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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to share a room with my OH and children

75 replies

Oneroomfourpeople · 01/10/2014 11:08

A friend is arranging a reunion and has found some accommodation which would necessitate our family sharing a double bedroom for three nights at a cost of around £100 a night. One one year old one four year old.

Also, we will have to share the two bedroom cottage either with a friend and her OH and kids and potentially two other adults sleeping on the sofa. So there will be potentially six adults sharing a bathroom and nowhere to sit down in the mornings when the kids inevitably want to roam around as there will be a childless couple asleep on the sofa bed.

I think this is a bit much for what we will get but I suspect everyone else will go along with it and I will be seen as the difficult one.

Have offered to stay elsewhere and go and see everyone during the days. also, so as not to drop feed, I don't know everyone going and also I only live about half an hour away.

I don't want to be the party pooper but it sounds horrible to me. Do I need to get a grip?

OP posts:

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 01/10/2014 11:12

Nope, sounds grim to me. I'm 43 now and delighted to say I'm too old for sofa-squatting accommodation. It's OK to crash where you land for one night, for example after a boozy party, but there's no way I'd do that for three nights.

Plus £600 for a two bed cottage for three nights sounds really dear actually.

If you're only half an hour away do you really need to stay?

millyv · 01/10/2014 11:14

To be honest it doesn't sound like a recipe for success, I would explain your reservations like you have in this post and offer to help look for alternative accommodation. It's not something I would fancy doing with my children as you know its going to be overcrowded and the couple on the sofa are going to be grumpy because children after a good night sleep like to play and make noise in the morning, however much they try to be quiet!

Good luck!

Madamecastafiore · 01/10/2014 11:16

I wouldn't stay 30 minutes from my house for anyone.

madeofkent · 01/10/2014 11:17

I think I would lie and say that both of your DCs suffer from night terrors and no-one would get any sleep. It sounds like hell on earth to me, I would want at least 6 loos with that lot.

wafflyversatile · 01/10/2014 11:19

Have you had a look for accommodation you can suggest instead?

Artandco · 01/10/2014 11:21

It sounds fine to me, but why would you need to stay if only 30mins away? That's just poping into town for most people.

If you have to stay just take some bits to keep children happy in morning if early. Few books, iPad maybe, some paper and pens. 4 year old should be able to occupy themselves with pens and books, and youngest you can help.

Mammanat222 · 01/10/2014 11:22

I would refuse point blank to go through the palaver of a weekend away (expense and hassle) if I only lived half an hour away.

amicissimma · 01/10/2014 11:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skylark2 · 01/10/2014 11:26

"I only live about half an hour away."

I'd say "I won't be staying overnight, this will make lots more room for everyone else."

ouryve · 01/10/2014 11:27

I could probably tolerate that sort of arrangement for one night, at most.

But living so close, I'd rather stay at home and join them during the day. Apart form the overcrowding, it's going to be tired grumpy kid and sleep deprived adult hell.

JudysPriest · 01/10/2014 11:27

£300 for 3 nights. Fuck that!
If you really wanted to stop out you could get a nice travel lodge family room for 1/3 of that for the 3 nights.

DayLillie · 01/10/2014 11:28

I wouldn't be bothered about the bedroom - it is the rest of the accommodation for 6 adults trying to manouvre round 2 small children.

3 doubles with ensuites, kitchen, lounge and games room would be better. Or 4.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/10/2014 11:28

Is there a reason she's organised accommodation for you when you live so close? Is that part of the reunion?

Fullpleatherjacket · 01/10/2014 11:31

I wouldn't even consider spending money to stay half an hour's drive from where I live.

Sounds to me like you'll be underwriting the costs of others. Just tell them you will be visiting daily. No discussion.

SaucyJack · 01/10/2014 11:33

I was set to say YABU if you were griping about arrangements someone else had helpfully made because you can't/won't sort yourself out.

But seeing as you don't even seem to want to stay out anyway, then YADNBU. Just stay at home- instead of subbing someone else's cottage stay.

Original poster

Oneroomfourpeople · 01/10/2014 11:35

It doesn't seem like I am then. Thank god for that. No it's not arranged around where I live it's just a coincidence I live somewhere which is convenient for everyone to get to.

I think everyone has brilliant points and I am going to say thanks but no thanks I think. Maybe we will stay one night if there is a nice hotel nearby but otherwise staying at home sounds great. Deffo to the taking breakfast ideas!!!

OP posts:

Middleagedmotheroftwo · 01/10/2014 11:38

It would depend on why you're going, and how long for.

Sharing a room with DCs - no problem

DCs rampaging through the house early morning - no problem with a bit of luck someone else will entertain them and you'll get a lie in

6 adults and 2 kids in a 6 berth cottage - fine for a weekend. Depending on the size of the cottage, maybe not so fine for a week.

It all depends on the reason for going. If it's to have a long overdue get together and catch up, with wine round an open fire on a snowy evening, then yes, I'd go even if I live 30 mins away. I'd want to spend as much time as possible with friends and share the load of looking after 2 DCs for a weekend

If it's just a conveninent place to stay for a couple of days to get to an event such as a wedding (and is a means to an end so to speak), I would save the money and drive the extra 30 mins.

whois · 01/10/2014 12:20

+1 for the idea of staying at home and turning up in the morning with some nice breakfasty items.

I wouldn't stay in such cramped accommodation with small children if I was only 30 mins away

littlehayleyc · 01/10/2014 12:32

I wouldn't worry about sharing a room with the kids, but I wouldn't want to share such a small space with people I don't know. It's a wastle of money to pay £100 a night to stay 30mins away. YANBU

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 01/10/2014 12:41

I agree with little - sharing one bedroom with DH & DCs wouldn't be an issue. Sharing a small space with people I hardly know would AND paying so much for the privilege!

The only time I have spent money to stay so close to home was after my DB & DSIL's wedding, where it was lovely to not have to bother with a taxi in the early hours of the morning and we were all able to meet up for a leisurely breakfast the next day.

In your shoes, I would say that I couldn't afford that kind of money for one room so close to home & that you will 'commute' from home.

MidniteScribbler · 01/10/2014 13:54

If I were only 30 minutes from home, then I'd just stay at home.

RiverTam · 01/10/2014 13:56

definitely not. And in all the 2 bed cottages we've ever stayed in, the bedrooms are pretty mini.

maninawomansworld · 01/10/2014 14:53

Doesn't sound much fun to me.
If you do want to stay rather than go home, then why not let the childless couple have a bedroom then at least there will be room for kids to get up and roam around when they get up without waking people who are still sleeping.

Trills · 01/10/2014 15:09

I bet the other people aren't happy either - especially the childless couple who are being asked to sleep on a sofa bed in a house with two other couples and their children!

ChickenFajitaAndNachos · 01/10/2014 15:42

No I wouldn't be happy to stay with that many people. I like the turn up with croissants idea plus you will save yourself quite a bit of money.
Do you think the others will mind you visiting and being part of the reunion without paying towards the cottage? I'm surprised that many people are allowed in a 2 bedroom holiday cottage. I can't imagine thief would be enough chairs, plates etc for 10 people. It sounds like a budget option that is actually quite expensive. I hate any kind of squeezin 'em all in mini breaks.

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