To be tired of teachers exaggerating

[onarailwaytrain]

Dd and DS (twins) in year 11 at the moment and all we have heard is how they have to get their GCSEs, their lives will be ruined if they don't, they will never get to college and never get a good job. Etc.

Dd in particular is unlikely to get many cs or above. AIBU in thinking the teachers should back off a bit?

I was told by my maths teacher that there was no chance of me getting a grade c in maths. This made me work harder to prove her wrong, which I did. I wasn't particularly academic and ended up leaving college after a term because of the stress of AS Levels. I am no a primary school teacher after studying part time and training on the job. Now considering becoming a manager at KFC after seeing their salary! Maybe then I could afford a mortgage.

Your children's lives won't be ruined if they don't pass their GCSE'S but it may well make a difference later on in life if they decide to go down a different career path like I did. For them to do the best they can is all you can ask.

I'm going to do something racy. I'm going to assume that the Op knows her children and their abilities better than I do. And then I'm going to do something even racier. I'm going to assume that the Op has come to the conclusions about their abilities not just from her own 16 years knowledge of them but from talking to experienced educational professionals. (aka teachers.)

So if Op says the are unlikely to get their 5 even if they work really really hard then I believe her.

So comments like "they need to knuckle down", "it's not hard to scape a few passes" and "maybe if you had higher expectations they'd do better" are just ridiculous.

So going on the fact that a teacher has your dc in their class - who they know can't achieve a C if their life depended on it - is it appropriate to make dire predictions as to what will happen if you don't get a C - errrr no. It's incredibly unhelpful. What the teachers need to be saying is that the better their grades, the more choice they have.

Exactly- but the problem lies in the government thinking that every child can get there - with the right teacher. Some can't and won't.
We need to stop expecting all children to be able to jump through the same hoops at the same age. The teacher knows she will be judged if they don't reach a certain standard- maybe the stress of it makes her phrase it badly.

Schools need to stop being results driven. With the league tables parents will base their opinion of the school on how many fail the government's new base line.

OP needs to speak to the teacher. DS was getting kept in to learn his spellings, I pointed out that he could be kept in until Christmas, but he still wouldn't be able to spell them and he couldn't spell them if his life depended on it!! ( despite government opinion that he had a reached an age when he should be able to spell them)

OP your DC's lives may not be ruined but they may have to stay in education till they get the "correct" grade in English and Maths.

@ delphiniums Please tell your child's school this. Please write to your MP. Please write to your local paper. Please help us to get people listening. Data helps no one, and targets which can never be achieved are pointless.

I think teachers know this. FE colleges are very unhappy! If you won't read my other link try this one the reaction of FE colleges.

I know that people don't want to know my reality in the job situation but I still don't think they understand the changes and making a fuss about this one teacher really is 'shooting the messenger' when you need to tackle the origins of the message.

Teachers would have been exaggerating last year, or maybe this year - but will they when this takes effect?

Mine are all through now, chilephilly, thankfully. However that is why I have first hand knowledge of the job situation, and particularly for the 16yr old leaver.

Delphinium, you have overtly, continuously, repeatedly (!) made your point: enough now, please.

Endlessly making the same point over and over is not going to help dd remember how to work out a percentage and it isn't going to help DS read.

Oh and I'm not talking about one teacher. It's a culture, I suppose.

Perhaps if you don't have a child who struggles - really struggles - with basic skills it's hard to understand, but because so much of a child's life is based around school achievement, it is imperative that you drill it into them that academic success is not the be all and end all, and their worth as a persons isn't defined by levels or by grades.

Otherwise you are setting them up to fail, not just at school but at life. You are teaching them that they have no value. You are teaching them that they only matter if they achieve the impossible. A bit like having a child who is gay - you love or accept them as they are or you try to change them. Most parents go for the latter and so did we!

Shaming DCs, humiliating them, goading them, jeering at them, doesn't inspire them, it just causes upset and discord. My kids could be the ugliest, slowest, bottom of the class, nine Us at GCSE and work in Maccys all their lives - I'd STILL love them and think they were the best! Wouldn't you?

We lost a baby, and it makes me laugh when people speak of ambitions for their kids, I've got one wish one hope for mine. Alive.

Late to thread, but agree with sassytheFirst re: the Spoken Language CA.

I've never taught anyone who achieved less than 8/20 on that. If I did the child & I would probably be locked in the stationery cupboard together by my HOD, until we came out with something decent...

I don't think it's even possible for even a very academically weak student to score like that if a) they are reasonably well taught & b) they work reasonably hard.

So either your dc's English teacher is beyond crap (might account for the counterproductive ranting about grade C or the dole queue), or they aren't actually working nearly hard as you think, or they have much greater SEN needs than are currently being recognised & supported by the school.

