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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

7 yo DD told by teacher she had to share her towel with another girl - AIBU to be unhappy about this?

217 replies

VelvetEmbers · 17/09/2014 16:38

Y3 have just started swimming, and this week it's every afternoon.

Last night DD's towel was so sopping wet it looked like she'd thrown it in the pool. She told me she'd "had to share with Anna" (not her real name). Apparently Anna only had a small towel so the teacher told DD she had to share her larger towel.

Wouldn't have been quite so bad had she dried first and handed it over, but apparently they "both dried together".

Sharing towels is an absolute no-no as far as I'm concerned, for hygiene reasons, but I've been on MN for many years and I know some of my views are odd. I also realise that what a 7 yo reports as the truth can be a different version to that of the teacher. BUT assuming this is what happened, WWYD?

OP posts:
marne2 · 18/09/2014 09:57

This thread has made me lol Grin, your child has just been swimming in a pool that probably contains traces of poo and wee ( it's like a giant bath that everyone uses ), walked across a wet floor which is probably contaminated with god knows what and you are worried about your child sharing a towel with a class mate?

Do you not share towels at home? ( we often do ), your child's more likely to catch something from using a toilet seat that someone else has sat on than sharing a towel.

I think if you approach the teacher they will probably laugh at you ( probably behind your back in the staff room ).

tilbatilba · 18/09/2014 09:57

Totally gross ~ send her with a second towel ~ one of those lightweight camping ones incase it happens again! Yuk Yuk Yuk

MillyONaire · 18/09/2014 09:59

NOOOO!! Has she not heard of Molluscum Contagiosum???? Horrible horrible disease spread by sharing of towels (and other ways). My kids both had it (probably not spread to them via towels mind you) and it was truly awful and lasted well over a year for both of them. Tell your DD's teacher about it immediately - she will not want to be responsible for spreading such a horrible disease!

tilbatilba · 18/09/2014 09:59

marne2 - we have 6 in our family and no one ever shares a towel, it would gross me out.

HamstersAndHockeySticks · 18/09/2014 10:02

Do you not share towels at home?

I can't speak for anyone else and I know you were asking the OP this, but personally I don't share towels with family members and never have done.

your child has just been swimming in a pool that probably contains traces of poo and wee ( it's like a giant bath that everyone uses ), walked across a wet floor which is probably contaminated with god knows what and you are worried about your child sharing a towel with a class mate?

So would you be happy for you or your child to share used underwear with each other? You know they have already been in a swimming pool that contains traces of wee and poo and walked across a floor that contains god knows what after all, so why wouldn't you be okay with two people sharing a pair of knickers?

I think if you approach the teacher they will probably laugh at you

Only if she's an arse.

HamstersAndHockeySticks · 18/09/2014 10:06

Like I've already said, it's fine if you're okay with towel sharing. However not everybody is and that's fine too. There really is no need to take the piss out of someone because they have different boundries as to what's acceptable to what you do. And everyone does have their own boundries at the end of the day.

maninawomansworld · 18/09/2014 10:31

I would ascertain exactly what had happened first, if it is as your DD says then I'd go and have a stiff word with the school and tell them that it is not to happen again.
Kids are gross little germbags, skin complaints, lice, god knows what else may be passed on. Yes they have in theory just washed but come on, how many 7yo kids wash thoroughly and correctly every single time?

duchesse · 18/09/2014 10:31

Milly- my DD caught Molluscum despite not sharing a towel with anyone outside the family...

naty1 · 18/09/2014 11:31

Ok so why dont they all just pass the same towel around and spread the nits/molliscum to all as theyre 'going to get it anyway'
And why bother teaching to wash hands lets just all get worms
Why bother excluding with D&v we will get it anyway?
Some people prefer to avoid infections.

duchesse · 18/09/2014 11:33

FGS, this was a one-off!

Quite a lot of you didn't live in 1970s I'll wager. You'd be surprised what children survive. I foresee a really uptight time ahead if everyone expects a 7 yo to never have to share towels.

gotthemoononastick · 18/09/2014 11:49

If it is no big deal,when do you then intend teaching personal hygene?Surely never share towels or toothbrushes?

