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AIBU?

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Original poster

Dating/sex apps have "accidently" appeared on itunes account. AIBU to think DP is a liar?

52 replies

Phylrabbit · 01/10/2014 14:37

A week ago a sex app appeared on the ipad. The only people in the house that know the password are me and DP. DP says he didn't download it. However - upon realising that there is NO OTHER BLOODY WAY IT COULD HAVE APPEARED ON THERE he changed this to "couldn't remember" downloading it. After realising that people don't "forget downloaded sex/dating apps" he changed this to "must have been accidently downloaded - clicked on whilst using another site.

(lets just forget for a moment that you still need the ffing password!)

Since investigating the itunes account I have discovered other dating apps which have been downloaded yet deleted from all apple devices in the house (2 phones and the ipad). DP denies any knowledge of them. However it turns out they were downloaded via the phone and not the ipad meaning even less chance of someone else doing in (on the ipad which the kids sometimes use).

So - the closest we have got to an admission of guilt is "I may have accidently clicked on it whilst using a porn site".

He has previous form for using sex/chat/dating sites from a few years back which I forgave but did not forget.

He thinks I'm being unreasonable to distrust him.

Do we all smell a professor of bullshit here or am I a mistrusting bitch of a woman?

Please do not out me, refer to other threads or link me if you recognise this - I'm hoping he reads it. Thanks.

OP posts:
Fudgeface123 · 01/10/2014 14:40

Very strong smell of bullshit, he's downright lying and he's got previous.

asmallandnoisymonkey · 01/10/2014 14:42

He's lying to you I'm afraid :(

Trills · 01/10/2014 14:43

It's more likely that he is lying than that a dodgy porn site was clever enough that it could download and install the app without you having to click to confirm and/or put in a password.

ithoughtofitfirst · 01/10/2014 14:43

Oh dear.

Original poster
Phylrabbit · 01/10/2014 14:45

Good point Trills - I forgot you have to actually install apps as well as download them!! bloody hell, you get some clever websites these days don't you - getting past a password, downloaded a completely unassociated app for you (onto two devices!) and then installing the bugger for you too!

And lets not forget those apps that can delete themselves too.

OP posts:
GilesGirl · 01/10/2014 14:46

He's totally lying.

skylark2 · 01/10/2014 14:47

I'd suspect he's lying and he downloaded it deliberately.

But before I made that accusation, I'd want to be very sure that, for instance, a DC might not know a password you thought was only known to parents.

Somebody downloaded it deliberately.

squoosh · 01/10/2014 14:48

I'd feel pretty confident in saying he's lying.

soulrebel63 · 01/10/2014 14:48

Hardly crime of the century is it, most men have no emotional attachment to pornography so I don't really see what the problem is. Most men do it, but most deny it or don't get found out.

JustAPondering · 01/10/2014 14:48

Sorry to say but he's tying himself in knots trying to justify this....he's lying about something.

cherrybombxo · 01/10/2014 14:48

There is absolutely no way to "accidentally" download and install an app on an iPad. He's lying to you.

Why on earth would he do it again after you caught him out and were good enough to forgive him the first time?!

cherrybombxo · 01/10/2014 14:49

Hardly crime of the century is it, most men have no emotional attachment to pornography so I don't really see what the problem is. Most men do it, but most deny it or don't get found out

It's a DATING app, not a porn app. This is something to actually talk to other women about sex, not just look at them doing it.

Spanglecrab · 01/10/2014 14:50

Its pretty clear whats been going on really. The other thing to remember is that even the most incompetant cheats will manage to keep almost all of their lies hidden from view.

What you have here is the tip of the iceberg.

Oh and if you are the DH in question and are reading this then i think you are a cunt.

MrsCurrent · 01/10/2014 14:56

Hmm just wondering if the 2 are linked and you reinstall it will it show the activity history? Aside from that, yup, he is lying. No way porn etc could be accidentally or maliciously downloaded on an ipad or it would be on the news!

Spaceboundeminem · 01/10/2014 14:59

So sorry I a also think he is lying to you Sad

Bulbasaur · 01/10/2014 15:04

Of course he's lying.

Question is, what are you going to do about it?

It's probably a lost cause to get him to admit guilt. He probably won't. Tell him what he did, why you're upset, and what you're doing about it (ie: counseling, divorce, trial separation).

Castlemilk · 01/10/2014 15:05

Yyyyyyyyup he's lying.

Bye bye 'D'P (if you have any sense)

MrsMinton · 01/10/2014 15:11

So he accidentally clicked on it, accidentally typed the iTunes password in and accidentally set up a username and password?
Wow.
He is really accident prone.
I'm not sure he should have technology as he is such a liar so clumsy.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 01/10/2014 15:22

How old are your children and is there any way they could know the password?

(I'm really reaching here - there's only one really likely explanation).

Original poster
Phylrabbit · 01/10/2014 15:49

The kids don't know the password. It's an awkward one with mixed caps etc and even when I tested the water with DS and asked him what the password was so I could download a game he didn't know. Anyway it was downloaded via the iphone (or both) as it's on the iphone download list which nobody but DP uses.

What really pisses me off is when he tries to reassure me that he's not the cheating type by saying "I was married to my ex for 15 years and never messed around with her ... "

Oh great. Thanks DP ... so not only do you mess me around by fucking around with desperado apps and websites but you freely admit that you cared enough about your ex NOT to do the same. Cheers mate.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 01/10/2014 15:54

So.... he's a liar, doing fuck knows what on sex dating sites and thinks you are stupid.

What now ? Is this a good role model for your kids ?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 01/10/2014 16:03

Downloading apps on an iPhone is going to catch out a lot of sleezebags. Not many of them know that it automatically updates their iPads for all the world to see.

There is absolutely no way on God's earth that this/these app/s were accidentally installed. No way whatsoever.

He's got form. He's a liar (and not a particularly good one either). He's a sleezebag. He's insulting your intelligence.

FreeSpirit89 · 01/10/2014 16:04

I remember your thread from the other day, I think he's lying. I did then the fact the story's changed shoes he will never give you the truth, not the full truth you'll get versions of it that are half right until you leave it.

I'm sorry op he's obviously back to his old tricks. I wish you all the luck I'm deciding what to do with this specimen of a man

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 01/10/2014 16:10

He will only tell you as much as he thinks you know already. And then he'll start minimising it. Or making shit up to side-track you. Don't bloody fall for it.

As another poster has said, this is merely the tip of the iceberg.

Nancy66 · 01/10/2014 16:22

100 per cent lying. it's dodgy any way but he has form for this - and dares to have a go at you for not trusting him!