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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think changing a dirty nappy on a train is NOT ok?

58 replies

TwoAngelFeet · 17/09/2014 10:14

I was on the train yesterday at around school pick up time, so it was quite busy.

Two women got on with their children, a few school age who ran riot the whole journey, running from seat to seat playing catch or something, disturbing other passengers and riding scooters down the aisles while their mums just chattered with eachother.

That was annoying. But then one of the women decided to change her toddlers nappy on the seats in the next 'seat section' away from me iyswim. It STANK. Lots of people moved away in disgust but she didn't seem aware. There are seats on the train which to be fair are probably grim but they got off the next stop!

AIBU to think she should have waited? Or is changing shitty nappies on public transport a thing?

OP posts:
Original poster
TwoAngelFeet · 17/09/2014 10:16

There are toilets on the train**

Must proof readBlush

OP posts:
crazylady321 · 17/09/2014 10:19

hmm not ideal but I guess it would depend how long the train for them was. Ive had to change a nappy on a coach trip before, was very awkward for myself felt like everyones eyes were on me, had to keep appologising to people near me, but was either that or let him sit in his own crap for the next hour and half

Original poster
TwoAngelFeet · 17/09/2014 10:20

They were on the train for 15 mins max, and got off the train 2 minutes after changing the shitty nappy!

OP posts:
WooWooOwl · 17/09/2014 10:22

YANBU. That's disgusting, selfish, and inconsiderate.

Housemum · 17/09/2014 10:23

gross - I could sympathise if she was on her own with 2 small ones, toilet loos are pretty grim (most trains i go on have a disabled loo with a drop down change table) and might be awkward/cramped with 2 kids but the other mum could have watched children & bags while she changed nappy. Personally even with 2 kids on my own i would have waited or used changing area - or even floor next to loo at worst. What if toddler rolled over/got poo on the seat? YANBU

slightlyglitterstained · 17/09/2014 10:25

They might have been straight off that train and onto a bus, another train, etc. And tbh, for most train loos I would be hard put to get myself and baby in without damage, let alone change and clean them.

Why is the fact that public transport is not designed for the needs of users the baby's or mother's fault?

loudarts · 17/09/2014 10:25

If there was no facilities then fine, but if getting off at the next stop and toilets on the train then they should have been used.

passmethewineplease · 17/09/2014 10:25

Not ideal, certainly not pleasant but not sure I'd like a baby/toddler being left in their own shit for ages either. Presumably the smell would still be present even if left?

Do train loos have seats? I think if poss I'd go in there and change them on my lap. or depending on said age of toddler could they stand in the loo and do it that way?

bakingtins · 17/09/2014 10:26

Perching on the fence. Swbu to leave child sitting in poo for any length of time. Train toilets are often tiny with no change table to lay baby flat. However if she was getting off next stop she could have waited and used station toilets. Pretty grim for the other passengers to do it in the carriage.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 17/09/2014 10:27

They should have done it in the toilets or waited until they got to the next stations to do it. Not least because they could then wash their hands. If there were no toilets or they were not getting off for a long time then I think I would have done it on a change mat by the doors so as to cause least disruption and have best change of smell clearing quickly when doors open. You can wipe you hands with clean wipes afterwards but I'd still be looking for a proper sink before touching anything.

littlejohnnydory · 17/09/2014 10:29

Noit ideal - but some train toilets aren't the larger disabled ones but a tiny cubicle with barely room for one adult. It would be impossible to change a baby in one of those. I had to change a dirty nappy on a plane once as I couldn't fit ds and I into the toilet. Some children's skin will break down very quickly if left in a dirty nappy, which would be a bigger consideration than a smell for me.

BastardGoDarkly · 17/09/2014 10:30

Jesus, that's gross, but yeah, what if she had to get straight onto a bus?

I've changed a baby on a train toilet floor once, put my coat down (grim)

They really should have changing facilities on board that this woman probably wouldn't have used!

JapaneseMargaret · 17/09/2014 10:31

YANBU. It's grim.

But believe me, this thread won't go well...

