Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hope having a toddler and newborn IS easier than pregnancy and a toddler?

112 replies

Keepontrudging · 27/09/2014 19:02

Please let me just start by saying this is a moany post- but ultimately I am immensely happy and cannot wait for my son to arrive in January :)
But... Quite frankly ...I cant imagine it being easier with a newborn and a toddler, but then again I am struggling! I am only 25 weeks and Lordy do I feel it now ! This pregnancy has been very draining due to multiple scares/high risks etc. Emotionally i have been drained, but things are looking up in that aspect as we have been assured it is likely all should be ok. However, lately the physical side of things is really taking its toll. I don't sleep well due to hip pain, I struggle the stairs due to the hip pain and I am getting breathless easier. Everything seems to take a lot of effort in the mornings esspecially. I am on meds for thyriod and aneamia - so i will discuss a review of this to ensure i am on the right amount (They should be doing this for me, but sadly i have to chase them!)

My dd is 17 months old, she is VERY active. She my world and I wouldn't have her any other way, but she is more on the demanding side bless her... She's very bright so I guess this is a product of that. Her brightness has lots of pros (more than cons) so I am obviously grateful too. Anyway, I am sat here thinking how much harder physically this pregnancy is going to be...in terms of bending down/lifting dd/sleeping and I am worried... it would be somewhat comforting to atleast be assured this is the toughest part? Right? the pregnancy is the most testing part....? (gulp)

OP posts:
Original poster
Keepontrudging · 27/09/2014 21:59

mrsmooks-thanks for your advice , and others re:hip pain. I still suffered with it for about 8 months after dd so there is NO WAY I am ignoring it this time. I have midwife apt mond and will discuss then. I have bad varicose veins on that leg though, so the whole leg is in discomfort...I have fantasised about just chopping the fucker off on a bad night :) haha

OP posts:
MonoNoAware · 27/09/2014 22:11

One more thought; I struggled to adapt to the whole looking after a baby, constant interruptions and getting up in the night thing with DC1. It was a steep learning curve! To my immense surprise, there was no such period of adaptation with DC2. She just slotted into the routines we already had with DC1 and she was by no means an easy baby The DC are 4 and 5 now and it would be a huge shift to go back to looking after a baby, but when you've never really left the baby years it's all just more of the same.

Given the choice, I opt for exactly the same gap again.

passmethewineplease · 27/09/2014 22:13

YANBU. I think it all depends on what sort of pregnancy and newborn you have!

I am currently pregnant with DC3 (36+1) and lugging about an 11 month old with the stroller in toe as well as trying to get DD to school on time is hell.

I ache everywhere, have low BP and anaemia, PGP, I am huge. I cannot bend down to put my own socks on.

For me it will definitely feel easier physically, emotionally? We'll see.

LiegeAndLief · 27/09/2014 23:09

I'm starting to think I must have had a ridiculously easy pg. Can't believe all these posters saying newborn and toddler was easier!

I mean, I believe you all, obviously I don't think you're lying, but still incredulous...

Cheepypeepy · 28/09/2014 06:02

LeigeAndLeif

I suspect you did lucky you!

I never 'bloomed' even in the first when I could lie down all the time I wasn't working - I went from tired to sick and tired to fat and tired. . .

There was a sort of vitality that came back being able to properly interact with Dc1 even in between breast feeding dc2 and no sleep etc was lovely

Not saying there weren't moments though Grin

Ber2291 · 28/09/2014 06:43

What???

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 28/09/2014 08:03

It's easier? I have a 2 year old. and a 7 week old who likes to feed continually. How is it easier?

combust22 · 28/09/2014 08:06

Depends on the individual.

I found it much harder with a newborn and a toddler. Newborn was breastfeeding every hour.

Chunderella · 28/09/2014 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ithoughtofitfirst · 28/09/2014 08:09

I am really fed up with pregnancy but still remember how intense it is having a newborn so i'm kind of dreading it with a toddler. I'll find out in about 2-3 weeks what's easier!

tumbletumble · 28/09/2014 08:13

For me, baby and toddler was easier than pregnancy and toddler. I didn't have a particularly difficult pregnancy either. DC2 was a bit of a dream baby though.

