to ask if you take drugs (legal or not) even if you have kids?

[dextersdarkpassenger]

I'm not talking about caffeine or drugs which are considered (mostly) benign but either illegal or prescription drugs. Do you think it has helped your parenting (or helped through difficult aspects of parenthood)? Just curious as I often wonder if I am alone as this seems quite taboo but I think drugs have really helped me deal with being depressed and being a good(ish) mum and cope with things that I don't think I'd handle too well otherwise (I smoke cannabis, not around my kids).

DH and I both dabbled before having children, but we stopped a when we were ttc and wouldn't consider doing it now we have the boys. Prescription drugs are a different matter, but we are both lucky not to have the need to take any.

I haven't had anything illegal for 10+ years now, so I was 17ish. I wouldn't ever want to go back there and I wouldn't want to condone it to my DC as I've seen how bad I react to most drugs.

OTC and prescription drugs are used only as prescribed. I'm loathe to even take medium-long term painkillers even when I needed to take them as they feel far too good IMO.

Do I take prescription medication - yes.
Do I take illegal drugs - no.

My reasons for it being no are several. Like a lot of people, I experimented in my youth, but those days are behind me. I am 40 and I truly cannot be doing with all that crap. The effects of cannabis used to be quite mild when I was young but I believe a much much stronger variety is commonly sold these days and that it is linked to triggering mental health problems in a few people. In some it also escalates into more serious drug use or abuse. Yes, most people are fine but it can and does trigger very serious problems in some and since I cannot guarantee that there is zero chance of me being one of those who comes to grief, it is not something I want to risk, just to feel different for a bit.

I cannot guarantee the quality or safety of what I am taking, I cannot be sure I will make good decisions if I am out of it and I cannot know that I won't end up on social service's shit list and most importantly, I cannot know that my children will never know, never see or never become aware as a result of drug awareness education in school and it is not an example I wish to set.

I know many parents who have become better parents with the help of prescription drugs, from simple pain relief to anti psychotics.

The cannabis is less of a problem when pregnant than, you know, the smoking…
And the illegality - rightly or wrongly (and I agree there is a lot of weed hysteria about) it does remain illegal.

I didn't ever do drugs before children and I don't do them since children either. I never would. Ever.

I do drink moderately though. And I have never been a smoker.

I can understand why someone might smoke a joint to unwind at the end of a tough day the same as I might have a drink, but as for it helping you be a better mother? I don't think so.

I could envisage plenty of ways in which it might make you a worse mother though.

I used to use a LOT of drugs up until five years ago. Coke, weed, speed even crack a few times. Gave them up because otherwise a nice boy like dp wouldn't have been interested

But I couldn't imagine ever using them again now I have dd. I don't think you can be a good parent on drugs around your kids, I'd include being absolutely rat arsed in that too.

I think it is entirely possible for people to THINK that they are good parents even if they take illegal drugs. Doesn't make it true though.

I don't take illegal drugs since having children. Since well before having children actually.

I occasionally take sleeping tablets but only when my DH is around to be in sole charge of the kids for the night.

I no longer take temazepam (used to take it e.g. for flying).

I do take citalopram which I guess you could say is mind altering in that it is an anti anxiety and anti depressant drug.

I don't drink more than one or two units when I am responsible for the DC.

I am technically on a prescription drug (fluoxetine aka Prozac, I've been prescribed and only take what I must as an anti depressant) but no legal drugs for non medical purposes or illegal drugs.

It's not the drug use, it's the fact that you need and outside substance to be able to cope with parenthood that's the danger.

What happens when you build up a tolerance, the drugs no longer work, your depression hits so hard drugs don't pull you up anymore? What if you have a really bad day and there's no weed? Then what?

You're using bandaid solutions for a bigger problem. If you're depressed you need to work with proper channels for some CBT and learn better coping techniques.

Avoiding the problem by smoking weed isn't going to make it go away.

This may out me but oh well.

A man I grew up with was found dead outside of cash converters this very morning. Professional, lovely bloke. But loved his drugs, was into a bit of everything occasionally.

He'd just had a shite load of coke according to mutual friends.

I'm fairly sure his seven year old daughter wouldn't say it's improved his parenting right now.

