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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what are your opinions on social cocaine use?

535 replies

sshroom · 16/09/2014 13:29

I am finding that it is becoming more acceptable to use cocaine socially.

Friends and people that I know take it at weekends, at parties, bars or clubs and sometimes on a night in with friends and a bottle of wine.

These people are teachers, sahms, childcare workers, administrators, financial advisors and social workers so a real mix.

Is it becoming more socially acceptable? Would you have a problem if your friend did it occasionally?

OP posts:
FlossyMoo · 17/09/2014 10:49

I wasn't talking about doing it in the Loos that although disgusting his hidden from children. If the drug became legal then it could/would be used in front of children. The same way alcohol is.

We hear constantly what a drain on the NHS/police/charities alcohol abuse is for example. Any tax taken from the sale of alcohol clearly is not enough to pay for the treatment and consequences of it's abuse. Legalization of drugs would only add to the drain on reasorces.

TheLovelyBoots · 17/09/2014 10:55

Again, I agree with RonaldMcDonald.

Flossie, I share your concerns re: NHS but also think it's important to have a consistent, sensible drug and alcohol policy. If you legalize the drug trade, you can tax it and to an extent pass the tab for drug overdoses onto drug users. Currently, there's no way to do that.

I'm also a parent and I'll admit I'm not crazy about my kids growing up in a world with legalized drugs. But as it stands, it's really not that hard to source them. And if they do dabble in drugs, it would make me very, very unhappy but likewise it would be a relief to know they were produced within a heavily regulated industry.

FlossyMoo · 17/09/2014 11:09

The point I'm trying to make is that we cannot sustain the cost of health care and support for the addictive products that are already legalized and taxed why would people assume legalizing and taxing drugs would be different?

I don't want my child to die with a needle stuck in their arm and their whole life ahead of them. I don't want my child to need reconstructive surgery on their face due to using cocaine. The fact that drugs are illegal is just one more reason for me to discourage the use of drugs to my children. If that is taken away and it is normalized I fear for their future.

RonaldMcDonald · 17/09/2014 11:33

flossy

legality will not prevent your child from using
nor will our pretending what the affects of certain drug usage has to children scare them away from using

we need to be honest about drugs of all forms
we need to be clear about how drugs affect people, safety issues
when we are honest our children can believe us and come to us with problems
we will seem like adults guiding them into adulthood
not mums so out of touch that our advice doesn't matter or is disregarded as laughable

My mum genuinely believed that one toke on a spliff would lead to a skag problem
I got my information elsewhere from people who had as much idea as me

I've observed many people with drug issues. Usually they are as a result of something else.
Being open and honest with your children will help not harm even when being honest frightens you

FlossyMoo · 17/09/2014 11:46

I am fully aware legality will not prevent it if it is something they want to do but as a parent I will use every weapon in my arsenal to put them off drugs. The fact that it is against the law is just one of them.
As a child and growing up it was not something I was exposed to. I was aware of drugs & substance abuse but it wasn't around me. By the time I reached 18 I was in a different social circle where it was used as recreational. I chose not to partake because I knew what damage it can cause and it was illegal. That was a big factor for me. I was brought up to abide by the law.

I have no problem with being honest with my children. I am honest when I discuss my day at work and the horrific situations I deal with as a result of substance abuse. I will never ever paint substance abuse in a pleasant way or have a look at me I'm an "in touch" mum attitude because it isn't. It is destructive and hurtful and ruins seemingly normal peoples lives.

Not every druggie has had some trauma happen to them to turn them to drugs. You wouldn't believe the professionals I deal with who have had normal childhoods and are married with 2 point 4 children who used drugs only on a weekend Hmm

RonaldMcDonald · 17/09/2014 11:59

I don't consider someone who uses drugs only at the weekends as someone with a problem with addiction
I was discussing individuals with addiction problems

can I ask why you are seeing them if they use drugs only at the weekends?
or do you mean that you are seeing some individual who began to use drugs in one way and the way that they use has moved into something else?
I would doubt that they have no underlying issues

FlossyMoo · 17/09/2014 12:13

The groups I see are a mixed bag. Some turned to drugs as a way to self medicate due to child abuse/trauma/MH some used drugs because they were exposed to it in the home by their parents so it was very "normal". Some used drugs because everyone did.

The gentleman I am seeing tomorrow began taking drugs as a teenager on weekends but over the last 8 years it crept in to his everyday life. He started out with Ecstasy & speed but as he progressed through his career he could afford cocaine. It was also widely used in his social circle. He married had a family life was good. However little by little in began to creep in to his everyday life. He says he didn't notice it, he was not stressed and was happy. He tells me he felt he knew what he was doing and could handle it as he had done for the last 8 years. Turns out he couldn't.

He has lost everything due to his addiction. His is not a one off experience, I am faced with it everyday. Also it is not just drugs alcohol addiction is just as damaging.

I know there are many weekend drug takers that don't go down this road the same way as not all weekend drinkers become alcoholics but for me the legalization would open the flood gates for those who have never tried it before due to fear of the law or have not tried it because it is kept behind closed doors they are not exposed to it.

We have already legalized one life destroying product that society is struggling to deal with do we really need to legalize another?

LadyWithLapdog · 17/09/2014 12:21

I only know a couple of people who take something occasionally. I have no idea about the rest and it hadn't crossed my mind to wonder. However, I think they should be legalised so when my kids want to try I don't have the additional worry of what they're cut with.

