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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

According to "d"P - My 15 year old is the only 15 year old in the world with an attitude

108 replies

GeeGeeAnee · 17/09/2014 08:31

I have two boys aged 13 and 15. Both can be difficult at times (as all kids can) but my eldest really isn't a bad kid at all. He's never been in trouble at school or outside of the home, is top set in most of his school subjects, is generally well mannered and well behaved and has kept a paper round up for almost two years getting up religiously at 6am 6 days a week to earn his own money.

Now yeah, some times he can have a bit of an attitude. He's 15 after all, he knows everything there is to know about everything. DP just cannot see this for what it is though and makes a massive deal out of it each time he does it.

Last night I was working night shift and got a text from DP saying DS had been chucking a football around in his room and had refused to put it in the shed when told to do so. My response was "cheeky sod he is, I'll be having words tomorrow." DP then began sending text after text about how out of order DS is, what an awful attitude he has, how he's now burnt all his bridges with DP and how he needn't go to him for help with anything ever again and that's it, he's finished with him Hmm. My response to this huge over-reaction was "ok - he's a prat for chucking a football around the house and is out of order for refusing to do as he's told but he is 15 - 15 year olds tend to have an attitude, it's not highly unusual (and certainly not bad enough to talk about disowning him!!!). DP decided to share with me that no, 15 year olds do not generally have an attitude, no kids he's ever known at that age have had an attitude and his own angelic kids never showed such an attitude and he's upset that he "has to live with it" Hmm

AIBU to think that yeah he's right about the football and DS was out of order to disobey a request but it's not highly unusual behavior for a lad of his age??

OP posts:
DontDrinkAndFacebook · 18/09/2014 04:26

I think the general pattern of these threads is that the OP comes on, makes a few ranty posts to get it all off her chest, has a good old moan about him, gets told that she INBU at all, and what is she going to do about it?

And then she quietly leaves the thread without directly address any of the points raised, so she doesn't have to take responsibility for changing any of it.

She seems quite happy to let it continue so long as she can let off steam here every few weeks.

Poor kids. Sad How desperate do you have to be to hold onto a man that you will do this to your children? They weird thing is she doesn't even seem to like him that much herself. Confused

Morloth · 18/09/2014 04:30

He doesn't 'have to live with it' does he?

He can fuck the fuck off.

DH who I love beyond most reason wouldn't day be like that about either of our boys.

Because while you shouldn't have to choose between your partner and your kids, if you do then your kids should 'win' hands down, every time.

Random1999 · 18/09/2014 06:16

Take it from someone whos been and seen where your son is it wont be pretty in a few years time when he runs for the hills and never visits (and when he does, for an hour a month when your partners at work or whatever) because he cant stand him or his attitude... id get rid now not one person will EVER talk to my baby like that or about him/her like that without the gates of hell being well and truly open

backbystealth · 18/09/2014 07:12

Please please finish with your 'd'p.

I can't tell you the damage this will be doing your son(s).

It will severely affect their self esteem and perception of themselves and also lead to anxiety or anger problems - I absolutely guarantee it.

You're their mother - and you sound great - and it's your job to make decisions and judgements on what is best for them.

This man is just awful - just awful. In every way.

You'll feel so free and so relieved once he's gone.

backbystealth · 18/09/2014 07:16

ps it's bad enough having a father like your dp (ie a big, jealous swinging dick/bully) but at least (most) fathers love their sons and tell them and show them that. So there is some balance. This man doesn't even like your son let alone love him! Your son will know this.

GatoradeMeBitch · 18/09/2014 11:42

And she hasn't come back. I hope it's because she's been busy packing his bags, but I won't hold my breath. I never have a good feeling about OP's who just make several posts about what they hate about their DP but don't appear to be reading replies. It's just venting.

MistressDeeCee · 18/09/2014 18:32

I can't get my head around putting a man before your own children

Walkacrossthesand · 18/11/2014 06:17

MN has a wonderful collective memory that sees right through name-changes - must be galling for posters trying to come on repeatedly to vent about things without actually wanting to do anything about it!Smile

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