to think that financially I'm better off having three children to three different dad's and not working

[gingerprincess01]

I know I am but looking at other families I feel that the more kids to more fathers you have the better off, financially you are. I would have a house provided for me, benefits plus money off each of the fathers, which wouldn't affect my benefits. Sometimes I feel like women who stay with one man are penalised in this way. I do appreciate that the logistic and emotional benefits are worse but I'm just talking money-wise.

Chin up ginger. No harm done

gwan then, you mad thing. go for it.

Thank you, wouldn't change my circumstances for anything. I am a sahm and massively respect single mums and working mums as that's what my mum was and she did a bloomin great job. Can't view my kids as income as I don't get any

it's not something I would want to talk to some of my friends in this position in case I offended them, which is why I chose the anonymity of mumsnet for honest opinions

Then if there's something to learn from this is that, surprise surprise Mumsnet is frequented by real people who can also be offended, because shit happens to them sometimes. No, they arent goats.

Your thread question is on the same lines as the poster who speculates about whether people who blow all their savings are much better off, because then they get more benefits. Jeez. Warped twisted thinking.

I love this thread. C'mon, ginger has admitted she was a bit goady fuckery and said she was wrong. No benefit bashers have based as yet and there are enough sensible folk here to bash them right back if they started. Well done mumsnet, we have sillified a potentially horrible thread into sanity and changed a person's mind in the process. ??

??

Still no. SORry that was supposed to be a thumbs up.

I find it difficult with one child and I am in the position where I get regular maintenance, a good amount and we are mostly amicable (sadly in the minority)

But it's still difficult at times can not imagine how complex and draining it would be with three ex partners to deal with

I gotafree I DO live in a council house and I have damp fraying carpets, rotten kitchen units, concete floors, i also have mouldy kitchen ceiling, no shower at all, a bath that leaks desoite several repairs and the list goes on and on. My house will never have a new kitchen or a bathroom because its not fit for renovation due to it being a steel prefab house as it would cost too much money to uograde similar housing stock in the county.

Not much to be jealous about

Sorry for spelling mistakes..bloody tablet

I think you need to hand around MN a bit more - you get little glimpses into other people's lives. Sometimes those glimpses are funny or heartwarming, but sadly many aren't.

having children to get benefits/council housing.

having children by different men for the above too.

no mention of love and nurturing and relationship with children.

first ever ive ever sent.

ODFOD. Getting pretty fucking sick of the benefits/single mother bashing threads.

Gosh OP you sound ever so like another poster who is talking about slightly controversial things. Maybe it's the moon? can't tell since MNHQ took it away

Almost full moon, Luis, good point.

I don't know what makes you make the automatic leap from having children by different fathers to getting a council house and loads of benefits!

I had my first child at 19 as the result of a very short term abusive relationship with a boy who lived in another country (ie no way of getting maintenance). My way through the situation was to finish my degree, go into teaching and work in a boarding school with accommodation and heavily reduced childcare/school fees included. No benefits (apart from CB) involved. My second child actually has the same father (after I stupidly tried to reconnect with the guy while travelling and it went badly wrong) So again, no maintenance. My 3rd child was admittedly a stupid mistake but I was drinking and have no memory of having sex. So again, no maintenance.

So there you go - 3 children by what might as well be 3 different Dads (actually 2) who don't support them. And yet I earn over £40K a year, work 60+ hours a week and have never been on any non universal benefit.

Don't generalise!

Good point manic

Oh, goody! Another one.

Logically it does make sense though. If each father has to pay a certain amount of maintenance, then you'd X amount from each father per child.

But in reality you would then have multiple people to hunt down for money, multiple child contact schedules to maintain and keep track of. On top of that you still have 3 kids to raise for yourself.

Though I guess you could sell your situation to a reality TV show, they eat stupid crap like that up. You'd probably have like 6 kids, where two are twins. You could call it "6 kids, 5 dads". Then you'd have child maintenance and TV money.

How come the deadbeat dads rarely get a bashing
What if like me dh is dead
No free council house here either. Just had to buy a wreck unfit for habitation

Exactly. The deadbeat downs move through the undergrowth, undetected......... There's a sharp focus on the mums who are actually paying for and bringing up their children though. It's a misogynist way of looking at things OP. Think about that.

I have two children and I've heard a lot of criticism (casually thrown about, the odd comment, "oh but not you!!!!" ) but the bottom line is that unless you're a mother who could 100% fund your home (rent or mortgage), bills, food, travel etc on her own then you have no business whatsoever criticising a single parent who needs to receive some benefits.

It's a jolly good thing so many absent fathers are so reliable and generous when giving maintainance for their children.

CBA to read the whole thread but you'd probably be better off if you learnt how apostrophes are used.

no because the men in question could get 50/50 custody therefore wipe out your benefits and wipe out any money they would give to you because ctc only pay to the resident parent in cases where there it is split custody if neither parent can prove "main" responsibility neither can claim

your also assuming the men have jobs and will pay forgive me while i ROTFL