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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

..wanting to kill husband for 'accidentally' taking my car keys

65 replies

AngryAngryWife · 19/09/2014 08:49

Went to leave for work this morning, and couldn't find my keys. Searched everywhere in a mad panic only go realise they were not here. Text husband querying whether he's seen my keys and he picked up my keys as well as his own this morning. It was a 'mistake'.

Beyond annoyed. Needed to drop 1 year old son at childminders and I also give work colleague a lift. Had to call colleague saying I couldn't take them in today, advise childminder we were going to be late, call in late to work (I work in a call centre so that was fun), and am now waiting for my man-child of a husband to return on the train with my keys.

All he has to do in the morning is get himself ready and dressed in the clothes I've ironed/had dry cleaned for him. I get up an hour earlier, get myself ready, sort my son out, take him to the child minders and then get myself to work. I'm also responsible for picking my son up and sorting him out before bed, as my husband is never home before 8.

AIBU to be furious at his 'mistake'. If he had taken even the smallest bit of care and attention this could have been avoided.

OP posts:
ThatBloodyWoman · 19/09/2014 08:50

He's human.

Unless he frequently does shit like this, be annoyed at the situation rather than him.

Aebj · 19/09/2014 08:51

lol. I feel for you. My DH did this to me once. I came home with his head low and a bottle of wine!!! He's still alive some how!!!

Aebj · 19/09/2014 08:51

He not I!!

ThatBloodyWoman · 19/09/2014 08:52

Oh, and start distributing the morning routine a bit more evenly.

Don't confuse the morning routine issue with him taking your keys today.

Thats best dealt with seperately and calmly.

Only1scoop · 19/09/2014 08:52

Make sure you locate the spare key incase it happens again.

Stop ironing so much.

AnnieLobeseder · 19/09/2014 08:56

He's an idiot, but a human one, and at least he's bringing the keys back. So now he'll be late for work too and is probably as annoyed with himself as you are.

Why do you take on so much of the morning burden though, since you are so obviously resentful at how unfair it is? And why doesn't he iron his own shirts?

Flexibilityisquay · 19/09/2014 08:58

I think the thing with the keys sounds like the straw that broke the camels back. Why are you doing everything for everyone in the morning, while he just gets to get up and go? That would make me furious far more than a one off mistake with the keys.

Longdistance · 19/09/2014 09:01

Get him to iron his own shirts. My dh does, and I'm a sahm hate ironing
Why haven't you got a spare key. If dh made off with mine by accident, I'd know instantly where the spare was.

hesterton · 19/09/2014 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sanch1 · 19/09/2014 09:02

My DH did this the other day, I was fuming! Luckily my sister was able to come over and give us a lift to work/nursery, but I had to get a very expensive taxi home! I can see the funny side now but I was not happy at the time.

Jennco · 19/09/2014 09:03

My husband has done that too, he used to cycle to work, took him about 50 mins on a good day, the day in question it was freezing cold and seriously raining hard. I made him bring me the keys back as there would have been no way to get my kids to school :)

I felt he had been punished enough and gave him a lift back to work :D

Mistakes happen, don't be too hard on him unless it is a bad habit of his.
Get a spare set of keys and keep them somewhere safe.

So whilst you are not being unreasonable, you would be if you let it get to the better of you and cause a big argument :(

Loveloveloveher · 19/09/2014 09:08

Lots of very sensible advice on here. I'm tired and pms'y though so I say kill him! Let me know if you need any help!

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 19/09/2014 09:09

I don't think this is about the keys really is it. It sounds like the split of work is skewed and you need to have a conversation with him.

Dh and I get up at the same time and he breakfasts with the kids while I get ready. By the time I get down they are in some state of undress so all I need to do is ensure they are suitably clothed before we leave. It's not much but it makes a huge difference to me.

You sound exhausted so you need to sort it

DaughterDilemma · 19/09/2014 09:11

OP he is probably as angry with himself as you are.

I think you should both do a sicky and take a day off together. Your life sounds like a struggle when it should be a nice time for you all. Is there anything you can do to take off the pressure?

WiseGuysHighRise · 19/09/2014 09:12

YABU

I have done this to DH

OneInEight · 19/09/2014 09:14

dh has done this on more than one occasion, however, as he works more than an hour away coming back is not an option. We sorted it by attaching a cuddly toy to my key ring so they are obviously different.

furcoatbigknickers · 19/09/2014 09:15

The keys aren't the real issue here. Why do you do everything including his ironing? I'd be pissed off too. I'm sahm and dh does his own shirts.

Methe · 19/09/2014 09:16

I took my dh's keys to work with me twice in a week Blush

OddFodd · 19/09/2014 09:20

Do you not believe him when he says he took them accidentally and that it was a mistake? I'm confused by the inverted commas around those words - it sounds like you suspect him of deliberately trying to sabotage you. Confused

And what everyone else said about ironing

HappyAgainOneDay · 19/09/2014 09:20

OneInEight Why wasn't the cuddly toy attached to your DH's key ring? Why did it have to be yours?

whois · 19/09/2014 09:20

I think you should both do a sicky and take a day off together. Your life sounds like a struggle when it should be a nice time for you all. Is there anything you can do to take off the pressure?

Oh right, yeah, great idea! Not only is that so fucking lazy when you're not actually sick, morals aside her work know she's going to be late.

Bet your colleagues love you, taking a 'sickie' whenever you feel like a day off.

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 19/09/2014 09:20

I've done this too - in my defence, I'd recently been given the office keys which were the same colour key ring.

It's the other stuff that's the problem...

partialderivative · 19/09/2014 09:21

Why have you typed 'accidentally' in inverted commas?

Do you think he did it on purpose?

ThrowAChickenInTheAir · 19/09/2014 09:22

It's infuriating. My Dh did it and I was cross.

But...then I accidentally did it too and he was actually quite philosophical about it. More than I'd been Blush

It happens. Deep breath. The day will just go a little differently than planned. There's nothing you can do. Deep breaths. Cup of coffee gin.

ABlandAndDeadlyCourtesy · 19/09/2014 09:24

I think the inverted commas are because OP thinks her DH has been very thoughtless, given the general pattern of his morning behaviour,..