Alzheimer's and hospitals

[handcream]

I need some advice and whether I was unreasonable.

My DM has been admitted to hospital. She was moved 4 times in less than 12 hours but that isn't my concern. On a general ward a lady with severe Alzheimer's was put next to her, the nurses tried to change her, she was incontitent and she tried to bite and kick the three nurses who were dealing with her, she was shouting, swearing and screaming out. She was the same ages as my DM. After about an hour of listening to this and realising that it was nearing bedtime I felt I had to say something.

I asked that one of them be moved. I was fearful for my Mum in the middle of the night with this lady next to her.

Ironically they decided to move Mum anyway and she ended up opposite an elderly lady who rang the alarm bell every 30 mins and opposite a side room where the man insisted on shouting out and screaming when the ward phone rang (and wasn't answered in a timely fashion).

Was I unreasonable to think there must be better way to deal with patients with this horrible illness.

I would also consider that this ward had near enough mixed wards, think of a long corridor with bays of four beds, next to each other. Mum's bay was about 2 feet from the males one.

handcream a lot of older female patients find comfort in sanitary towels in case of an accident. You could ask her if she'd like to try them. She might be more inclined to drink freely then.

Also Dioralyte is over the counter and brilliant to prevent dehydration.

Thank you Anna very much.

Why can't I do it, handcream?

Err - because it needs someone with medical training, obviously, given her medical condition - edema and skin loss/de-gloving among other things. I said that this is a medical need. What part of that didn't you understand?

Why did I think you don't work? Because of your inane comment about relatives taking patients home and caring for them there. This is not something that anyone who worked would suggest because they wouldn't actually be there to provide the care.

And then comes your wonderful suggestion of "share it out amongst friends and relatives." have you ever considered that most elderly people have elderly friends? So that isn't going to work. Their relatives may be working, or live a distance away- or they might not have any relatives. I am my mother's only relative and I'm doing the best I can. We are not wasting NHS resources - my mother is on IV antibiotics and needs to be in hospital.

Having dementia does not mean you are not entitled to the same care as any other member of the population.

Actually I do work for a large FTSE company and certainly know what it's like. If you really think that the NHS now and in the future will cover all your needs you will be sadly disappointed and you will need to make alternative arrangements for certain elements, you were the one complaining that you have already found that to be the case.

handcream working for a company like that i should imagine time off if you need it can be easily negotiated.

Someone working in a supermarket or factory while having to claim tax credits and/or on a zero hour contract is going to be in a completely different position.

And i apologise in advance if i have got this wrong but i have often seen some of your views on the benefits/tax credit threads and now you are saying that people should take time off work when you say the opposite on the other threads. I apologise if ive mixed you up with someone else and this isnt you but if it is you have really contradicted yourself.

So, you work for a large FTSE company (btw - not quite sure why you felt the need to put that in, other than a stealth boast. Or is it supposed to add some credibility to your ill-thought out ideas for the poor unfortunates with dementia?) Presumably you work at least 8 hours a day. Like most people. How are working people going to care for their relatives at home when they are away for a large chunk of the day?

What "alternative arrangements" do you suggest for an elderly person who has dementia and other medical needs that mean they require hospital treatment? Please bear in mind that not everyone works for a large FTSE company. Most of us don't even work for small FTSE companies.

Actually taking time off isn't easy at all. Why would you think it is. What I am pointing out is that the NHS isn't going to be there in the way that some would like and we all need to plan for it. Saying that it should be etc isn't really going to make it better.

Well, handcream, you seem to be implying in your posts that everyone should be able to take time off and go in and feed and bathe and generally do almost everything for their relatives when they are in hospital, especially if they have Alzheimers. That isn't feasible. I know how distressing it is to be in hospital ward with someone who is suffering from it and it is wearing. does that mean i think they should be locked up somewhere? No - they are in hospital because they have a medical need to be there.

Frankly, if this worried you so much, why are you not taking your large FTSE company's salary and spending it on private health care for your parent? Surely if the NHS is as poor as you are saying, you would have private health insurance? i believe it is a great thing - until everything goes tits up and what happens then? Oh yeah, you get shipped back to the good old NHS and into a ward with someone who irritates you.

And UTIs are not always caused just by lack of fluids. In elderly people, they are often caused by the fact their immune systems are often suppressed and they are less mobile.

I think handcream is getting a hard time. The NHS is in a state. Her taxes are going towards it and she is questioning whether there is another way

What is so wrong with that?

Handcream asked if there was another way to keep non dementia patients away from dementia patients. She has accepted that there isn't and is only suggesting other ways. Why is she wrong in that?
The situation will not get any better because now the government keeps raising retirement age there are are not as many unworking relatives of the elderly left to look after them. I was 60 when my Mum came to live with me - 8 years ago. I had just retired. She had to go into a home when I could no longer lift her in and out of bed etc. How could I have looked after her if I was still working as she needed full time care?

My friend is a nurse on a urology ward. People with severe UTI's will very often appear to be very confused, disorientated, and aggressive. Often, visitors assume they have dementia - they don't, it is the UTI. Don't assume that everyone you see in a ward acting in a way that seems typical of dementia actually has it.