, they are saying report it if you're concerned, don't approach directly.

Well exactly. Especially when it's not the law (yet?) to display a BB on private land.

We can debate all day about the morals of not displaying a BB on private parking land when you DO have one. But upset only occurs when people challenge other people rather than just report to the owner of the car park.

I feel i should mention my interest in this thread comes from being challenged myself. My mother holds a BB. I've been at the car (getting shopping out/in, unlocking it, moving back the seat etc) while mum is making her way to it/from it and been challenged. It's bloody infuriating tbh.

I think the only outstanding issue for me is why a BB holder would choose not to display it. And continue to defend that position despite it being explained to them that they risk upsetting fellow people with disabilities when they choose to exercise that particular 'right'. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

And I will continue to judge anyone without a BB in a disabled bay. I won't confront you, but I will judge you. If you don't want to come across as a selfish prick - display the badge.

Maybe iabu and flame away if so, but I don't understand why you are all getting so defensive and confrontational about it.

If you have a be then clearly you have a right to park there. And I know the vast majority of people bb or not that use those bays really need them for reasons that shouldn't have to be validated.

But fact of the matter is, normal fit healthy people that are just arses abuse these spaces on a regular basis all the time.
One of my brothers friends (twat) does it all the time to just run in the bank or post office etc. No need, reason or disability. It happens. Lots of people do it. And I know there are lots of people (a majority) that need to park there for whatever reason (an invisible illness you shouldn't have to validate) just bear in mind that sometimes people aren't asking to be cruel, they are asking (and it sounds like in some way op was too) out of concern for people that might need the space.

Moral of the story = some people are dicks. If someone is confronting you about using a space you need in a confrontational way of course you don't have to respond or explain why. Some people are dicks and do park in those spaces out of sheer laziness. Not many but there are some! And if someone stops and asks in a polite way. It's out of concern for making sure the space is there for people that need it (invisible illness or not)

Everyone could benefit from being a bit more understanding

but they can speak up for themselves

Not in the case of my FIL sadly - that's what advanced Parkinson's does to you.

As for not challenging the person who isn't displaying a BB - nope, you'll have to accept that there are people like me who are going to challenge you. I'm not going to go to the bother of finding somewhere else to park and then go and find the owner of the car park (who may be on site, or may be at the end of the phone if I'm lucky) and report you. I have neither the time or the inclination. Display your badge, which is absolutely no big deal really, and save everyone a whole load of inconvenience.

I think theres two issues here which are actually seperate - people who park in disabled spaces without a BB, and people being questioned on whether they really "deserve" their BB, and one is being used to argue the other.

If you've got a BB then you've got it, and challenging the person with it is wrong. I cant imagine that abuse from "borrowing" it is a widespread enough problem to be worth the embarrassment caused by challenging anyone who seems fine right now.

If you need BB privileges to park in a disabled bay, then you need the BB and you need to display it, otherwise it seems like someone saying "i need unemployment benefit but signing on is embarrassing, i should just get the money without having to go". The system has been set up for the people that need it, if you need it then use it, thats what its for, but displaying the BB is a part of that system, you dont get to pick out the bits you like.

Exactly what SirChenjin said.

If the law states that BB does not need to be displayed on private land, may I ask if disabled bays on private land are a courtesy or legally enforceable?