To consider moving to Sydney and uproot my DH and two DC for two years...

[MrsDe]

Hi all, I've just been told that there is now a real opportunity for me to embark on a secondment in Sydney for two years starting January. Amazing opportunity and we're seriously considering it (currently live in London).

I'm chatting to HR about further details but to be honest they seem pretty clueless and I've never done anything like this before. I'm trying to be objective and work out whether it is something that is good for the family overall or whether I'm being totally unreasonable and selfish in thinking about it.

I have two children six and four and DH is a teacher so will not work initially but would like to eventually if he can. He says he's up for it and fully supports me but I do feel guilty uprooting him.

Am I mad to even consider this with a young family? My job is quite full on and so potentially long hours (which I do in the UK anyway). But what level of salary will this be achiveable on one salary alone?

We will rent out our current house which will cover our UK mortgage/letting fees etc and we're not big spenders or have any other debt and currently manage in the UK with private school fees etc so think we can do this on one salary but I could be just totally naive? Aware of the school fees for professionals on visas etc.

Gosh, sorry about the length of this post! I'm just not sure whether I'm being unreasonable in thinking this is a great opportunity - or am I being selfish and focussing on my career ahead of my family?

Dcs are 6 and 4.

In the process of working out the relocation package now. Holidays are proving the most difficult - apparently Australian's only have 20 days holiday a year and that's what mine would drop to - lower than what I have now.

But financially yes it could mean that we have the chance to save quite a bit of money with our mortgage being covered while we're there.

You sound like me in reverse. I've got no advice for you (sorry) but I wish you lots of luck, and maybe we can compare notes! My dh is being seconded to Sydney and we are all moving out in Jan for three years, dd is 7 and dts are 4. Going for three years, wouldn't have uprooted for less (if it had only been dh and I we would have, but felt it was too much upheaval for the dc). We both work at the moment, but I plan to take a couple of months to settle the kids before looking for a contract.

Have you looked at rents and so on for a comparable house in a comparable area to where you live now? What about comparing child care costs for any wrap-around care you'd need? I know Sydney is very expensive, although what that really means in comparison to London I'm not sure.

I think if you're keen, though, it's a good age for the children: old enough to remember it and get something out of it, but you'll be back in good time to prepare for secondary school choices etc for your oldest. Would you be able to get the chlidren back in to their current schools when you came back?

I would hesitate if I thought DH wasn't really keen, or if I had any serious reservations about how the children would manage - i.e. if either of them have any difficulties already (e.g. at school) or if either of them were unusually fragile/sensitive/found change very difficult. Otherwise it sounds like an adventure!

If you were someone posting to say their husband was being seconded for two years to an amazing career progressing secondment in Sydney, should you go, most people would say with that age kids go for it if the money is right and you all want it. On that basis I would say go for it.

This is not that unusual, I have a friend who did this for six months he's a medic, they loved it and it's been a highlight they return to again and again as a family.

The downsides are schools (if they have places will they lose them and are you happy with the choices if you return) and general life disruption but beyond that, this is probably not a bad time to go- much harder once they are in top primary/secondary although again, I do know families who have done between one and three year secondments (e.g. to do a Masters or a PhD abroad) and then returned with no major issues.

Only you can know if this would work for your family in your particular circumstances right now.

I'd forget about the Austrailia bit and ask yourself whether you would move your children location and school twice in two years?

The only other issue which I'd possibly worry about is there are few international school in OZ (british)
If it applies here, would you want your children to move to the Austrailian system and then back to the british one in a short space of time.

I have to say, I would be very tempted!

Yes we've looked at rental prices and also waiting for confirmation of level of contribution which obviously has an impact.

Schooling will be cheaper as we are private at the moment but if we go state (in a good area) then even with the visa costs of having to pay for education it is still cheaper. We're checking wrap around care.

I think DH is really keen and up for it. I've also met with DCs' headteacher to discuss it with her and she said it would be beneficial for them and she obviously knows how they are doing. Agreed it is the best timing as we'll be coming back mid yr4 for my eldest.

