to think "if you like it, put a ring on it" is a revolting expression?

[ArsenicFaceCream]

Women are using it about themselves!

WTF is going on?

I do think you are in danger of taking the song, the video, the meaning, and indeed, yourself, a little too seriously.

It's the use of 'it' and the implication that the woman doesn't have a choice in the matter as well.

Exactly that Shop, seems a bit of a shame in 2014.

Ha, no, just my opinion. I can't say it's something I think about daily, just agree with the OP here. Also, as I said, it's not just this song. There seems to be a growing trend of calling women 'it' and I don't like it. As a woman. Not an it. Each to their own though.

Funny when we have threads pages long with women up in arms about Mrs vs. Ms.

Can't say I'd thought about it much either until I read it three times in a week (not in reference to the song) .

It is the 'it' that jars, you're quite right. I probably don't want to think too hard about the general trend of refering to women as 'it' that really would annoy me

But is "it" actually referring to the woman?
Could it not be as I just said a few posts back: "If you liked it (being with me), you should've put a ring on it (my finger)".
Do women really refer to themselves as "it"?

Margot, that interpretation works in the context of the music video, but when women are writing it down without that context, or even when you hear the song without seeing the video, it does sound like women are calling themselves "it"

(PS No she didn't. But Jerry did love Barbara )

I think they should've just swapped tbh .

I'm with Pictures. And for the comment that marriage isn't the be all... Well no, of course not. But then, neither is having children, and it's seen as highly insensitive for women with children saying the same to someone ttc. There are certain things people want to 'achieve'/experience in life, and to want a marriage is a normal and reasonable want and expectation out of life.

I agree that the "it" part is objectifying women, but I've found the song helpful when I've had friends who want more commitment in dead end relationships with cock lodgers and losers, to demonstrate to them it is widely accepted that if a man loves you enough, he will show it.

Hmmm, I disagree I'm afraid. I think there's an incredibly old fashioned attitude implicit in this statement under discussion; the attitude being that women are breathlessly waiting for 'their men' to produce the hallowed diamond ring (costing a month's salary of course), get down on one knee and pop the question.

"If you liked it, then you should've showed some commitment" to paraphrase someone else up thread.

I also disagree with the analogy with having children. A couple can live together in an entirely committed manner without being married; the only tangible difference being a certificate and a ring. Having children is completely different to being childess.

I was disagreeing with noodle.

There are certain things people want to 'achieve'/experience in life, and to want a marriage is a normal and reasonable want and expectation out of life.

So you discuss that with your partner don't you, if it doesn't unfold naturally? You don't just passively hang around waiting for the man to issue a 'yay or nay'? Marriage isn't a decision a man makes for a couple.

It always makes me think of cock rings for some reason boak!

I think of hoopla rings, and it feels sexist to me: like the choice lies purely with the man, and all the woman gets to do is accept or whine. That is not empowerment.

Jeez I am 54 and I get "it".

"It" is the relationship. if you like it, and you want it to continue, then put a ring on "it" (the finger) and let's have some public commitment and legal status, or I'll fuck the fuck off

I prefer female assertiveness, however it's expressed.

LOVE that Mexican breakfast video, Lou, thanks!

Given that one of the later lyrics is about ownership (say I'm the one you own), I really don't think it's a terribly positive or assertive song, besides which surely the assertive woman would be the one proposing, not the one complaining about the lack of proposal/commitment?

I like the analysis here, and more especially the comments.

It's all relative .

I've seen many a thread on here talking about partners who fail to commit after several years and often more than one child.

I'd take the Beyonce approach over that kind of waiting and wondering any day.

To me its an update of Aretha's R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

I think Aretha's paen had a lot more dignity olga and less twerking

Well, I think there is power in being submissive. Can a woman not choose to have a relationship where the man proposes, then they marry?

And sure, people can live together in a committed relationship, but if you want a marriage not cohabiting, it's a valid choice. Just as a childless woman may want a child they've given birth to and not one they've adopted. I'm for freedom and choice.

Well, I think there is power in being submissive.

I have no idea what to say to that.

Can a woman not choose to have a relationship where the man proposes, then they marry?

Clearly she can if he proposes.

If he doesn't then she has options to propose herself, discuss as equals or wait. Always supposing she sees marriage as essential/highly desirable/non negotiable. For some reason I cannot grasp, the first two options don't seem very popular.

Oh yeah Arse. Of course women had so much more DIGNITY and RESPECT back in 1967.

No woman I know would want to ask a man who can't be arsed to ask.

The truth is there's no self respect in that!

Of course you can choose to hope that your partner/boyfriend proposes rather than take action yourself and initiate a conversation about the future. Not sure how that can be considered a powerful position to adopt though. Certainly it's quite passive.

Looking at the lyrics of RESPECT, I'm not sure about that either! Apparently it was originally written by Otis Reading, and so was about a man demanding respect from his wife. Interesting to turn it on it's head bu having a woman sing it, and it's certainly a powerful sounding song.