I'd certainly be requesting a meeting with someone pastoral to discuss the fact that your dc are being harangued to achieve a level, which the school's own data & assessment clearly shows are a very long way off their current attainment. Something is wrong.

I have only skimmed the thread, but I think you are coming across something very fundamental about the UK which is extremely confusing (and a bit disturbing) when you see it from the outside.

There seems to be a view that any job which is based on academic qualifications is more 'skilled' and somehow more valuable than jobs which are not.

Elsewhere in the world, children like your dc would probably already be in apprenticeships where they would be learning plenty of very real skills, just not ones you learn out of a book.

I have known people who as children really struggled to learn anything in a school context really flourish when allowed to get their hands on actual things and learn on the job - how to be masons, plumbers, electricians, farmers, woodworkers, car mechanics, horticulturalists and many other very skilled jobs.

Somehow when they were in that situation they did manage to learn plenty, and some of them went on to be very high earning/owning their own businesses. Whereas more academically bright, but not exceptional stayed on the school education system and never really got that much out of it.

And I really don't think there is a lack of jobs for competent people with any of the skill sets I have mentioned above in the UK. Just head over to the DIY/Property boards if you think so...

His English teacher is newly qualified.

It is the bottom set (8 out of 8!) and I assure you it is possible. DS does have sen - I've explained that. He has severe dyslexia. There are some really upsetting posts on here to be honest.

I will now shut up! I am only interested in the thread having a child who struggled, really struggled (IEP all his school life, reader for exams etc) He is a bright child- just not academic and his dyslexia was a handicap- he excelled once he got an apprenticeship and was down to the practical.
I too, am just pleased to have mine alive - having nearly lost one at a young age. I do understand where you are coming from.
I think the new government policy is wrong. I think the way the teacher is handling it is wrong BUT the changes are going to make a difference.
And I have found the job situation the most upsetting and stressful part of parenting (apart from the serious illness).

Sorry to upset you .

Dyslexia shouldn't be that much of an issue with that particular task, tbh.

Honestly, I've marked 20 odd of them today - I know the markscheme well - 3/20 shows that he had absolutely NO idea what he was doing. If that's the case, & genuinely reflects the level he can manage in optimum circumstances, YAdefinitelyNBU in being furious that he's being put under pressure to get a C.

For a start - if he's doing Spoken Lang it pobably means he's doing separate English Lang & Lit GCSEs.

He should be doing combined English, which doesn't include the Spoken Lang CA, & is a damn sight less text heavy.

It honestly doesn't sound as if the school is doing a fantastic job of helping him to achieve.

I posted earlier OP (banning the C word...) but after reading your later posts I just wanted to say Thank You

My sons are just little so I have no idea what it is like to parent a teenager. Your posts have helped me to understand how the education system feels to non-academic pupils and their parents. I hope some of the posts here have helped you see the situation from teachers' points of view. Most of us just want the best for your kids, but some of us don't always go about it in the right way.

I hope your DC succeed this year. They sound fabulous.

The day that a teacher wants a student to get a C solely so they can get their pay rise is probably the day to think about a career change.

If a student can get C grades they should do everything in their power to achieve them because undoubtedly that will open more doors.

Most students can get C Grades.

Some cannot. That does not mean that they cannot do anything else. If they can get D grades including Maths and English they should be able to do a level 2 course while workingto improve their literacy and numeracy. Some colleges will take students to do level 2 courses with E grades. If they have at least 2 GCSEs of any grade they can do a level one course while continuing to work on their literacy and numeracy.

Late to the thread, but wanted to read all replies before posting.

I'm a secondary teacher in a core subject and I think you should contact the school, OP, about the pressure your DC are experiencing.

This thread reads in a surreal way, as if others are reading different OP posts to me.

It seems to me that OP is just wanting staff to rephrase their 'motivating' pronouncements to take her DC's feelings and abilities into consideration.

I'd send a note in to explain how DCs are feeling and to request that when teachers speak to the whole class or year group they say something along the lines of 'Try your very best - the better you do, the more opportunities are available' without saying 'if you don't get a C, you will never get anywhere'.

This is a perfectly reasonable thing to request.

My husband didn't get a single GCSE, he's now 30 with a very sucessful building and scaffolding business, 12 men working for him, no mortgage on our home, he's funded the start up of my business and last month purchased a new land rover with no real impact on our finances.
I got A*-B grades in all GCSEs I took, and can't say it would matter if I had a single one. I love what I do, and can't imagine that ever changing.
As long as they are motivated, there are obviously far more options than fast food restaurants.

Jenny: that's it really in a nutshell :

Do your best in exams as it will give you more options.

(On results day , when necessary, you point out that the sky hasn't fallen in..)

Onewaytrain, your children are absolutely blessed to have you as their mother. Good on ya!