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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this party mother is crazy.

59 replies

Sleepswithbutterflies · 29/09/2014 07:58

With a capital C?

We went to a party last weekend for a 5 year old. They had a professional photographer who went around snapping the kids left right and centre.

This weekend all the photos are on fb (which I don't particularly agree with. I mean, it's fine for ds but no one asked and there might be kids who have parents who don't want them plastered all over fb) and the pictures have been photoshopped! The children now have whiter teeth, brighter eyes and any blemishes are gone. There was a child who has a mark from where they had a head injury and stitches - the mark is gone.
There is also a photo of a slightly chubby older girl (about 8 maybe? I didn't know her anyway, I know most of the other children) and I am 99.9% they've made her slimmer!!

Oh my god! They were mainly 4, 5 and 6 year olds and they've been photoshopped!
I'd so love to link the pictures but I can't, sadly.

Aibu to think this mother is actually slightly deranged?

OP posts:
honeysucklejasmine · 29/09/2014 08:01

A friends school did this to their annual photos. Crazy! They even got rid of freckles!

Fabulassie · 29/09/2014 08:02

That does sound bizarre. But did the mother photoshop them, or the photographer?

silverten · 29/09/2014 08:02

Personally I'd be Confused about the photoshopping but keep my mouth shut.

The FB on the other hand, would not be very happy about that...

Fabulassie · 29/09/2014 08:03

Actually, having a professional photographer at a party for a 5 year old is weird.

Sleepswithbutterflies · 29/09/2014 08:03

I don't know.
Mother is friends with photographer so presumably had some input?

OP posts:
MrsPatrickDempsey · 29/09/2014 08:03

Agree about putting the photos on FB but doubt that she would have requested the photo enhancements.

DietCoke48 · 29/09/2014 08:03

I was in the post natal ward with DS2, he was 1 day old and due to the length it took to induce me I had been in hospital 7 days already.

The Bounty photographer came round to take newborn pictures, it went okay but as she was showing me them she said 'I've noticed your DS has a mark from the birth (A cut on his forehead, I have no idea how he got it) which shows up in the photos. Don't worry we can photoshop it out!' I was so angry that I have just given birth to this perfect little boy and she wanted to photoshop him.

I ripped up the forms where I filled my address out and told her to leave Blush

TeracottaTurtle · 29/09/2014 08:03

Agree...who has a professional photographer at 5? Crazy.

Sleepswithbutterflies · 29/09/2014 08:04

It was mother's friend - she got a discount apparently so thought she may as well. It was like being at a wedding.

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 29/09/2014 08:10

Wow it's sad when young children are being photoshopped. Yes the party parents should have stated in the invite that there will be a prifessional photographer there taking photos, and any parents not happy about tge photos appearing on social media, to let them know.

scarletforya · 29/09/2014 08:14
Shock

That is really depressing.

As for the school getting rid of freckles, I would be furious (if my child had freckles) Freckles are lovely and not a blemish to be rubbed out.

Littlef00t · 29/09/2014 08:16

Ooh this would drive me up the wall. My dd has a strawberry birthmark on her eye and bil photoshopped it just for interest, it didn't look like her any more, was quit disturbing!

I'd be so irate that a random person had decided what features were not attractive and then published the photos without permission.

And don't get me started on the fact they are only 5!

fairgame · 29/09/2014 08:17

This is the sort out thing my best friend does. She has professional photos done for her kids party invites then she has 2 parties for each child! More money than sense!
Photo shopping kids is a bit wrong though.

vdbfamily · 29/09/2014 08:19

We had a similar thing when my youngest was 7. A friend was having a party for her 7 year old and had a photographer arond in the morning to do family photos.She then came to the party to take informal photos of the kids playing together.These went on to her website and we were all sent links and a code to buy the photos at a reduced rate. I got a really stunning photo of my 3 kids which really was professional quality for a tenner and was more than happy with that.It did seem a bit OTT but I was happy to benefit from it.

notagainffffffffs · 29/09/2014 08:21

Thats made me a bit sad :(

Aeroflotgirl · 29/09/2014 08:32

Dd7 goes to an Autistic school, they sourced a nice local photographer to rake tge school,photos. We were asked when we had the proofs wether there were any blemishes or narks we wanted to take out. There was a beautiful one, but she had a mark on her face as she had fallen over, so we asked fir that to be taken off, one where she was sticking out her tongue a bit, so they rehashed that a bit. But that was with our permission.

jennifersrabbit · 29/09/2014 08:35

I don't get at all why you would pay for a professional photographer but maybe if she was a friend of mine as you say I might ask a favour or mates rates. when my DD had a big party we were so busy running around we forgot to take any pics at all which was sad.

Photoshopping is just bizarre - five year olds are beautiful just as! And there will be parents who have particular needs for privacy - adoptive families, for example - who would at least like to be warned before extensive photos go up on FB.

JustShakeitoff · 29/09/2014 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Boysandme · 29/09/2014 08:39

A mark from a fall is different to natural features being photoshopped out.

That said I did photoshop a family photo but it was to take 13yo DSD's spots out. I thought that was fair.

Professional photos for a 5 yo's party though is rather OTT IMHO.

HamishBamish · 29/09/2014 08:59

Yikes! The photoshopping is out of order.

I also wouldn't be happy about them being on Facebook. I take photos at my children's parties, but alway ask the parents if they mind and would never put them on Facebook. Sometimes I send them to the parents if I get a particularly nice shot.

PenelopeLane · 29/09/2014 09:09

I'd find this weird, but then again I don't get photoshopped pics at all, even the ones where colours are changed for different effects etc. My sis had some lovely photos taken once of her on a lovely day at the beach - so all bright blues and whites - and the photographer made all of of the pics a weird sepia brown that was probably meant to look arty but just looked overdone in a way that sapped all of the natural beauty from the pic. I also don't understand when people have loads of wedding pics taken on bright sunny days against blue skies and frame the photo that looks like all of the colours have been tampered with on the computer.

Spanglemum · 29/09/2014 09:42

I think you should been asked for consent before the pictures went up on Facebook. There are lots of reasons parents don't want their children's pictures all over the Internet: adoption, children being Looked After aka In Care, nasty custody battles, nasty family disputes, just because they don't want to.
I would just email or ring and say 'could you take the pictures of my child off Facebook please? Thanks.'
You don't have to justify it. The photographer should be aware of such things even if the crazy mum isn't.

pictish · 29/09/2014 09:44

She probably though parents would be chuffed with quality photos of their kids.
While I do think she's a bit barmy, I'm sure her intentions were good.

Sleepswithbutterflies · 29/09/2014 09:50

They look a bit weird though...not like themselves. I note that the photo she has of my ds he is not wearing his glasses. I can't help thinking this is not coincidence! He wears them all the time since he can't see anything without them!

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 29/09/2014 09:55

Sleeps that's awful, it's like saying to be disabled is undesirable and abnormal. Glasses look very cute btw.

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