To think this is rather petty.

[Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost]

I took my D.D and nephew out the other day and we had a game of crazy golf. My nephew is 21 months old. Anyway we were behind this family. Now keep in mind my D.N is 21 months old a baby doesn't know any different or about patience ect which no-one would expect him to.
Anyway to get straight to the point D.N hit the golf ball and this grown man turned around and went (to a baby keep in mind). It's my turn first. I looked at him like he had 10 heads and said. "He's a baby". He just gave me a look and carried on playing.

Spadequeen first you said "I am surprised by the mans reaction, it does seem a little extreme" (to which I replied at 19.47.52) and now you say "his reaction did seem a bit ott", so, I'll say again:-

It sounds very mild indeed to me. He merely looked at the child and said (not shouted) "It's my turn first" Some children of that age do understand the concept of taking turns. Anyway, apparently that would have been enough to make the OP's sister and BIL "go nuclear" if they'd been told. I don't understand why at all.

Nothing either extreme or OTT in his reaction whatsoever.

Noisyoyster I can't think of any either, so join the club.

It must be difficult to be weighed down by the albatross of entitlement

Agreed, Gruntfuttock. The mans reaction was measured and totally normal when confronted by a stray child and a carer who wasn't paying attention to him.
It certainly wasn't extreme or OTT.
The OP, on the other hand, had a very extreme, abnormal and totally OTT reaction and cannot understand she should have apologised because she genuinely doesn't see what the problem is.
And that is really rather sad.

This is one of the most bizarre threads I have ever seen on MN.

Firstly it is really rare to get 99% of posters agree with each other, but I have never seen a poster be totally unable to comprehend what is written in the replies before.

OP, the problem was not your nephew, it was you. You needed to have more control over him. 21 months is plenty old enough for him to begin to be taught about taking turns.

OP:

IT WAS YOU.

IT WAS YOU.

YOU WERE IN THE WRONG.

YOUR NEPHEW WAS NOT IN THE WRONG.

THE MAN WAS NOT IN THE WRONG.

JUST YOU. ONLY YOU. YOU. YOU. YOU

I agree with fantastic. Case closed…….or should be.

Nobody, NOBODY, ever blames a 21 month old for the failure of the person supervising them.

Many of us who post on mumsnet are parents. We understand that a toddler does not understand the social rules.

That is why it is down to the adult to guide them.

People are not criticising your nephew.

They are telling YOU that you did the wrong thing in expecting the world to bend to the whim of a toddler.

OP: AIBU?

EVERYONE ELSE: YES!!!!! For the love of God, yes, you are!!!

OP: No I'm not!!

Just when you think this place can't get anymore batshit!

YABVVVVU

Nanny - you beat me to it.

My DD has 'form' for doing this. She's 3.8. Most of the time she can wait her turn because I've made a habit of telling her that other people were there first, and that she needs to wait to let them go first.

Last week we were at our local park which has a crazy golf course. We'd been walking around a different part of the park and ended up crossing the green. I made her keep well away from the holes as other people were playing. Partly in case she was hit by a stray golf ball, and partly because she would want to play.

Small children do not understand queues, patience, etc. That's why responsible adults (parent/nanny/carer/grandparent/aunt/uncle/etc) occasionally need to step in and ensure that protocol is followed.

I suspect this thread may run and run though.

Gruntfuttock and katiekaye, did you read the rest of my post? I asked if anything had led up to the man snapping, meaning had her nephew done anything else, I found it difficult to believe that there was this one incident alone.

I also said that I thought that she was in the wrong, it was her job to watch her nephew and ensure that he didn't disrupt other people.

Op he is not a baby. He is old enough to be walking around and swinging a golf club, therefore he is old enough to start learning about taking turns, it was your responsibility to teach him this as he was in your care.

As has been pointed out to you by myself and many others, no one is blaming your nephew for his behaviour, the blame has been laid firmly at your feet. You behaved unreasonably its a shame the man said something to your nephew, he should have said it to you.

YABU
Not everybody wants to 'revolve' around children, not matter how amazing YOU think they are.

Never understood why people post here for an opinion if they are not willing to consider anything but their own.

I did rad your post Spacequeen and disagreed that the man was OTT or extreme. I thought he was actually quite tolerant after reading the OPs other posts

What KatieKaye said goes for me too.

Well depends on whether he snapped/shouted or simply said, it was his turn. it also depends on if it was the first instance of the child doing something, if it was, then I think it is an over reaction, if on the other hand as I suggested that this wasn't the first instance, then obviously no, it isn't an over reaction. But since we weren't there, well never know.

Whether you agree with me or not re the mans reaction, the main point stays the same, it's is the ops fault for allowing her nephew to behave in that way, it was her job to ensure that he was safe and didn't endanger himself or others, he is also not a baby as she insists, he is a small child capable of walking and swinging a golf club, therefore he is cab able of being told to wait his turn.

The OP keeps saying snapped (probably so that she can have a reason to be angry), but not shout.
I suspect "snapped" here is just "said without a smile on his face".

OP I think he was talking to you through your nephew.

You were being rude and allowing a child in your care (who's far too young for crazy golf imho) to get in the way of him and his family, instead of holding him back and allowing them to go first.

IMO the guy used polite and age appropriate language. He used four words. Short and to the point. If his tone was long suffering/exasperated or even a bit hacked off most reasonable people would understand why As he was the one who was inconvenienced and nobody was taking charge of the child

Nobody is saying There's something wrong with your dn, there's something wrong with you.
Your attitude is awful. It does not sound like someone who should be in charge of a child.
The man told your dn to wait for their turn because you werent being responsible. You.
Nothing your dn or this man did. You.

"Having my baby nephew's back"

Weeping tears of laughter here, so pointless mafioso posturing!

Christ is this still going.......

Seriously OP has to be the author of this Supersoaker thread too?

Pages and pages of YABU and no comprehension of fault at all. PMSL.

Or related