We have just the one body and one life and we should be allowed to do with what we like, even if it's stupid. As indeed, so many people do on a daily basis. As PP said, if you drive etc and put someone else at risk or you behave irresponsibly towards your kids, that's a different matter. Gah, complicated.

FlossyMoo · 17/09/2014 12:40

We have just the one body and one life and we should be allowed to do with what we like, even if it's stupid

I shall say that to the mother who's 22 yo son died 6 days ago from a heroin overdose. He only tried it once at a party apparently when he was 15 yo. But hey the fact that she will live the rest of her life never seeing her son again because it was his body his choice matters not.

I'm sorry if my views on this are staunch but I wonder if those that want drugs legalized have experienced the destruction & pain it causes. Maybe my views are jaded by what I have seen and I should look at it from a different angle but I can't no matter how hard I try.

DefinitleySpeltWrong · 17/09/2014 12:51

We have just the one body and one life and we should be allowed to do with what we like, even if it's stupid

If people choose to do stupid things to themselves that's fine by me as long as it doesn't effect other people. Unfortunately using cocaine does effect thousands of innocent people in the most horrible ways imaginable. (Try googling!) The sad thing is that some people don't care as long as they have their fun

If you use coke you help fund drug cartels and the drug trade. No one can argue against that.

ByeByeButterfly · 17/09/2014 12:56

I've never tried cocaine.
I have had cannabis a bit between 17-19 (now 24).

People can do what they like as long as it isn't in front of me.

I feel equally uncomfortable with someone drinking to excess as they become so unpredictable.

My sister experimented with nearly everything barring meth for her uni years but now she's a parent only has a few ordinary nicotine cigarettes a week and a few glasses of wine.

Nobody knowsespecially the personif they are going to get addicted.

Why take the chance?

LadyWithLapdog · 17/09/2014 13:08

You don't have to like my views. Yet people eat too much, drink too much, smoke too much. Maybe it's repulsive, but I don't want to live in a society where lifestyles are proscribed. Maybe it comes down to education but you can't educate if you're not even allowed to talk about it.

FlossyMoo · 17/09/2014 13:19

People are allowed to talk about drugs.

They are talked about all the time.

LadyWithLapdog · 17/09/2014 13:23

Of course, just that the message is always 'say no'.

TheLovelyBoots · 17/09/2014 13:25

If you use coke you help fund drug cartels and the drug trade. No one can argue against that.

This has nothing to do with the nature of drugs, it's because they are are illegal. If alcohol were illegal, you'd have the same issue.

FlossyMoo · 17/09/2014 13:27

Of course it is NO. Why would anyone want to encourage people to take drugs?

There a loads of things aimed at children/young adults so they can discuss drugs openly, FRANK is but one of them. I openly discuss drugs with my 12 yo son. I have chatted with him about peer pressure/affects/cost to life/the law/drug gangs. You can discuss drugs with people without encouraging them to do it.

LadyWithLapdog · 17/09/2014 13:27

I mean it's always about how to say no, which doesn't seem to work. It's forgetting that they must be fun. What's a safe level, how do you have fun without it spiralling out of control etc.

LadyWithLapdog · 17/09/2014 13:29

I agree that Frank is a good resource. I talk to my DS but I don't have personal experience so it's difficult to answer some of the questions.

FlossyMoo · 17/09/2014 13:33

Why even go down that road?
Drugs are massively unpredictable just like people are. What is weekend drug use for one person is a death sentence for another.

I know my children will probably try drugs but I hope that my warnings and first hand experience of what drugs can do will be in the back of their mind and they stop at cannabis. Maybe they won't but at least I laid out all the cards and did my best to encourage them to choose a different path in life.

LadyWithLapdog · 17/09/2014 13:49

Of course I also want my kids to have happy and addiction-free lives. I just don't think I have the answers. Regarding alcohol, I can because it's legal and there are 'safe' limits. I know that if they're drinking daily they have a problem etc.

FlossyMoo · 17/09/2014 13:53

Use FRANK Lady it should give you enough info to answer your children's questions. Remember though it is ok to say 'I don't know. I have never tried drugs, I don't agree with them and I worry about the consequences'.

Hollycopter · 17/09/2014 13:54

I'm a 30ish professional in a city. I don't know anyone who uses it and certainly none of my friends do.

I don't think anyone would destroy homes, families and communities if they had to do it in person, but they're doing it all the same whenever they buy cocaine. It's not something I would want to live with and I wouldn't want to mix with people who do.

LadyWithLapdog · 17/09/2014 14:09

FlossyMoo - that's one of the issues, though. I don't have experience because I grew up in a dictatorship where everything was off limits. Now I have the freedom, but at nearly 50 and with kids, mortgage and a responsible job, I'm not about to start getting off my tits at weekends. I simply don't think I have enough info. DS born here, regular teenager.

LadyWithLapdog · 17/09/2014 14:10

Err, enough info for DS, not for me starting the party life :)

Laidbackorlazy · 17/09/2014 14:13

I don't see it becoming more socially acceptable among my friends (35-45ish). one or two do it to excess but have been for years & we worry about them greatly. Others, including me, tried it a few times in our twenties and don't do it now (hesitate to say grew out of it, but feels a bit like that). Others have never tried it and never will. Ime it makes you act like a twat & the paranoia coming down was something I never want to feel again.