Re schooling on return, though current school can't offer any set guarantees they have said that we will stay at the top of the waiting list and so hopefully will be able to get back into the school on our return which is one of our main concerns.

RE the change in systems - I covered this with the headteacher and she said as long as you keep up with reading, writing and maths then the return should be ok.

I know it's easy to say, but I'd do it in a heartbeat. But I feel strongly that living overseas is a wonderful experience for DC so I'm biased.

What does your DH teach? If it's a shortage subject, he might be able to get a job out there. Or do an exchange through the Commonwealth Exchange programme, though it might be late for that now.

But definitely go for it.

I would ask for your company to send you on a visit before deciding? Economy return flights shouldn't put a big dent in their annual travel budget and I would also ask about what would happen after the secondment.

I have a friend who lived in Australia for 4 years and moved back, they have a lovely child who did fantastic at School about to start Uni and they have regular trips back to visit friends.

I would do it in a heartbeat, well I cant now as they are going througn A-levels and GSCE's, but would have done when the children were younger.
Then again, I took my 1yo and 3yo to Germany, we came back 2 years later. They both started nursery/school out there. They dont remember a thing.

I am jealous, I went to Sydney in April and it was wonderful, the weather was torrential, but lovely.
Good Luck :D

Teachers used to be able to do an exchange (including homes). One of my colleagues did it for a year (AFAIK teaching posts aren't permanent in Australia - the education authorities move you from school to school) and it worked reasonably well - they went on to emigrate!

Would that be an option for your DH?

Go for it. We moved to Singapore when our DC were the same age as yours and it was an amazing opportunity to see and experience new places and we still all have great memories of being there. We initially intended to go for 2 years and stayed for 3 and a bit. Transition in and out for the children was not as bad as I feared. Much will depend on the package - make sure you have decent health cover and that the contribution to rent is enough to allow you to live somewhere reasonable and not too far from your work. Good luck!

Go, go. Your husband is willing. The kids are young and will not be traumatized, quite the contrary, they'll see the world. All of you may love it so much you refuse ever to come back.

Great, thanks all. Waiting for the terms to come through from HR but will focus on Health insurance and contribution for accommodation.

Oh it will be wonderful and your kids will learn all about a new country and be more well rounded. I'd do it and I am so jealous of you have fun

Go for it. It'll be great fun, and the children are a good age for it. It would be more disruptive if they were their teens.

Go for it. It sounds great and your DH is up for it, and if he's not working initially why will you need wrap around care?
Presumably this will only be needed once he does get a teaching job in which case you'll be on your feet and accustomed to everything plus his income will help to cover costs.

I went to three different primary schools in totally different areas and it certainly didn't damage me, you're kids will find it a big adventure if you prep them right.

I would do it. It would be great for your kids. But you need a good package

Gosh, just go.

If DCs were 16 and 14 then it's more complicated but 6 and 4? An ideal time for an adventure.

But make sure you have a sensible agency dealing with the renting of your UK house, not someone doing you a favour or renting to friends.

I'd do it in a heartbeat. All the issues you have listed sound resolvable with some planning. It's good to be cautious about finances etc... but you only get one life as well and I think your family will have a great time and some special experiences.

FWIW almost everyone I know who ever moved abroad for (a "couple of years" ends up staying a lot longer, you never know what opportunities will arise. My 1 year in Tokyo turned into 5 years and my subsequent 2 years in Los Angeles turned into 12 years and we now live in the Pacific Northwest. I don't have kids yet so it's easy for me to say do it but I have so many friends who have done this with children. It sounds very exciting!

I would leap at it. As a child I moved around a lot, to some amazing places, and although it had a few downsides I wouldn't swap it. I have two siblings who've moved to Australia/NZ and they never came back.

Would be a fantastic experience - Sydney is lovely, and if you do return after 2 years, your children are young enough for it not to be a problem. And it's great that you've got their current Head on board. Hope it works out for you!

I would jump at the chance, my dh almost went to Singapore for 2 years, I am a teacher too, can your dh take a 2 year sabatucal from his job and return to it, my friend did this when her dh got a job in the US for 2 years.