Thebodyloveschocolateandwine · 17/09/2014 10:32

Would be far more annoyed at the toddlers riding scooters down the isle really.

Nanny0gg · 17/09/2014 10:33

Why is the fact that public transport is not designed for the needs of users the baby's or mother's fault?

But it is. There are toilets.

Original poster
TwoAngelFeet · 17/09/2014 10:35

The child was a walking toddler so could have stood in the toilets. But I agree that train toilets are tiny and rank and I think she should have waited since she was getting off the train two minutes later. Buses and trains are very frequent in our area she could have made a quick trip to the station loos!

Baby changing facilities on trains is a separate issue I feel but definitely a valid one.

OP posts:
Lweji · 17/09/2014 10:37

I'd have done a quick nappy change if I wasn't going straight home.
Most train toilets are not that great for nappy changes and it's difficult to do it standing up while the train is moving. In fact, it's safer to do it on the seat.
I'm sure it must have been a quick change, particularly with the other children.

The other children running riot would have upset me more.

BastardGoDarkly · 17/09/2014 10:37

In that case, she really should have waited to do it at the station.

2 minutes wouldn't make any difference.

She's obviously not too concerned with the opinions/comfort of others though, if she's laying her older child scooter down the aisles!

Lyttelma · 17/09/2014 10:41

Let me share my tale from a cafe last weekend. Family with 2 DCs. Woman goes to the toilet (about 10m from their table), returned and announced that there was no changing table. And proceeded to change the baby's nappy at the table instead.

Admittedly it was on her lap rather than between the sugar bowl and her latte, but if she's using her lap surely she could have changed the baby in the loo, FFS???

NutellaPancakes · 17/09/2014 10:47

I think it is only acceptable as an absolute last resort, any other options should be used first - even if they are a bit inconvenient. Using the train toilets, getting off the train and using station toilets, retreating to the vestibule area between carriages... Poo and upholstered train seats do not go together.

I have changed dirty nappies lots of times on planes and trains, and yes sometimes it is tricky to actually squeeze into the cubicle, but I have always managed without having to subject members of the public to pooey nappies at close quarters.

With a small baby you can sit on the toilet lid and change them on your lap, and an older child can stand up - on the toilet lid with you supporting them is the way I have often done it. Bit grim, and not particularly easy granted, but if it can be done, then it should be.

wolfe1 · 17/09/2014 10:50

YANBU that is pretty grim. She should of used the toilets or waited.

5madthings · 17/09/2014 10:54

There isn't space in train toilets to change a nappy. I go in the space inbetween carriages and do it there, not ideal but what else can you do?

Five hour train journey to Manchester during the Sumner and dd decided she needed the loo, toilet was out of order so I went to the bit between carriages/ where disabled seats where. It was empty and Sat dd on portable potty I had for the journey as she won't sit on train toilet.anyway turns out dd needed a poo! And then the train pulled into Stockport and people were getting on and off and going past us. I apologised but thankfully everyone was fine and one bloke said "when you have got to go you've got to go". Blush

bakingaddict · 17/09/2014 11:06

There is a lot of variation in the type of train toilets. On Virgin trains you actually get a changing table above the toilet but i'm not sure you get toilets on all trains or at all stations but i'm assuming for the purpose of this thread there was toilets the mum could have used.

Agree with what Lweji said, don't mind babies being changed in front of me but kids running amok grates more

slightlyglitterstained · 17/09/2014 11:08

NannyOgg - toilets you cannot use don't count. Toilets that are difficult or unpleasant to use also don't count as "designed for your needs". Toilets that are blocked, broken, filthy, or too few to accommodate the number of people who need to use them don't count either. On the average commuter train in my experience most of these apply!

Which is not to say that it isn't pretty grim to change a nappy on a train seat, but it's better than leaving them sat in it.

BarbarianMum · 17/09/2014 11:09

I'd be much crosser about the useless design of train toilets that doesn't allow for this than the woman tbh. I used to change dc in the corridor bits by the doors rather than in the seating part of the carriage but that's not ideal either and it does depend on the design of the carriage and how busy it is.