to ask if you take drugs (legal or not) even if you have kids?

[dextersdarkpassenger]

I'm not talking about caffeine or drugs which are considered (mostly) benign but either illegal or prescription drugs. Do you think it has helped your parenting (or helped through difficult aspects of parenthood)? Just curious as I often wonder if I am alone as this seems quite taboo but I think drugs have really helped me deal with being depressed and being a good(ish) mum and cope with things that I don't think I'd handle too well otherwise (I smoke cannabis, not around my kids).

I just found out my friend has been smoking weed for years (thought she'd given up like the rest of us did in mid-20s, now 40) and more recently has used it to 'help' her get through a tough year (cheating partner, financial difficulties etc). I struggle with what to say to her about it, but it seems blindingly obvious to me that the weed has been responsible for many of her bad decisions. It explains a hell of a lot to me now about her flakey attitude to life, leaving things up to 'fate' instead of proper planning, and going along with the crap attitude of her DP instead of putting her foot down. I love her to bits, but it did swiftly diminish my sympathy when I realised that she was still, in her own words 'a pothead'. It also fucked me off that I'd had to help her out with cash for essentials and yet she'd clearly been able to keep herself in weed.

YABU, OP. If you're using weed, you are not coping, you are not dealing with reality. If you're a student with time to spare, fair enough. But as a responsible parent, it's a bit pathetic.

manicinsomniac I take it you were abusing your own child's Ritalin prescription, hence your user name?

As it's highly controlled and strictly rationed I am going to assume your child didn't really need it, if you were managing to take it sufficient quantities to have that kind of effect on you!

woah, that's quite a bunch of assumptions dontdrink !!

No, the Ritalin wasn't prescribed to my child and I didn't choose my username based on a drug dependency in my past!

Well I had heard that people who abuse Ritalin do become manic and insomniac!

Those of you who regularly smoke weed, if you're not growing it yourself, where on earth do you get it from?

I'm not in the least bit interested in smoking it myself, as white wine is my drug of choice, but I'm always curious to know where on earth I would go if I suddenly decided I wanted to!

I have never used any illegal drugs, and only take my prescribed dose of my own medication.
Anyone I know that does use drugs are a bit arseholey. Drugs especially cocaine has brought misery to so many people.

Your question is too broad to answer fully, but I would consider the following very important when drug taking with children is involved.

Are substances suitably stored? Is drug paraphernalia stored away safetly out of children's reach? Are you able to respond to a child in a consistent way to if you were not taking the substance?

These would apply equally to prescription drugs, a glass of white wine and to a shot of heroin. I would argue that drugs don't necessarily make bad parents but that a shitty parent does tend to be an even shittier one when off their head.

I personally think its like comparing having a glass of wine or two bottles whilst caring for you children.

The first is absolutely fine, but the latter really is risky. But its. Same thing.

Valium, yes Ive taken this whilst looking after my children when I hurt my neck and back but but it was 5mg, 10 or above and Id have been a risk.

I've never done coke as a parent, but had in the past and I genuinely don't think a tiny amount would make you risky. Fuck loads would though.

Again with weed.

I stopped all of the above before I got pregnant though, Im far more of a wine kinda gal and even then I have to limit myself!

yes true, it does dontdrink. But this is always my username and it's a lighthearted comment on my caffeine addiction and nightbird tendencies. I don't take drugs any more and when I did I didn't take them from any child, let alone my own. Apologies if I was overly defensive, it's just a sensitive topic and I did say that it was a past issue I was very ashamed of. Your post read in a very judgmental kind of way to me. But maybe I was projecting.

For me it's not so much what but the state that you get in and whether you are dependence.

The line between legal/illegal is illogical and scientifically unsupported so views need to apply to all drugs or none.

IMO if you are not dependent, and not getting in a state where you aren't capable of looking after your children properly then personally I'm not fussed... And actually I wouldn't be fussed about what anyone else was doing anyway unless it was abusive / neglectful TBH. Anyway, that applies as much to alcohol as cannabis and so on.

I don't think it's probably to get a "mild" high off something like crack so assuming that is correct then obviously it's a no-no.

Then there's the issue of keeping children safe from substances be they legal/illegal/toilet cleaner/whatever.

Prescription/OTC drugs if abused, same applies I suppose.

I dislike this artificial line between different types of drugs - anything that can make you feel good can be abused and some illegal drugs are way less dangerous than some legal ones and some illegal drugs are less addictive than some prescription ones and so on.

dexter

I totally agree about prescription drugs. When I was early twenties before dc I was prescribed both Diazapan and Tamazapan at the same time, my life was a mess from the drugs not the mh issues.

Don't all parents take drugs of some sort, the parents on here who need a glass or two of wine every night.
I smoke weed, have done coke, and a few others in my time.
I can't say it has had any effect on my parenting either positive or negative, the two are completely separate.

BMWI, we get our weed from a friend who grows his own. I'd have no idea where to get it otherwise!

Personally I feel that people who judge someone for smoking a joint and then go on to say that they drink or take prescription drugs like morphine or Valium are massive hypocrites.

Getting drunk, stoned or off your face on pain meds while parenting is bad, it makes no difference whether it's illegal or not. Those things in moderation or as prescribed, not so much.

Could the person who cited upthread that cannabis oil has cured cancer please post that link ? Most interested in that statement. Unless it came from a habitual cannabis user. In that case, get a fucking grip.

AF, I did look them up:
They are from Californina, natch
and they're gonna cure cancer

I am not convinced…

Apparently there are a number of BIG investors, mainly in the US, where some states have decriminalised medicinal and recreational cannabis use, pouring lots and LOTS of money in to commercial cannabis growing. The article I read recently in the German 'Spiegel' (current affairs magazine) spoke of a predicted market of $100 billion

So, I believe less in in the cancer curing properties of cannabis than the money-making ones.

Gosh, really ? I am converted. I shall go and invest my ill gotten gains immediately !

Sorry, I forgot, their names are Rick Simpson & Jindrich Bayer.
I am still waiting for the randomised, controlled double-blind study to prove their claims.
In the meantime, they accept Paypal.

Gawd, I am

Gosh, 'ill gotten gains'? Pray, tell.

My wages

How banal

I am very banal. I am not an interesting and vibrant drug user either. No hope for me.

Yes, me and dp share a joint, occasionally two on a night in the garden.

It doesn't affect my parenting in any way.

Yeah, that association 'drug use = cool, interesting and vibrant' has irritated me my whole drug-free life

In my uni days and early twenties I dabbled in many things, weed being my preferred choice. Nowadays DH and I smoke weed together and with friends. We both have good jobs and a mortgage. We have an active social life that does not involve weed. We can go months without it no problem.

BUT we don't have children yet. Once children arrive things will be different. I would never smoke weed when I am responsible for a child. And this is coming from someone who very much enjoys smoking it, and believes weed should be legal (in the same way that alcohol is treated-no under 18s, no driving under the influence etc).

I have a drink occasionally and have been prescribed morphine, tramadol and co codamol in the past (not all at once though)

Had an occasional spliff many years ago and someone once spiked my drink with an E, which made me bloody sick