Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is going to be sweary, Future MIL. Aibu to ignore her for a day

70 replies

prettywhiteguitar · 28/09/2014 17:08

Mil in shop today, "I hear you had a near miss with twins " - laughs

Me- well if you call a near miss a dead baby then yes

I had my 12 week scan which showed 1 heathy normal baby and one that had stopped growing at about 8 weeks

I fucking hate her right now, stupid ignorant cow

Not only did she start the conversation in a bloody shop, but she had no idea how I felt about it. Just assumed that I would be happy that one of my babies died.

I have pretty much ignored her since then, just polite nods.

I just wanted to rant on here so I don't tell her to feck off home

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 28/09/2014 17:09
Thanks

I am so sorry for your loss.

Your MIL sounds dreadful. YWBU to ignore her for a very long time.

JanineStHubbins · 28/09/2014 17:10

Fuck, that's horrible. Sorry for your loss Thanks

FrootLoopy · 28/09/2014 17:11

Bloody hell!

I think I would have had to walk away or I'd have been tempted to deck her.

Well done on your restrained response.

And so, sorry about your partial miscarriage.

Original poster
prettywhiteguitar · 28/09/2014 17:11

She is just inane not deliberately horrid, but thank you.

I knew if I came in here you lot would understand

OP posts:
kentishgirl · 28/09/2014 17:11

I'm very sorry about your baby Flowers

MIL is a complete arse.

Tell your partner, and get him to tell her how crass she was and that you are both grieving for your baby.

MammaTJ · 28/09/2014 17:11

I would have told her to fuck off there and then.

Sorry for your loss.

My MIL, the mother of my now Ex said to him when I had a miscarriage 'It's just as well as it is too soon to me having a baby'. We had been married for over a year. I still don't know why he felt the need to pass that little nugget on to me.

HypodeemicNerdle · 28/09/2014 17:12

Bloody hell OP, I think just ignoring her for 1 day would be an under reaction, what an awful thing to say to you.

I'm very sorry about your twin baby Flowers

I'd get your DH to tell her in no uncertain terms that it was vile of her to say that and she owes you a huge apology

Original poster
prettywhiteguitar · 28/09/2014 17:12

I said to her that I had actually found it very sad and that I didn't really want to talk about it. Then turned my back on her

OP posts:
2plus1plus1 · 28/09/2014 17:12

What a truly awful thing to say. I'm so sorry you've had to listen to such stupidity.
I would at some point, not now, tell her what a horrid thing she said.

She clearly had no understanding and maybe just maybe she didn't know how to broach it with you - I'm not excusing what she said and how bad it will have made you feel.

Go home now on your own. Don't stay with her any longer

Flowers
princessconsuelobananahammock · 28/09/2014 17:13

I was going to say yabu as I don't usually agree with punishing people by silence...but then I read your post. She is a moron. You'd be justified in ignoring her forever IMO. So sorry for your loss.

FlossieTreadlight · 28/09/2014 17:13

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you had to hear that kind of insensitive shit.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/09/2014 17:13

SO sorry prettywhiteguitar that's awful. Flowers

How do you think you will handle this with her?

SweepTheHalls · 28/09/2014 17:15

What an awful thing to say. I think I would find it challenging to have anything to do with her at all. Flowers

FryOneFatManic · 28/09/2014 17:16

Thanks So sorry for your loss. YAabsolutelyNBU. I would also tell your DH in case she complains to him that you're ignoring her.

HumphreyCobbler · 28/09/2014 17:18

That is a dreadful thing to say to you Sad

You were very restrained but you did say what you needed to say. I am so sorry you lost your baby.

Inertia · 28/09/2014 17:20

I'm so sorry for your loss. You have been very restrained under the circumstances.

Original poster
prettywhiteguitar · 28/09/2014 17:21

I am just being cool with her, we are all together with dp and dcs going for dinner. I told him what she said and he rolled his eyes and looked pissed off.

Thing is she is a nice woman just daft, she knows she pissed me off so I'm just going to leave it. We hardly ever see them so there's no point saying owt.

Silently fricking fuming, we have 2 dc's so twins would have been fine . but in her mind she's like 'phew' Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
prettywhiteguitar · 28/09/2014 17:25

I am actually a bit cross cause I didn't realise that dp had told them.

I didn't tell my mum cause I knew I would get a similarly offensive comment.

OP posts:
LittlePeaPod · 28/09/2014 17:27

Thanks I am so sorry Op. how awful.

Castlemilk · 28/09/2014 17:28

Going for dinner?

Don't.

Go home.

Say you're not well and not up to it. And don't apologise, just say you need to go home. Now. And they can all read between the lines.

STUPID FUCKING BITCH!!!

Ad let her query your OH, and he can reply to her - well, what the hell do you expect, you just utterly trivialised the death of one of our babies, a subject you shouldn't even have RAISED in the first place, let alone in public in a shop, you inane, stupid, thoughtless person. And then he can tell her to stay well away from you for more than a few weeks.

LittleBearPad · 28/09/2014 17:29

Thanks op.

Is she likely to apologise or hope it just goes away

Castlemilk · 28/09/2014 17:30

Oh, and then you can let rip at your DP and point out to him what should be obvious - your pregnancy, your medical situation, YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS UNLESS YOU ARE CONSULTED ON TELLING ANYONE ELSE!

I'd go more nuts at that I think OP.

Go home and make it clear that you are utterly fucked off and upset rather than sit there and make them all happy. Teach your stupid prat of a DP a lesson too.

ABowlofPetunias · 28/09/2014 17:32

What a fucking fucker.
I can't believe anyone would be that insensitive. What a complete cow.

reallywittyname · 28/09/2014 17:33

^what everyone else said.

I'm so sorry you lost one of your babies Flowers

Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well. More Flowers and Cake

AlwaysLurking38 · 28/09/2014 17:33

So sorry for your loss Thanks

You did well to not go nuclear. How very hurtful. I agree with Castlemilk, don't stay out for the meal. Go home, have a nice bath and try and chill out. Do not spend your evening with someone who is so disrespectful and rude

Swipe left for the next trending thread