to insist DH take a shower

[tiredoldmum]

DH fell and either cracked or bruised his ribs a week ago. He spent the 1st 2 days bedridden. He is up around somewhat the past 3 days. He is having bad spasms at times in his back and ribs.

He hasn't had a shower in over a week now. He is filthy and he reeks.

I am urging him to take one and he is refusing saying he can't stand there that long. I don't believe him. I have offered to put a chair in the shower and anything else to help but he refuses.

Today I got kind of mad at him for refusing. I finally said do you think I am stupid? and he said I was having a go at him.

AIBU to insist he have a shower?

When I busted my ribs I couldn't even lie in bed without a bean bag.. There is no way I could have sat at a computer.

If he can sit at a computer he can take a shower. He either takes a shower or he doesn't get back in the bed until he has.

Why don't you help him have a good strip wash?

As for not using a sheet -that is very odd, can't you tuck it in well enough? Good old fashioned flat sheet with hospital corners should do the trick!

Eurgh. YANBU.

After a week or so of HMS related rib and shoulder trouble, which I rightly worked through, so it didn't get worse, I was struck down with a horrible GI virus, last week. Ended up spending a lot of time in bed, including lying on my side for tummy comfort, and the immobility and awkward positions have left me with horrible rib pain - it hurts to wipe my arse, ffs. I've had an all over wash of some sort every single day, even if I've not been able to reach everything. (Given the nature of my bug and the fact that I'm by no means completely over it, I couldn't even contemplate the alternative)

The no sheet thing is just revolting. Even if he showered twice a day, it would be revolting.

Wrt sitting in the bath and holding the shower over him-have you ever had cracked ribs? I don't even know how you'd get back out again!

He needs a wash and obviously some encouragement-nice hot bowl of soapy water/flannel and you help him or a shower if he can manage it.

Fgs has he still not washed? Enough pussy-footing around him. Tell him he'll have to sleep in another room tonight if he doesn't get washed now.

Well I can tell you I managed to keep clean with cracked ribs, broken nose, split lip, nearly broken thumb and bruises/cuts all over my body. (And more)

I have In fact have had quite a few different occasions with bruised/cracked ribs.

Iv never stopped washing and have even been to work!

Tell him to grow the fuck up and he's not getting to sleep in the bed until he washes and puts a sheet down!

I not saying I could just hop in the shower/bath like its was easy but managed to keep at least clean!

Yuck! I'd treat him like I treat my 3yo DS - two clear choices. He can either shower, or sleep on the sofa so you don't have to smell him next to you at night. And I'd get a sheet on the bed pronto and ignore the protests. This is one of those times when you need to be cruel to be kind. Gross.

LTB

??

That's just vile. Not showering and sleeping on the mattress - eurgh.

Even when you're in hospital you wash daily even if you are flat on your back! With 2 broken legs and not able to shower for 3 months I was as clean as a whistle. There really isn't an excuse as you're there to help him if he genuinely is in too much pain.

It is pretty gross. I've had SPD for the past 6 weeks, and sometimes standing in the shower has been so painful I've nearly cried, but I've still had a shower every day because I can't stand not to be clean. He could at least sit on a chair at the sink and have a strip wash.

Admittedly I haven't been able to scrub my feet for six weeks because I can't bend over enough to reach them. But at least they are getting rinsed every day.

You're a nurse? Sponge bath then.

Carmine-long handle brush

Wire brush and dettol. Don't make him sleep on the sofa, he'll crud that up as well. Dirty git.

Carmine, get a big sponge (like the type to clean a car) and drop it on the floor of the shower tray with a squib of shower gel on, and rub your foot over it.

Thanks for the suggestions, Dame and Felicity... I'm going to bla me baby-brain for my lack of problem-solving initiative there! :)

You can get long handled bath brushes from super drug,4 quid iirc. I've used one since I broke my legs as I'm not that stable still and I'm worried I'll slip if I start bending down to scrub

I use to have one like this.... www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/8520135.htm?CMPID=GS001&_$ja=cgid:17470592793|tsid:59157|cid:199887993|lid:92279792553|nw:g|crid:49428502953|rnd:11292898143732801779|dvc:t|adp:1o3|bku:1

Yak! ZERO tolerance for soap dodgers. Sorry, it was one of my dealbreakers early on.

Yuk. I showered the day after a csection - so in pain, no sleep, plus a baby to look after. He's got no excuse.

The sheet thing is just weird.

umm my DH cracked ribs last week he was back at work within 2 days and he has showered

That's disgusting.yuk yuk yuk. And you have to sleep with the stinker? Go and stay with a friend or family until he has a shower.He is totally unreasonable.

He finally got in that shower and washed! Halllejuah!

He tried to touch my boob last night and I said no way, not until you shower.

I came back from the shops and he was clean all by himself.

Did you get to sleep in a clean bed on fresh sheets? Otherwise that can be his project for today.