To be pissed off I'm treated differently because I look young

[DawnInOnMe]

I'm 27 but look 20 (not in a good way).

I'm starting to get really annoyed at how I'm treated by sales staff. Classic example this morning when I went to try on wedding dresses I was positively sneered at and directed to the sale rail. I was then refused to try on any of the dresses despite the shop being empty.

This is not a one off, I've been refused to test drive a car I wanted to buy before

grunt

Squirrel, how did the restaurant manager react when you proved your age?

He couldn't apologise enough and was extremely embarrassed. Knocked the cost of the wine off the bill, so I guess it was a good thing in the end

Oh good, Squirrel!

This is a great thread - so nice to know that I'm not the only one who has dealt with this. I could offload a thousand anecdotes about being ID'd for an 18 movie (at 31) etc... It really isn't much fun when you're in your twenties to be thought of so young. I'm pretty sure that I had a late start to getting promotions in my career because people just couldn't get beyond my youthful appearance, especially management level positions (one ex-boss admitted it to me later). I have often been mistaken for my own assistant upon meeting people for the first time at my office. I'm 39 now and I no longer look ridiculously young and you know what... I'm beginning to miss it! Looking young for good or for bad has been something that has defined me to a certain extent and now it's not so prominent I am rather missing it. I actually freaked out a bit this year and for the first time in my life I have started getting facials. I have also noticed that my previous "hell no" opinion about botox is softening... hopefully I won't ever get to the point where I want it but going through life looking so young has made me a little vain about it which I'm not proud of.

As a another cursed-with-youthful features-friend once said, you spend your twenties wishing people would take you seriously and not just see you as a cute young thing, then you spend your thirties wishing people wouldn't take you so seriously and think of you as a cute young thing again...

Take comfort in the fact that we will always look younger than our peers.

I took my 2 boys aged 1 and 3 last year with my husband to see Father Christmas at out local shopping centre.

I thought Father Christmas was being friendly telling me to sit down on the chair next to him with the boys. He then said, so where is mummy then is she off shopping? I looked at him and said i am the mom!?? He certainly changed his tone. My husband is 9 years older than me but i don't think i look young enough to be visiting Father Christmas!??

I'm nearly 29, 5' tall and still look young.

I got refused entry into the swimming pool last year because it was adults only (16 and above!). They did let me in in the end!

Bus drivers occasionally issue me with child tickets too, which makes me really angry when I've paid full fare.

I don't mind being IDed so much, but I hate it when people assume you can't do your job because they think you're a child. I love calling my manager over when a customer (usually a sexist man) insists I can't know what I'm talking about, and she comes out, also 5' tall and also very young looking. They never know what to say!

I'm 32, I only stopped taking id to pubs a year ago. I was id for a lottery ticket at 29, id for a sewing kit which had a minuscule pair of scissors at 28 (that really pissed me off). Also received some rather dubious eyeing up and down for a solero mojito ice lolly this summer!
In general I don't mind looking young but I do get pissed off with beauty counter sales assistants and fashion sales in general. I seem to be invisible to them unless I rock up with a blow dry, heels and plastered in make up. I got into a very long complaint with a department store over being consistently ignored at a beauty counter once, I received a load of freebies

Just take it as a compliment. At least at 60 you won't be invisible!

I got ID'd buying superglue once - I was 28 and 8 months pregnant at the time.

I got ID'd all the time until i was about 35 including for nurofen. I always looked much younger. DH has been asked if I was his daughter twice, once at customs in an airport. That was awkward!
I am well into my 40s now and think being a mum has aged me, but people still seem surprised by my age. I like it now, but sympathise as I remember being thoroughly and very annoyingly patronised when house hunting in the '90s aged 25 and trying to get a mortgage appointment was almost impossible!
So, yanbu, but you will miss the surprise on people's faces.

I have the same problem.

It is annoying but not much you can do. I find mentioning 'my husband' works because they then think im over 16 haha. I get constantly asked for ID in all supermarket chains. Frustrating but maybe we'll still look young when older which would be a positive.

I, too, have had so many of these experiences! I think the best was being ID'd for rizlas. THEY'RE PAPER!

I was pregnant aged 25/26, and (as sod's law would have it) studying for A levels at a sixth form college at the time - I lost track of the judgemental looks, patronising comments etc.

Sadly, I have a four year old,and a chef for a husband. I am no longer the lithe, bright-eyed young thing I once was! rapidly fattening grey haired old bag instead

My 9 year old son is very tall and looks more like more 13 or 14; he gets treated differently all the time. Drives me potty.

I don't get ID'd anymore but some people still assume I'm early twenties. Had quite an upsetting conversation recently when I opened up to an acquaintance about my fertility struggles. She had IVF to conceive her DCs and spent ages lecturing me about how I had no need to stress myself and worry about that 'at my age' and she was 28 before she got pregnant so plenty of time yet. Conversation died a bit when I burst into tears and explained I was 31 already

I'm 40 but look 30.

I got id'd in tesco buying wine last year.

Agree with the others who say it is a PITA. I know I've been turned down for promotions because I'm 'too young' the last time that happened I kicked off, because I knew the guy who turned me down was younger than me, but unfortunately the job had gone by that time.

I now have a 'happy 40th' tea mug at work. Just to prove the point. Time will tell if it's working.