If this really happened I feel sorry for the little girl who had to share as the teacher gave her no choice.

duchesse · 18/09/2014 12:02

I just find it hard to imagine that your DD's friend couldn't have dried herself with the towel she had. You can get dry with a hand flannel if you need to. Unless the other child has very long & very thick hair.

hagarthorne · 18/09/2014 12:42

Since all children concerned had just been throughly soaked in dilute bleach and will go into school and share the likes of keyboards and door handles OP should not worry. If truly concerned, pack dd off with spare towel for sharing (but predict you will soon get sick of that!)

Poor class teacher, having to take class swimming every afternoon. Last thing I would do is complain. (Think you have only a limited number of times you can complain in school lifetime and it is single figures so use them wisely).

KoalaDownUnder · 18/09/2014 12:52

gotthemoon, you still teach hygiene regarding sharing. You just also teach perspective and common sense.

RJnomore · 18/09/2014 12:52

No way would this be happening twice.

Apart from the hygiene issue, theres the personal property/respect issue. Im not articulating well but its to do with dignity of the child.

And if Anna had not been sent with the appropriate equipment, she should not have been swimming to start with.

SirChenjin · 18/09/2014 12:55

Dignity of the child? For the love of God, have some perspective. 2 primary school aged children shared a towel - they share a classroom, they share toilets, I'm willing to bet they share towels when they go to the toilet at each others houses....they generally don't give a hoot about things like this at this age

LatteLoverLovesLattes · 18/09/2014 12:58

I am curious to see what the teacher says :)

limitedperiodonly · 18/09/2014 13:04

I'm fairly relaxed about family towel-sharing but if the teacher really did this I'd be annoyed for the same reason as gotthemoononastick. No one should have to share their personal property.

If we forgot towels for PE we had to shower and dry with our gym kit. If we'd been swimming we just had to get dressed. Tough.

I thought it was sadistic at the time, but thinking about it now, I wouldn't have liked my games teacher to make me share my towel with another child.

I wouldn't expect the school to have freshly laundered towels to give to every forgetful child either.

One school photo has me with hair like a scarecrow. The teacher was brushing everyone's hair for them and I point-blank refused. My mum would have gone mad, and at seven I would have confessed.

My mum was really proud of that picture - because I stuck up for myself, but more importantly because it showed she was the one who had ultimate control not my teacher Grin

GatoradeMeBitch · 18/09/2014 13:07

It was a one-off. If 'Anna' shares her towel again you'd have every right to ask the teacher why she hasn't contacted Anna's parents about providing her with a sensible sized towel. But I wouldn't make an issue of a one off event.

RJnomore · 18/09/2014 13:12

Actually I have plenty of perspective. I was referring to the terminology used in the Care Standards which apply to childcare in Scotland. I would expect a school to provide a similar standard.

There is a massive difference in perspective between sharing a hand towel and being asked to use your own personal towel, which you have been given for the drying of your own body, including areas which you are being taught are private, with someone from your class at the behest of an authority figure.

Then again, there are a massive amount of people on MN who from memory dont think its important for a child to have their own underwear which isnt shared around among siblings etc so I dont expect everyone to get what I am driving at.

SirChenjin · 18/09/2014 13:19

The terminology used in the Care Standards regarding dignity does not, I'm willing to bet, refer to a one off towel sharing incident. Accidents happen at school, and children will always be given one of the school sets of underwear - does this constitute an invasion of privacy at the behest of an authority figure? Or is it simple common sense?

Links to the 'massive amount' of MNetters whose children share underwear please - I'm curious - many years of MN, and I've yet to come across this massive number of such posters, but I'm open to correction Grin

RJnomore · 18/09/2014 13:23

There was a thread, it was mind blowing! If I can find it I will link it. I was Shock

The dignity refers to (among other things) exactly this type of thing. Children should not be sharing toilets, being changed in front of other children etc.

duchesse · 18/09/2014 13:23

Jeez- are there seriously people who get het up about siblings passing underwear on?? Seriously? If that's all you have to worry about, you must lead blessed lives! First world problems, much? Has nobody heard of washing machines?

SirChenjin · 18/09/2014 13:25

So one thread, some posters - not a 'massive amount' Grin

A link to the text in the Care Standards which states that children must not be asked to share their towel on one occasion please.

SirChenjin · 18/09/2014 13:26

Oh hang on - did you mean sharing underwear around generally or did you mean passing on underwear once it's been outgrown?

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