Then I decided that 3 DC would be a doddle. Big mistake!!

MokunMokun · 28/09/2014 08:14

I haven't read the full thread but moan away! I was exhausted throughout my last pregnancy. So much easier now the baby is here. I may have sleepless nights and feel tired but it's not that all consuming exhaustion not that constant aching and unable to get comfortable. Plus you get adorable baby snuggles. Good luck and hang in there!!

ithoughtofitfirst · 28/09/2014 08:29

Mmmmm baby snuggles.

HavanaSlife · 28/09/2014 08:35

22 momth gap here, I found it harder. Ds3 was very demanding, luckily ds4 was a very easy going baby other than the first few months of constant feeding. Also had school run with ds2 which didnt help.

TwoLittleTerrors · 28/09/2014 08:35

I have a 3.5yo and a newborn. It is easier only because DD1 is in nursery full time! And in the weekends my DH is around. I'm dreading being on my own with 2 of them in a couple of weeks time when DD1 starts part time in nursery. Can't see how it's easier.

trixymalixy · 28/09/2014 08:38

Wasn't easier for me, sorry. I felt like I never got a break with a toddler and a newborn.

HavanaSlife · 28/09/2014 08:38

Oh and having to take someone with you everywhere, even the loo as they could not be left in the same room together. Everything took twice as long as couldnt just nip upstairs to grab washing get dressed etc

I always find it a relief not to be pg anymore though, I have terrible pregnancies.

HavanaSlife · 28/09/2014 08:39

I bought a slow cooker in the end , which made cooking easier at least

Original poster
Keepontrudging · 28/09/2014 08:41

Thanks mokun...mmm baby snuggles :)
Yes, yes to the aching constantly. Last night I woke about 5 times in total, uncomfortable, achey and hot- that was agood night too as I wasn't awake long, or in too much pain. I know it sounds rather incredulous it could possivly be easier having the newborn here, but when you take into account all these physical issues and also the total mental FOG I have ALL the time, its not too dramatic a concept. I am still keeping an open mind though obviously, if I had another newborn like dd I know 100% it would be difficult, as she never napped in the day-it was very odd. She was sicky too. Alls I can do is wait and see... But bearing in min I am only 25 weeks, I do think this pregnancy is going to take things to a whole new level of difficult as I get bigger etc!
I have also had a very worrying pregnancy with no real honeymoon period- I have either been sick and dog tired, worried sick about the baby (due to high risk results for downs/heart issue/potential growth probs) and ALWAYS exhausted. Always. So when the baby is here I think I will be so relieved to hold him and know he is ok ... that will be a massive relief in itself. I go back to, I really think a lot depends on your pregnancy and the subsequent newborn, it would seem!

OP posts:
Original poster
Keepontrudging · 28/09/2014 08:43

dog rough*

OP posts:
Original poster
Keepontrudging · 28/09/2014 08:45

havan- I have already got that bad boy on my xmas list (slow cooker)

OP posts:
formerbabe · 28/09/2014 08:49

I found a toddler and a newborn horrendously difficult! I still feel guilty about how much time my eldest spent watching cbeebies!

Eva50 · 28/09/2014 09:04

I had sections with all of mine and quick recoveries each time. The first two were emergencies but ds3 was elective and it was lovely. I didn't go into labour so was not too tired before I started. I was reasonably, but not especially fit beforehand and 42 with ds3 - although no toddler that time ds1 & ds2 were almost 11 and 9. The complete shock of a first baby can never be replicated. I'm sure it will be fine.

feelingdizzy · 28/09/2014 09:13

I had relatively easy pregnancies, so being pregnant was ok for me. Sorry but toddler and new-born ,that's hard work, really hard work. sorry. Good now though they are 11 and 12 , just starting to get up now after a lie in, get their own breakfast ,whilst I Mumsnet. Worked out ok in the end .

BeeInYourBonnet · 28/09/2014 09:37

Blimey, I'm surprised at these responses! My experience was that toddler and newborn was MUCH harder (sorry OP!). Toddler weeing on the floor whilst I was bf baby. Taking HOURS to leave the house. Mealtimes with as constantly feeding nb and as foid refusing toddler. Constantly feeling like I needed to clone myself.

Worth it though I have to say that don't i !