I think cannabis is probably similar to having a glass of wine to unwind. I used to smoke but would not encourage my kids to because my cousin is schizophrenic (he is Dutch a smoked a lot as a young teen) and seems to be a link between early smoking and schizophrenia onset.

There was a guy I used to see taking his daughter to school in the morning holding her with one hand and his joint in the other. Not sure it made him a better parent though.

BTW Valium etc was routinely prescribed to my mothers generation. She was an addict - it probably helped her to cope with stuff that she shouldn't have had to cope with.

Cannabis is my drug of choice. I don't smoke around the children but like to smoke a joint at the end of the day after all else is done - much the way many people have a glass of wine. I only occasionally drink. I have smoked it regularly since my early teens, excluding pregnancies. I have never had a problem holding down a job, have an degree with honours and a well-paid, very responsible job. I have been active in community affairs a volunteer and was a school governor for eight years. In my past, I have recreationally used other drugs and only had fun with them, but have abstained since parenthood.

I am now 50 and the older I get, the more it infuriates me that cannabis is illegal. Experts such as David Nutt are ignored and it illegality perpetuates crime where it needn't. It should be legal, regulated, limited to adults, and taxed heavily as are alcohol and cigarettes. It is far safer and less harmful to society than alcohol. When I retire, I think I will become an activist advocate for legalisation. When my children reach adulthood, I will be happy to share a joint with them if they so wish.

I smoked cannabis in my very early 20's until I grew out of it, so I am aware of its effects. I would not expose my ds to me "relaxed" on cannabis, its not a natural mood I'd like him to experience as normal.

I do drink, but don't get drunk when ds is in my care.

As someone whose parent smokes cannabis and has done all my life, I don't think it makes you a better parent. It causes you to have priorities over and above your children which should never be the case (I am also a parent now too). I am fairly liberal about drugs and have been around lots of people taking a variety of narcotics at different times in my life, but I personally don't think drugs and parenting mix. While cannabis is much less harmful to society than alcohol, I still don't think it should be legalised and I certainly don't think people should smoke it when responsible for children.

By "prescription drugs" I assume you mean abusing drugs that are only available on prescription, rather than taking medication that has been prescribed for you?

The answer is no. I don't do either of those things. I dabbled pre-parenthood, but never since.

I used to quite heavily partake in a great number of dabbles, but wouldnt really be happy to now Im solely responsible for the kids. On the couple of times I did have a smoke, I found that I just got paranoid that something awful would happen and I wouldnt be safe to drive to A&E, which didnt make for a fun and relaxing evening.

No prescription drugs here. I tried one or two illegal substances long before I settled down but have absolutely no interest in that now. My life is just in an entirely different place and I would consider the risks to be far too high now that we have DC to consider.

I was given sleeping tablets by my doctor and have been too scared to take them.......
I think Ive turned from party girl to big wuss since having kids.

No, I haven't and I wouldn't. Mainly because I'm not a massive idiot

That is me too NettleTea

Never have and never will take drugs. I only take OTC medicines if really necessary. Last week I had a glass of champagne at home, the first alcohol I've touched since finding out I was pregnant with now 7mo DS

Taking drugs/drinking to excess while in charge of children is not only selfish and stupid, but extremely dangerous. I would judge anyone who does it.

Don't get me wrong, pre DC I would happily have a night out with cocktails and wine, but I had no one else to consider and never got falling in the gutter/throwing up in my shoes drunk.

Obviously prescribed medication taken properly is a different matter.

Tbh IMO it includes drinking while in care of dc when comparing to things like cannabis - I wouldn't want my dc in care of only drunk adults as much as I wouldn't want totally stoned adults but if the dc are cared for by a babysitter while the parent is away and consuming alcohol or cannabis then that's fine by me - if the dc are going without while the parent bought alcohol or cannabis then that is wrong. It is the legality of the drug that makes alcohol more appealing as being caught with cannabis can lead to prosecution and potentially ss involvement which makes cannabis more risky to consume as a parent. Incidentally when you say prescription drugs do you mean illegally obtained prescription drugs?

There are some drugs which should never be consumed by parents IMO as life with those drugs are all consuming and incompatible with being a responsible parent - eg heroin or crystal meth. Alcohol falls in to this category when it become serious addiction. Another no no IMO is drugs with a higher risk of death - leaving your young dc without a parent because of taking drugs is so unnecessary.