To ask how you feel about hugging your therapist?

[missanxiety]

Not in a sexual other otherwise inappropriate way.

I was very upset in my appointment yesterday. I text my therapist last night and she offered hugs if I get upset again. Would you find it comforting, or would it make you worse if you were upset? I'm trying to work out how I would feel and what might make things feel better in the situation again.

I'd think that's odd. And I think you do too...which is why you're asking on here.

Hugs make me feel better so I would welcome a hug :)

Er, not appropriate! The therapist is not meant to be your friend.

therapist as in counsellor?

Not something I would ever do unless saying goodbye to a client on their last session and that would be led by them

Why are you texting her out of a session as well was that encouraged

Hugs with the right people make me feel better too. Trying to work out whether the therapist is one of the right people for me.

MrsWinnibego, I don't have black and white feelings around it. I am naturally cautious but also it appeals to me. That is why I am asking on here.

I don't think hugging or texting is professional from the therapists view - unless a quick hug from patient on their last session

Psychotherapist, not a counsellor. Yes, texting outside of sessions is encouraged.

FrediansSlipper, I am assuming your modality and approach is somewhat different?

My bereavement counsellor hugs me at the end of the session. I'm not a particularly touchy feely person but I don't seem to mind. I am emotionally drained after a 90 minute session and would hug a lamp post if it would hug me back!

Very inappropriate. But then I am very uncomfortable with physical contact, even with close friends.

I'm not sure.

I don't think you should be able to text your therapist at all. It's breaking a boundary.

However, I'm a nursing auxiliary and often receive hugs and kisses from my patients. I only initiate if appropriate - if a patient has received bad news, if they are highly distressed. Or equally, if we can celebrate together. But 9% of the time they initiate and I would never, ever kiss a patient myself. A hug is as far as I'd offer. A bit of.human.contact is essential to a.positive.working relationship.

But I wouldn't 'plan' these things, it becomes a bit inappropriate if planned in my opinion.

Clients often want to be hugged they often want to call/text but this is what boundaries are for and they need to be kept for yourself and your therapist

I am interested in you texting her and why she replied was this not spoken about during your first session ?

Definitely not appropriate.

I have been hugged by my CPN and by an OT from the CMHT I didn't find it weird.

Callaird, that sounds similar to me, I get so emotionally drained part of the reason it appeals to me is I think it could help with that.

So sorry you are going through bereavement counselling btw.

I did text mine, but it was usually things like, "Traffic bad, will be a bit late." She texted me back with things like, "OK, don't worry."

We did hug at the end of our last session, but it sort of came naturally, and it was the only time. I'd have found it weird to have text hugs, though.

My therapist offers a hug if I would like one at the end of her sessions, and I always accept. Definitely helps me and makes me feel better.

But mine is more of a coaching kind of therapy, nothing "serious". We have also had clear discussions about appropriate/inappropriate interactions in the course of our sessions.

FreudiansSlipper - I don't think it is helpful for you to dismiss all approaches that are different to yours as wrong. Texting my therapist is not a boundary violation. Her boundaries are different to yours, that doesn't make it bad.

Plenty of therapists allow and encourage contact in between sessions, because it is what some clients need in order to open up and attach.

I think it is inappropriate for a friendship to develop and inappropriate to hug. The training explains why it shouldn't happen so I am rather surprised by this.

i hate hugging. what's the point?

She is definitely not my friend.

Nigella, I find it hard to say why exactly hugs are nice if you are a huggy person but they are. Obviously not for those that don't like them.

I've had many therapists. One of mine set down boundaries asking me not to contact her for support between sessions which was fine because it wasn't my style either. One of them encouraged me to email her/write to her because I found it easier to communicate that way. That therapist was the least tactile therapist of the lot but that was fine. I had one when I was a teenager who was very tactile and I did get over attached. It still hurts even all these years later, so I am wary of comfort touching in therapeutic situations.

IMO therapist offering or initiating hugs is not appropriate.

Oh and I do DBT and texting for coaching inbetween sessions is encouraged.