To be so fucked off with this?

[monkeymamma]

I am 30weeks pregnant with a massive bump and extremely uncomfortable.
I travel by train two days a week to get into work and I can't remember the last time I got my allocated 'half' of a double seat (ie full capacity of my actual seat). Appreciate that sounds petty but it's hard to be rational when you spend four hours a week precariously balanced on the edge of your seat (always seem to end up with the aisle seat - probs because of where/when I get on the train) feeling like I'm gonna fall off.
I hate to stereotype but I've got to say every single person who has pushed me into this position has been male. Only one of them has been of a bigger build which I can't resent, he was basically taking up the space he needed. I'm talking about space hoggers of perfectly average size who purposely 'take up' the maximum space they can.
Rant over!

YANBU I am sat opposite a selfish prick like the ones you have described. Male, overweight and clearly has elephentitis of the balls given the need to sit with his legs spread wide open.

Even when not pregnant, leg spreaders give me the rage.

I've never found a solution to this- if anyone else has, I'd love to hear it.

Littleturkish...sharp elbows....

Ask them to shift over?

Pointed stare, and ask them politely to move over.

Or do you want space between you and the other person? Cause that's not going to happen!!!

I can't stand people like this - bloody buffoons!! Get on the phone - or pretend to speak on the phone and 'tell' someone you're reading a brilliant thread on MN about fat sweaty men with elephantitis of the balls etc etc........Speak loudly!

So this morning, tried when I say down to say 'excuse me', with pointed glance at the man's knee, which was halfway across my seat. He ignores me. About 3/4 of the way to our destination I think oh bugger this and move my arm into a comfortable position (still within the boundaries of my own seat, mind). He then shoves his elbow into my arm as hard as he can. I say 'excuse me?' twice (first time ignored) and he says 'stop pushing me' (seriously?!). I then say, I'd just like the space allocated to the seat I'm in, you can see I'm pregnant, and I don't want to fall into the aisle.' He says 'well you could have sat somewhere else' - sorry but what the fuck? I'm talking about a completely average sized man here, by the way. So what makes him feel entitled to more room than everyone else? I don't think I'm entitled to extra space because of being pregnant, btw. I'm just less inclined to put up with this shit right now.

There's an article about someone who tried to understand this sort of selfishness:
www.bustle.com/articles/34279-why-do-guys-spread-their-legs-when-sitting-on-the-subway-my-weekend-of-sitting-like

OP I am truly sorry. My generation (I am 62) were taught at primary school about their obligations to people who needed a seat or space more than they did - in the case of girls the stress was on the elderly and disabled, in the case of boys also pregnant women (cue giggles from nine-year-olds of both genders, alas!), women with babies, and even women generally.

I wouldn't expect the last bit still to be taught but when did the rest of it stop, and ffs WHY?

I'm not even joking, there is an entire Tumblr blog dedicated to this, aptly named "Men Taking Up Too Much Space on the Train".

Voila - link to blog

Wriggle and shove until you've either pushed them out of your space, or made them uncomfortable enough to back off. You could mutter "excuse me" but if you're anything like I was when I was pregnant you'll just give the a deadly look

My DP is like this in all aspects of life (sharing a bed, sofa, table, pavement) and he just doesn't get that I might possibly want some space. I have to be very forceful before he even notices there's a problem.

on your behalf.

You need to get more pushy OP. Just physically take up more space yourself and if that's not something you're comfortable doing, you have to say "Can you move up please, I haven't got my due half of the seat." And look flat eyed at him.

If it IS a male thing, when does it begin? At what age do boys or men begin taking more space than they're meant to have?

If you look on YouTube a woman did the leg spreading thing to see reactions, was funny

Oh I want to see that Lion! Off to google.

Oh god Yanbu at all. I used to travel into London regularly. Those leg spreaders should fecking book another ticket for their balls, entitled twats.

Take one of those retractable tape measures and a copy of the regulations. I'm serious. I've yet to meet a man who was so well endowed that he needed to spread his legs at all. It's ridiculous.

I can't find it Lion! I did find this though...

men taking up too much space

Oh, Prince Pumpkin Balls
as opposed to Prince Charming

those leg spreaders should fecking book another ticket for their balls

OP, I find it effective to sit down and just let my leg knock into theirs. They shift so fast you hardly see them move!

This is in London, where I find that people have a horror of physical contact with strangers. Might not work elsewhere. Or are YOU in London?

I also agree with others that you need to be more assertive (dare I even say aggressive). Sit down so you're comfortable. Anyone who objects, tell them 'Move up please, you're taking up more than your half.' Any silly comments like 'Stop pushing me' you can respond to with a crisp 'Oh, grow up.'

ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties

Great minds think alike - I posted that blog upthread

Oh I should read the bloody whole thread!

It's good enough to be shared twice! I knew about the blog before this thread, I've even submitted a sneaky photo or two...

That blog.

Those shorts.

My eyes!

Leg spreaders, elbowers, nose pickers, sniffers, newspaper spreaders. I'd happily shoot them all.

Happily.