WeAreEternal wtaf? Please tell me you are pursuing for unfair dismissal?!

My youthful looks haven't assisted me at work. Generally people assume that I can't possibly teach teenagers because of my looks. Being told to leave the room by a colleague when I'm running a detention is undermining, because they assumed there were unsupervised students out of bounds. Sorting out one end of a rabble of a class when a colleague comes up the other end demanding to know where the teacher is.

I got a child bus fare without asking at 29 and in early pregnancy. You have to show an ID card to qualify for it. I was IDed for scissors at 32, 7 months pregnant and accompanied by my toddler. The day after transfer from HDU from a difficult birth, and the MWs were doing double takes and rechecking my date of birth as they thought it was a decade out. Last time I was IDed, the assistant was completely perplexed by my driving licence and couldn't work out my age.

DH is older and tends to be mistaken for my father. When I was refused service in the local for buying him a pint, I yelled across the pub to come over and by his own. When he turned up with his mop of grey hair, the bar maid's face was a picture.

On a hen night I had to show ID for a lime and soda while my 18 year old friend went unchallenged for an alcopop. I was 31.

It has taken me longer to gain confidence as an adult. I like the fact I can surprise people with my experience now, like being in my career 10 years. I like the fact that I can fob off cold callers and chuggers that my parents aren't avaliable. Little things like that compensate for inconveniences a bit.

I am a high school teacher and get mistaken for a student all the time. In Vegas I could not go five minutes in the casino without being either ordered to show ID or being ordered to leave.

I used to have this problem until I hit my 40's. When I was about 20 and was staying at my then boyfriend's family home one summer, we went out to the beach with a friend of his, a very silly, immature friend at that, who seemed to think it was hilariously funny to poke fun at my youthful appearance. FBF made some comment about something that happened to me when I was 12, and this friend said 'What, was that last week?' Inwardly I was but outwardly I just shrugged and said, 'Well, I hope I look 32 when I'm 40.' So far, so good...

That evening we went out to a local nightclub. FBF and I had read the local paper and observed that they were checking ID that night, so we'd brought our driving licences. Aforementioned friend had not checked the paper and had not brought ID, ironic since he was the designated driver. So we got let in with the pre-9.30 price reduction. He didn't. He had to go home to get his ID, and by the time he came back, the price had gone up. He was kicking chairs. I was spluttering my cider up my nose. Karma's the business.

Did you have an appointment at the wedding dress shop? IME some of them get really funny about people turning up on spec.

Nothing to do with age.

It's annoying but there's not much you can do. I always wanted to be a few inches taller so I wouldn't end up being ID'd so much and having people question me all the time, especially at work. The social side of things never bothered me too much but looking young was a huge disadvantage to me professionally.

Have been out of the workplace voluntarily for the last 3 years and hope to return next year. It'll be interesting to see if 3 years if baby/toddler wrangling and postnatal blobbiness has helped my looks age-wise or just made me look crap!

Everyone used to say to me 'don't worry about looking young, you'll be glad of it when you're 40' but so far it's still something that annoys me. It's frustrating to have people patronize you when you are young as it wears away at your self confidence. By the time you're 40 it's a bit late to reap any rewards of a youthful complexion!

I am inclined to agree with iK8 as many bridal shops really don't like to have potential customers just turn up. I would equate it to walking into a hairdressers without an appointment and just sitting down in a random chair and asking the nearest person for a haircut. So if you just wandered in on the off chance that may have been what their problem was!

I do agree that looking young can be a curse as well as a blessing though. I'm 33, and at a glance, most people assume I am in my late teens or early 20's (and wonder why I am in charge/demand ID pretty much every time). While I wouldn't want to look old either, it is a bit annoying to have people consistently underestimate you and not take you seriously because you're a baby-face.

Yanbu! I've not long turned 27 but have been told I look 16/17. I don't dress scruffily or anything mentioned! I know people say you'll appreciate it when you're older but I find it so embarrassing!

A charity person came to the door recently and I could tell she was struggling to work out if I was old enough to sign up. I genuinely think she was going to ask if my parents were home but changed to "Are you older than 25 because you look very you
ng? You need to be at least 25 to sign up." Now seeing as I have been a regular donor to two or three charities since I was 21, unless there has been a rule change she was lying to avoid asking if I was 18

My young face, alongside my young sounding voice, means I get taken really seriously at work at least...in case that isn't obvious I'm being sarcastic.

Oh god I just remembered when I first met my partners cousin. She didn't know how old I was. She asked me if I was studying... In college I was about 25.

I got this too. All through my 20's i would get ID'd for alcohol or nightclubs. I got a prove it card when i was 18 and was told in one pub that he didnt believe it wasnt fake. My dad went mad. I also short, not even 5 foot so this didnt help.

Now when i visit a nightclub i automatically get nervous when coming up to the bouncers but then get really pissed off when they dont even give me a second glance. I am 36 now .

I'm 26 and I got id'ed for calpol

I feel your pain

Another one here, asked my age buying wine in the supermarket at 38, I just laughed.

Have also had a teacher come in and demand to know where the teacher is.

Is your dad home? Nope, this is my house.

I had Amex and Diner's club cards at 16 (long story) and shop assistants would always get a glint in their eye, take my card off and phone up the line for stolen cards. They always came back both disappointed and treated me with more respect.