To go against DP on a major financial purchase because I feel strongly about it?

[Seishan]

DP and I both have a car each. We both need them as we both work full time and I work shifts so having just one car is not an option.

Dp's car is 10 years old and still works fine.

Mine is getting on for 13 years old and is falling to bits. It fails every MOT costing around £400-£500 each time. Now the wheels keep catching on the breaks (3rd time it's suffered with this) meaning the engine is literally dragging the car along against its will. The heaters don't work properly so getting to work in winter will be fun at 6am. The brakes fail every MOT and often need work inbetween. It's rusting quickly. It's just knackered.

I think it's false economy keeping it. I want to buy a newer car for around £2.5k. I would buy it on my own credit card. It would be my responsibilty.

DP says no and that mine will last another year or so but then he says I can get one after the mortgage is sorted out so that's well over a year, that's almost two years.

I really do feel strongly that as an adult, who works full time and wants to make a £2.5k purchase using her own financial means - she should be able to.

I've made the calculations and know it will NOT put us under financial pressure to do this.

I'm also aware that as time ticks on my car is becomming more and more unstable, will cost us more and more and will be worth absolutely nothing if it continues much longer.

AIBU to tell DP I disagree with him. Am selling my banger and buying a £2.5k car with my own credit availability and will take 100% responsibilty of the repayments?

It's so frustrating being told by what is supposedly an equal partner that I'm "not allowed" to do something despite me thinking it makes perfect sense to do it!!

What's the interest rate on your CC? Find a cheaper way if it's high.

The obvious thing to do is the person who thinks the car is OK drives it. You get 'his' car, he drives the shit one. See if he wants to keep it for two years.

YANBU.

I was also going to suggest swapping cars- I give it a month before he relents. Yanbu though, it's hardly a frivolous purchase. I'd be worried with winter coming up, especially if the brakes keep needed attention.

Yup, if he thinks it's OK, he can drive it.

Well, you don't need his permission - and if he is behaving as though you do, then you have bigger problems than the choice of a car.
What do you think will happen in terms of his reaction if you just buy the car you want? Will he sulk? Withold sex? Shout at you? Does he usually insist on having his own way in disagreements?

On the other hand (bearing in mind I am a non-driver and know absolutely fuck all about cars so apologies if this is a stupid suggestion) could you compromise and buy a less expensive car?

For 2.5k im guessing the new car would be around 6 years old?

If you want a car with limited problems, i would go for a car around 2 years old.

How long will it take you to pay off the CC? It might be cheaper to take out a personal loan, making sure it has been repaid by the time the mortgage application is needed (interest rates are set to rise, so you should be looking to clear it).

YANBU to want a newer car (I do too - mine's a 2001 Honda and I'd love something newer but it's irritatingly reliable).

However YWBVU to put the purchase on a credit card unless you have an interest free period and would be able to pay it off before that period expired.

Why do you need to wait until after the mortgage is sorted? You'd have to declare credit card debt as well as other borrowing on your application. You'd be better off with a bank loan / AA loan in terms of interest repayments.

I personally think that sticking such a large amount on a CC with astronomic APR is madness (unless you have a 0% interest card of course).

What is this mortgage you are sorting out? Is this saving for one? If so then personally I think using part of your savings for a better car is a better option.

This car sounds like an accident waiting to happen. If that accident does happen you may be a long way from a mortgage if you are on sick or incapable for working long time.

Also a newer car will be economically better and cost you less that the old one over the next year or so.

Whatever you do CC or other methods, you have the right to do what you want with your own money.

You don't need his permission to spend your own money. That he think you do suggests other, rather deeper problems.

I agree with the other posters: if he thinks it's OK to hang onto this rust-bucket he drives it and he pays the costs to get it through the MOT.

Wow that reads back shit. I am normally better. You get the general gist though.

I wouldn't have even asked him tbh.

Take your DP's car and heave him yours. Then tell him he will have it until the mortgage is paid.

Or go and buy yourself a car. Shop around re interest rates (no point paying more than necessary) and tell him it's an issue with safety. Your safety. Is he really happy to put your life at risk because the brakes don't work?
Tbh I have no issue with old cars, rush and scratches. I could cope Wuth the heating not working well. But brakes have to work properly. I mean it's your life (and the one if your passengers) that you are posting with!

Yes swap cars.

It sounds ridiculous to throw good money after bad.

Also the car sounds potential dangerous. It's a bit sad he's not more concerned about your safety

you car sounds dangerous. God forbid one day the bloody thing could kill you!

I think that you need a newer one. A safer one!

If your partner feels that your car is sooo safe and ok, then he should be happy to swap with you, right?

Let him drive the death trap.

Get a new car. Your safety is the most important thing here.

Just go and get a new car. When I got my first ever car, it was 10 years old, and that was a heap of crap. I was 19 at the time.

Go get a safer car op, it sounds like its a death trap.

I recently went back to work. I needed a car to get there and, like yours, mine was terminally sick.

I scrapped it and we got another one for me for just under £2,000. No point at all in having a job I couldn't get to, after all.

I think the idea of the two of you swapping cars could be just the ticket here. Nothing like experience to make him change his mind.

Agree with other posters, get a new car but don't get in on c/c if you can help it.

Blimey. It doesn't cross my mind to tell dh when I change my car. I work, its my car and I pay for it. I can afford it.

Same story for you. I'd go out and buy one and come back with it.

Either you need a new car, or you don't and he is happy to drive it.

I can't think that I would react well to being told my car needs weren't as important as DPs.

I don't think it's ever ok to spend £2.5k of family money on a purchase that one person disagrees with, but as you say DP and not DH, and you don't say if you have dc, then you might well be in a position where you have every right to spend your own money on whatever you want as long as you can afford it along with your existing commitments.

I also agree with the suggestion that you swap cars and let him see how he likes driving a banger.

YANBU. Dodgy brakes? I wouldn't get in the thing again.

But, like others have said, find a better credit alternative if you possibly can. And think about what you need and don't need in a second car - for instance, you don't both need a car suitable for going on holiday in, you may not both need a car suitable for driving long distances in. If you can get something little, you'll save a packet on fuel, less road tax, less insurance and so on. We bought a tiny little insurance group 1 car as our replacement second car and are saving £20 just on fuel every time we fill it up (same mileage per tank as the previous car, but a much smaller tank).

Tell him to drive it and you have his car.

Yanbu if it's coming from your money, you need it for work. Tge ok'd car is costing you more in the long run.

You either need a new car, or a new DP.