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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's rude to comment on someone's choice of name like this?

241 replies

ThatWasMean · 01/10/2014 14:33

I don't know if it's just pregnancy hormones that are making me feel this way so I may well be being unresonable and probably quite silly but I thought I'd ask anyway.

I'm expecting a baby girl and me and DH have already picked the name out for her. It's not a common name and in fact has never been a popular name in the UK, however it was fairly popular in the US at one point. Even though it's unusual I wouldn't say it was unheard of and it's certainly not weird or out there by any stretch of the imagination.

However there have been a couple of occasions where we've told people what we're going to name her and they've just outright said "that's a horrible name!" .

I get that it's their opinion and everybody has names they don't like. There are lots of names I don't like however I realise that other people do like them and I would never dream of telling someone that I think it's an awful name if that's what they were going to name their baby. I would just smile politely and nod.

I should add we haven't had all negative comments, there have been lots of lovely reactions too but I was just surprised that people felt the need to tell us they think it's horrible after we tell them that's what we're naming her.

Would you tell someone if you thought their chosen name was horrible?

OP posts:

MiuChoos · 02/10/2014 10:09

What on earth's wrong with Dana?! It's a lovely name! (and your friend is the one you should be dumping, not the name - she sounds like a right cow, sorry!)
I don't think you'll have to automatically correct people's pronunciation either as in my head it's automatically Dayna when reading it.
I was expecting something like Brandy or Rusty when you said American!

UnrelatedToElephants · 02/10/2014 10:37

Dana is lovely. I knew one at school and loved it then too - and she was never bullied.

cherrybombxo · 02/10/2014 10:46

I like it pronounced "dayna", I went to school with a "dah-na" and I don't think that's a very nice name. It sounds too harsh.

It's very pretty.

squoosh · 02/10/2014 10:54

It does remind me of the right wing, fruit loop, Irish singer of the same name, but that's just my cultural association, I wouldn't actually say that to you. I'd say 'lovely name'.

Cos that's what nice people do.

RegTheMonkey1 · 02/10/2014 11:05

It's a lovely name. My mother had a huge crush on the old Hollywood star Dana Andrews.

Hazelbrowneyes · 02/10/2014 11:10

I love the name Dana. I was hugely into the American show Step By Step when I was growing up and I wanted to be Dana. She was so beautiful, clever and witty.

We've chosen a very unusual girls name and have told a handful of people. The reactions have been horrific. Only two people have said "I like that!" Everyone else has screwed their faces up and said "Really, that's a bit odd. Not keen on that." The worst reaction was "ugly name".

So now I'm pretty sure we won't use it if baby turns out to be a girl. DH is adamant that we will but I don't want to saddle her with a name that is perceived to be ugly.

HippyPottyMouth · 02/10/2014 12:12

Dana's lovely, unless there's something about your surname that makes it a problem.

On the whole, I agree with the consensus that it's rude to comment negatively unless you're directly asked to. If the name does have a rude or unfortunate connotation, or problematic initials, or for some other reason is just BAD (rather than not your cup of tea), the parents need to know, and it's better to be told by a good friend than a nasty MIL. I expressed an opinion when a friend planned to name her child after a horror movie character (and obviously so), and ultimately she changed her mind after most of her friends expressed reservations.

IndiaKnightGarden · 02/10/2014 12:21

Dana is a very nice name. I can't imagine why anyone would have an issue with it. The people who have been negative about it are obviously twats.

I like Tabitha too. If I have another DD, that will be top of my name list.

We told MIL that our DD was going to be Beatrix when I was 10 weeks pregnant (rookie mistake).

MIL's response? 'Oh no, I don't like that'.

slightlyconfused85 · 02/10/2014 12:27

Ah OP Dana is pretty. You should go ahead and call your daughter whatever your like, what you like matters and it will grow on everyone else! The only lesson you should learn from this is don't tell people your name in advance because people love giving their unwanted opinions!

My real name is Megan; my parents liked it so they chose it. I am 28 now and my grandma (who loves me very much!) still tells me how she thinks it's 'silly'! It wasn't very common when I was little...

Don't worry about it.

Bigoldsupermoon · 02/10/2014 13:46

Dana's a lovely name. Maybe you should shit your rude friend up and tell her the baby's going to be called Zu'ul or Scully instead

I like a lot of two-syllable girls' names ending with an 'a' sound - think they're very elegant. I'm 40 wks pg with a girl, and the name we've got picked out follows the same pattern, so thumbs up here!

WilburIsSomePig · 02/10/2014 15:56

Dana is a really pretty name!

CarryOn90 · 02/10/2014 16:14

I was expecting something like Margaret or Gladys!

Dana is lovely and I would use this name myself. I also think of Dana the character in homeland who is absolutely beautiful

ARabbitAteMyFox · 02/10/2014 20:24

Well well OP, I am very disappointed. I was expecting something truly awful and you had me all excited.

But Dana...really?!

Dana is a beautiful name. It's actually one of my favourite names and I've always said that if I ever have a daughter that's what her name is going to be.

I always picture a classy, elegant, intelligent woman whenever I hear the name Dana (or am I thinking of a certain fictional character there?).

Either way it's lovely and I can't imagine anyone having a problem with it or imagine her being teased for it. It's also highly unlikely that she'll be one of several in her class/school.

Go for it!

lomega · 02/10/2014 20:46

Dana is a lovely name. Really pretty sounding! I love it.

I too was expecting you to say 'Ermintrude' or 'Doris' or something else old fashioned/uncommon.

BluePop · 02/10/2014 23:01

I met a baby Dana just yesterday, OP, and she was lovely. I think it's nice, unusual without being hard to spell and not so rare no-one knows how to pronounce it.
You will get criticism whatever you call your kids.
We told my aunt DS was going to be called Montague - just a name we plucked out of the air to stop her badgering us.
She said she hated it, it was ridiculous etc. Then we said it was a family name and DH's middle name, and she suddenly loved it.
It was all a lie, it's not a family name at all, and DS was always going to be Ben but people always have an opinion.

SouthernShepherdess · 03/10/2014 00:00

Dana is a nice name..you have bonkers friends if they think it is "awful"

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