OP, the only reason people are telling you to settle is because they need to make themselves feel better about their own shitty relationships and birthdays. There's a study that hired people to do a really boring menial, pointless task and paid them different amounts. The people that were paid only a dollar said they liked it and the task was fun. The people that were paid 20 dollars said it was boring. The low paying people had to trick themselves into thinking this was a fun task otherwise, it would not have been worth such crappy pay. The only reason these posters think that no birthday celebrations are ok, or that the minimum is fine is because they're doing mental gymnastics.
I love my birthday celebrations, and DH is expected to do something nice for me and put me first for a day. Just like he is expected to give me a sweet and thoughtful gift at holidays, just like he is expected to do something nice with me on our anniversary. These are not unreasonable expectations.
On my birthday, DH makes sure to get my birthday weekend off from work so we can go out and celebrate. It doesn't even have to be something monetary. Last year we were broke so we had a walk along the river, got a couple snow cones, he made me my favorite dish, and we had birthday sex got to spend quality time together. It was fantastic, and barely cost him a dime (except for the dinner, but we'd have to buy food birthday or not). Really, I sort of like broke birthdays better because he has to get creative and write poetry or give me feet massages. :)
You do not have to fall over with gratitude because your DH was trying to do the bare minimum for your birthday. That's a shit attitude he's taken. If he can't get away with doing the bare min, he's not going to do anything? This is acceptable, why? You are not cutting off your nose to spite your face, you are quite rightfully telling him this is bullshit behavior. He didn't even care enough to put you first on a day that he knew was important to you, because you told him. It's not like you're expecting him to be a mind reader here.
Birthday aside, this is a sign of a bigger problem. How does he normally treat you? Does he normally value you? Does he help out around the house, help with the baby? Does he usually respect you?
Typically, these sort of things are part of an ongoing pattern. If your DP wasn't respecting you or valuing you before, it's not going to suddenly change on your birthday.
I'd go out and do something for yourself. Go on a (reasonable!) shopping spree. Even if it's just getting something small, like nail polish or whatever you're into. Go to a cafe and treat yourself to lunch, you can take a baby with you there. Your DP has made it clear you can't count on him for a good birthday, so you're going to have to make it one for yourself. Treat yourself because you love yourself to give yourself a treat on your birthday. :)